Hi, again. · 2:35am Oct 10th, 2019
Hello friends.
Gosh, how many of you are even still with me or care. Not many, I would assume.
My last blog post was wow. I'm doing a lot better now. Thank you guys, all of you, for your support. I love you so much for it.
I just wanted to say a few things.
First, I have had several stories that were previously pulled from publication republished. They should be showing up shortly all through the posting timeline since they used to be up and then I pulled them for personal reasons, none of which matter now.
Second, this is probably the last I will every post on this website. I have maxe so many wonderful friends and loved every second here. This was my lifeline, my sanity, for so long. Now, though, I'm ready to move on. If you want to keep in contact, my new home is as faerytold on ao3 and buckelyandbabbage on tumblr.
Second and a half, I have so many people to thank. Merc the Jerk for decidely not ever, not once, living up to his name anx being my first real welcome all those years ago, and of course everyone after. Mono, Swan Song, Kinsley, Olden Brony, RarityEQM, Ice Star, The Decendent and oh my god so many others i couldnt possibly hope to name you all.
If you'll let me, I'll wax sentimental in this paragraph. See, when I found ponies, it was just because it was a pop culture fad and i was hoping from one thing to the next. Then my mind but manageble depression that had been on the edges of my awareness since i was fifteen came out in full force. This show, this site, this fandom made me feel happy and safe. So i kept it. For years I kept it. I adored it. I still do, guys, its a wonderful place. But then i found a new obsession and as much as that show had the potential to be a happy place, it ended up being a pit of dispair. From the moment i watched it in October of 2016 it started me on a downward spiral. I picked it one night because I was already in a bit of a low place. Ponies and other kids stuff normally makes me feel better, so why wont this? Instead, it allowed me to drop deeper and deeper into my feelings. The disordered eating id always toyed with was really, really there. I lost about 50 lbs in like 5 months became i wouldnt eat. I hated everything and just wanted to be gone. I graduated college but I wasnt happy. I got a job and I didnt care. My doc put me on meds, but all they really did was make me gain weight. I quit, I got fat, and then I stopped the meds.
And during some of that time, I remebered this place. I came back for a short spell and loved everything. But then i stopped again. I dont remember why, but it was okay.
Im okay now. Ive got a good, stable state job. I get insurance in a couple months. I actually enjoy living and am writing again, albeit not for ponies.
I think Im done writing for ponies. My attention has, rather swiftly, gone from fantasy and escaping to real world stuff. Because I want to be in the real world, and engaged with it, and ive never done that with fantasy. I know some people can, but i am not one of those people.
So I'm writing again, and im feeling good, and i have an approved plan to be healthy and do well and.
I really just want to say thank you. God, im crying writing this. Thank you all, so, so, so much. I love you. Truly. From the bottom of my heart.
I wont post again, probably. I know ill check back in from time to time. I know I want to leave this account for everyone who likes my stories. I might even take a whim and read some. And I'll probably check up for the next couple of days anyway.
I do want to welcome, even encourage, you guys to feel free to talk to me. On my tumblr as buckelyandbabbage and on my ao3 as faerytold. Where ever. I even have a discord but i dont want to post it publically.
Thank you guys. For everything.
Thank you for the time you spent here ❤️
I've been wondering where you've been, Star! I'm glad to hear you're doing better. I wish you the best with your new stories and in your career. I do hope you'll stop by from time to time and I'll try to say hello on your Tumbler. Take care and be well! And thank you for your stories and for just being so nice.
Happy trails in your future endeavors.
Thank you for the stories! Take care and be well! Thank you again.
Good luck to you man. I'm sure you'll do awesome in every endeavor you touch
I'm glad you're doing well. We talked a long time ago, and every once in awhile you pop into my mind. I just re-read Finding Sweetie, that early story of yours that, although showing its age, somehow remains one of my favorites. Take care, and I wish you all the best.