Star Wars: Rals reviews Rey · 5:37am Feb 3rd, 2020
So, now that the Star Wars saga is over... for now... I thought about taking a different look at them. Sure, we as the audience are seeing the movies, critiquing them, and we have our complaints.
Dear gawd, do we have our VERY VERY VALID complaints. Holy Sithspit, I don't want to look at that.
BUT! These are still just our views as an audience. The movie-goer's perspective and this franchise is more than just movies. It's always been bigger than just the story to tell, it's been a world meant to capture the imagination and inspire. The two perspectives, and others, between criticizing the film and the universe and lore, they do not always align. And while most can agree that Disney's additions to the saga have been, well, a bit lackluster to say the least...
In my honest opinion, they've been horrible. Force Awakens was alright, The Last Jedi was a cinematic abortion and Rise of Skywalker was a rushed, mediocre bookend. Those are my views as a fan and movie-goer. But let's hear from someone else, someone who is actually from the Star Wars universe- my original character, Jedi Shadow Rals Braddaig. Master Braddaig, what do you think about Rey?
"Well, I haven't met her personally. She seems like a very courageous and strong-willed young woman, very strong in the Force."
Yes, she's something of a prodigy, isn't she?
"It would appear so, yes."
Indeed. Barely twenty-something years old and she's an expert pilot, expert mechanic and an expert at martial arts. Almost too convenient, isn't it?
"Well, she has been on her own from a very young age, if my understanding is correct. Abandoned by her family on a desolate, barren world without friends or caretakers, no one to look after her. She must've had to cultivate multiple skills in order to survive the wasteland."
Yeah, I... you're right about that, yes-
"It's not easy to grow up alone. The fact that she has survived for this long is a testament to her resourcefulness. It would be absolutely vital to learn as much as one could, to adapt and practice combat in order to survive. There are far too many, each day, who become prey to hostile beasts or criminal gangs. Or become a different kind of predator themselves. Living more instinctively can breed a certain-"
Okay, so maybe the skills are justified. To an extent.
"I'm only speaking hypothetically, of course. Again, I haven't met the young woman."
Yes, well, she's on Tatooine right now and I have a feeling she won't be visiting Equestria any time soon.
"Tatooine's another harsh environment. The Hutts don't enforce the law very much there and it tends to draw the more seedier sorts."
Yeah it's a wretched hive of scum and villainy, we get the reference. Back to Rey, so it's not IMPOSSIBLE for her to be able to fly a ship, kill multiple stormtroopers and thugs and basically use the Force without remotely any prior knowledge, BUT!
"Yes?"
But what if I told you she took down a Sith Lord single-handedly?
"That would be quite an impressive feat."
...That's it? That's all you have to say?
"I don't feel I'm able to accurately say more without more details."
Okay. Young girl. Never held a lightsaber before in her LIFE. Only heard about Jedi through stories and whispers, legends, that stuff. And she was able to take on one of the most powerful dark-side users in the galaxy, pretty much the heir to the dark lord of the Sith.
"Again, that's very impressive. I can see why such an event could be exciting in a film."
I- sure, okay, this isn't really going the way I imagined it. Which is weird, since I'm LITERALLY imagining it.
"Well, what you've done so far is simply to describe an extraordinary character who seems to be very capable. You've only told me that Rey is exceptionally skilled, strong in the Force and came from a very unfortunate background, a lonely upbringing on a desert world. What I... would you like to know what I find interesting?"
Well, uh, sure. Go ahead.
"I find it nice that this young girl did triumph despite her surroundings. Finding peace and holding onto hope, eventually finding friends and finding your place, accomplishing amazing feats, the entire journey itself paints a good picture, doesn't it?"
...I guess so, sure.
"That is what it means to be a Jedi. To believe in the power of others, to believe in the good, in the balance and harmony of all things and to commune with them is where a Jedi gets their strength. Even for her alone, to understand that our universe is connected, that all life is connected and can create so much is profound. A story like that, a person like that proves to me the benefit of the Jedi teachings. I find that inspirational, to be honest."
Well. This has gone... exactly the opposite of the way I thought it would.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Barro. Is there anything I can do or say that might help?"
I have an idea. Let's watch these movies together, all three of Disney's new Star Wars movies, how about that?
"That sounds like it might be fun, but also very long. Could we break it up a bit, maybe take it one film at a time?"
Absolutely. We'll start with Episode 7 tomorrow and continue over the next couple days, sound good?
"Sounds good. Should we invite the others to join us?"
Sure, we'll all have movie night this week. And then you can tell us what you really think.
"I would be most happy to do so. Question."
Yes?
"When we're done, an we watch The Office? I've heard very good things and I really enjoy documentary-style storytelling. It makes you feel more involved, you know?"
Yeah, fine, when we're done.
"Thank you."
Uh huh.
That's quite an interesting twist.
Now I want to see what this Jedi Master thinks of the Office. I mean, it is a bit like Star Wars. A young farmboy from an unusual background, part of a weird religion, wants to be important and become a Master of the Office... or at least, Assistant Master. However, he is constantly thwarted by Darth Jim, a Sith who seeks only to bring out the anger in our protagonist.
5197062
Assistant to* the Regional Master. And despite the lack of a tag, this blog and a lot of the others are happening in Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship. Specifically, this during the Negotiator chapters. Oh we could do the whole Office with Star Wars characters
Jar Jar Malone
C-3Pam
Darth Jima Halperton, the Golden Faced
Wise Regional Master Mai-Kells Cott
Princess Angela
Co-Princess Oscar Martinez
Andyartoo-dee Bernard
Stan "Stanley" Solo
CreedBacca
LanDarrell Calrissian
Phyllis as Yoda... and Santa Claus
With David Wallace as Emperor Walpatine and Jan Levinson as Janba the Hutt. Dwight's cousin Mose as Mosa Fett.
I gotta love Mai-Kells Cott most of all.