All Good Things… Why The Cinema and The Library Don’t Mix · 12:47am Jun 14th, 2020

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12th June 2020

Hello, Chaps and Chapettes,

A warning to begin with. I’m going to give spoilers for Artemis Fowl. However, only the film, so if you want to read the book, you’ll find no spoilers here. Confused? Read on.

(Photo: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/198228821074869925/)

I love a good book. The thrill of opening a story for the first time, smelling that fresh book smell if it is particularly new, and starting a new adventure always excites me. The idea of creating a new world and new people within my imagination is what has urged me towards telling my own stories someday when the time is right for me. You may even see a few shorts in these blogs in the not-too-distant future. Alongside that, I also love the cinema. I love seeing clever stories told and performed, I love the nuances of what scenes mean and when witty dialogue and plots take us to places we didn’t expect.

But I am not fond of adaptations anymore.

I have to add any more to the end of that sentence because in the past, I got really excited when my favorite book series as a child, THE favorite book series for many children (the one about the wizards) were being made into movies. I remember sitting in front of the computer trying to watch the trailer and constantly pulling the status bar back to the start to watch the bits that had loaded while waiting for the rest to finish. I couldn’t wait to see all the characters I knew become flesh and magic on screen, and the teaser didn’t disappoint.

I went to see the first film with my dad and, while I remember enjoying it, I also remember thinking, “well, they missed that bit, and this bit, and where’s that character, and why does this look like that and not how it looked in my head…” I didn’t leave disappointed on that occasion but a few films down the line I would. The fourth book in the series was pivotal for me, it showed to me what power stories had and how they could shock and scare you, even when the characters were not real. However, when it came to the film, the same characters I’d worried about and mourned for were… well, lackluster. The story felt rushed, there were more bits missing, the charm was gone and I was left feeling as though they hadn’t cared for that story the same way I had.

There were other times this has happened to me. Obviously, I was talking about the Harry Potter series there, films which I enjoyed but held in a different light to the books. Another such occasion was the Golden Compass, by which I mean the first time they tried to make it, not the better (but not perfect) BBC version. Then there was the first Tomb Raider movie, based on the games (and movies adapted from games are not much better) yet I found the novelized version of the film before it was released, read it, and… it was SO. MUCH. BETTER! There were reasons for the character motivations, a plot that felt whole not rushed, and genuine peril. Any of these could have been the icing on the cake, yet they’re not the cherry. That accolade goes to the latest adaptation of a book which I watched just an hour ago.

(Photo: https://www.everythingaction.com/2015/11/25/ea-commentary-lara-croft-tomb-raider/ )

Artemis Fowl. These books were brilliant reads when I was growing up. They were clever, the anti-hero was a genuine anti-hero who you did not know whether to love or hate, the plot made sense and the narration did not treat you like you couldn’t follow the story. The world of the fairies was made to feel like it was New York if New York was underground and populated by magical creatures with potty mouths. The film, however, released recently on a streaming service instead of into cinemas, seems to completely ignore everything which made the books good.

I will be honest, I did enjoy parts of this movie. I liked the comedy of Mulch, a dwarf character played fairly well (I saw him as a far gruffer, dirtier character in my head) by Josh Gad and while I love Judy Dench, her character was much more of a Bronx bruiser than a grumpy queen in my imagination too. These were niggles that I could have overlooked, if the film had followed the initial plot of the first book, yet it didn’t. Instead, it took Artemis Fowl (Jr) from an ACTUAL criminal mastermind, who was such as he was simply smart enough to do so and not get caught, to a kid who is only motivated to stop moping around his manor when his dad, Artemis Fowl (Snr) goes missing. Gone is the kid who has proved he’s smart in the first act, now we just have to take the word of the narrator that he’s smart. As for a criminal? He has hardly done a criminal act until the epilogue and even that is excusable at best.

As a stand-alone film, it was okay. Fun but condescending. It forgot the rule that you show your audience what is going on, you do not tell them. The big disappointment was that I was excited to see a book I had enjoyed being shown in front of my eyes on the screen. For that, I’m still waiting.

So what’s the problem? Why can’t a good book be made into a good film? The issue lies in at least two parts as far as I can see. Once, it used to be the limits of what cinema could do, but now with computer technology, those limits are getting less and less. Then, there’s the length a story takes vs the length of a movie. Yet, it is possible to make movies based on books that inspire and films like Lord of the Rings, Green Mile, and Shawshank Redemption have proven that.

( Photo: https://www.shpock.com/en-gb/i/W4Gd2G3j4GCMeIKs/stephen-king-shawshank-redemption )

No, the conflict for movies partially comes from the fact that our minds are built in such a way that many of us can take a few words and create worlds, civilizations, conflicts, and victories. We can go way beyond the scenes in our heads and visualize our beloved characters and lands in ways that movies simply cannot reach. Some have got close, few have gone all the way. A film can say things in fewer words than a book, but a book will tell you it is a far more enchanting way.

The last issue depends on who makes it. Make no mistake, I have great admiration for actors, directors, and every single body who has a hand in making a film. However, that is a vast cast and crew each having a hand in weaving the same vision one person with a pen had before them. When you include the demands, urges, and lusts of the people who pay to have these films made, who will push you off a cliff if they think it will make them back the money they gave you, then you have a problem. The story is no longer about an author wanting to tell a tale. It is about a greedy beast wanting riches and success.

Yet, I will always live in hope with each film I wish to see that it will inspire and urge me to create the way films, television, music, and books did when I was little. If all the stories I’ve absorbed have taught me anything, it is that nothing is won if you don’t want it to be a success in the first place.

If you agree, or disagree, please tell me so in the comments. I love hearing from you and always read what you write :) Stay safe, stay happy.

All good things,
Love, Scaramouche.
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