Werewolves on Wheels (1971) · 7:49pm Oct 17th, 2019
Today I was at a thrift store. I'm not quite sure why I was there. It just seemed to be that I ended up there. Anyway, I was going through the pants looking for loose change when all of a sudden I saw a man. He was wearing a shirt that said Nantucket's Finest.
I asked him if he was the man from Nantucket. He told me he was. I asked him if what I'd heard about him was true. It was then he looked down sighed a little sadly and walked away.
I found out from an employee that he'd lost a lot in a divorce. It happens sometimes. One day you've got limericks about you, the next you are getting bothered by a guy with a pair of slacks on his head and some googly eyed glasses asking you questions. It's a tough break.
I think he bought a pair of overalls and said something about moving to Leads. I wish him all the best.
For me however there is a happy ending to this adventure. Okay it's not related but, a VA by the name of Brian Random read one of my stories on Youtube with the help of some other VA's. They did a really nice job! So, check out the fruits of their labor here:
You know the 1970s were noted as a decade of change. It was a turbulent time. You had tons of political scandals, wars, unrest. Okay basically it was like every other decade but it had bell bottoms, shoes with goldfish in the heels and shag carpeting and I don't just mean on the floor. But to be fair there was a lot of change going on. Like say you were in a biker gang and you just happened to visit a satanic temple, eat some bread, drink some wine and pass out. You might be going through some changes yourself. Like say into a werewolf.
Werewolves on Wheels is the movie that asks the question, "What happens when bikers stop getting rowdy and start getting hairy?" Okay it doesn't ask that. Come to think of it this movie has a whole lot of not much going on in it. Seriously not a whole lot happens after the temple scene.
The movie goes like this. The biker gang rides around in the desert. They stop some place, drink beer, mess around doing dopey stuff, then one or two of them get separated and they get killed by the werewolves. The next morning the bikers wake up go "Where did (insert name or names here) go?" A search occurs they find the body or bodies and then they move on and repeat the cycle. It is the cycle of the biker wolf of the west.
Towards the end we do finally get a werewolf riding a motorcycle as its chased by the other bikers who are pretty ticked off and are looking for a little revenge. In the end though there isn't really any sort of revenge to be had and in a slightly better way is reminiscent of a movie like Manos The Hands of Fate.
Now the movie isn't a total dog. That's not to say it's good but there are some okay things about it. The acting isn't terrible. Stephen Oliver and Gene Shane (credited as Deuce Berry) are solid. Billy Gray is funny as Pill in the one scene he gets. If you don't know who that is he was the kid in The Day the Earth Stood Still and was on the classic TV show Father Knows Best. So he had some chops.
The real problem with this movie is that not a whole lot happens with this biker gang. If anything they pretty much just goof off and die until it's time to role credits. A little drama or more fighting or something could have really spiced up the movie. As it stand though really the most notable thing about the movie is its title.
The Stats:
6 dead bodies
2 breasts I think (film quality wasn't so hot at times)
1 dead cat
throat ripping
werewolf flambe
stupid biker tricks
Gratuitous flocks of birds
1 satanic cult complete with robes and nonsense chanting
Werewolf bike riding
Fist Fu
Kiss Fu
Drunken shenanigans Fu
Shout outs:
Gene Shane as Deuce Berry as Tarot the mystic card reading member of the gang who knows something is wrong and says things like, "That was no accident. Something is controlling the vibes.
Stephen Oliver as Adam the leader of the gang who looks the part as much as he can.
Billy Gray as Pill for his used car salesman sketch.
Owen Orr as Mouse for the line, "Mouse is gonna get your cheese girl!"
Congrats on your read. It was a great story.
I think I saw part of it years ago when I was a kid. I remember it being really boring. Or it might have been another horror movie about bikers that wander into a satanic cult.
What we really needed, was Werewolves on Wheels... in Space.
5141362
Thanks! Also it probably was this one. There was a period of time this movie made the late night TV rounds. You're right though it's not exactly action packed. Though I did laugh at the overly long satanic cult "speaking in tongues" part.
5141395
That almost reminds me of a script I was doing a few years back when those versus movies were popular fodder.
5141633
Werewolves on motorcycles vs Vampires on ATVs?
5141708
Nah it was Biker Bitches vs. Werehogs.
This sounds like a real howler!
5143181
I guess you could say the movie was a ... real dog!