No Regrets - The regretful fate of one of my proudest stories.

So, another little blog post I thought to post since my return to this site. I've already made a previous blog about an upcoming story I've been working on, (and don't worry, I'm absolutely still working on that and have just hit the 200,000 word mark) but my mind has since drifted to what was probably the best story I ever posted to this site: No Regrets.

Looking back at the chapters I posted, I feel a genuine sense of pride at how much of it turned out. That's why I also feel rather saddened by the fact that I left the story to die, but I also don't think I could ever, ever go back to it and finish it off. Firstly, my current fic, (T.H.E.) is taking precedence over everything. To even think of spreading my writing to another story when I'm so adamant in making it the best I possibly can, and also the fact it'll probably reach the 500k mark, would be madness. Not to mention, the mindset I have compared with when I was writing No Regrets is rather different, and I honestly don't think I could continue the story in a natural way. Also, I simply don't have the inclination to. That's just how it is.

But, I also feel somewhat cruel for having left the story at such a point without ever bringing to its conclusion, an ending which, I'll be honest, I was immensely proud of when I first came up with it. So, for anyone who feels so inclined, I've decided to share what my plans would have been for the story had I continued it.

So, A WARNING! Only read ahead if you wish to have my entire plans for No Regrets spoiled for you. If you wish to keep your own predictions as your own personal canon, I completely understand. As such, I'd like for others to tag their comments about these things specifically with spoiler tags.

Ready?

Okay. Here we go.

When we last left off, Twilight and Applejack were about to go on a trip. Therein lies my own failure, because, as it turns out... I didn't really have a plan for this trip. Most would expect Twilight to share her feelings and Applejack reciprocate them, but actually, that wasn't the plan at all. They'd share some fun times together, Applejack would be incredibly grateful, they'd hug under a glorious fireworks display, but... Twilight wouldn't reveal her feelings. After Applejack let down every emotional wall, pouring her heart, her hopes, her dreams out, Twilight simply couldn't do it. So they part ways, and that's that. Except...

Twilight can't let the experience go. It was the time of her life. It made her happier than she'd ever been, and Applejack had expressed her gratitude too, so, logically, she set up another trip, just the two of them. Celestia, feeling that something might be amiss, wants to intervene but feels as though she should give her prodigy space, lest she smother her. So Twilight invites Applejack a short while after and... she's okay with it. Somewhat surprised that Twilight would organise something so soon, and also dealing with the extra work on the farm, but still obliges. That trip ends with Twilight still unable to express her feelings. And so, this repeats a number of times. Gradually, Applejack becomes less appreciative and more worn down by these constant excursions, becoming more distant from Twi, growing confused, feeling oppressed, unable to internalise the fact that the mare who once gave her boundless hope was now almost a nuisance. All the while, Big Mac is disapproving, and AJ becomes increasingly tempermental.

Twilight shows up again at Sweet Apple Acres after her message saw no reply. She knocks on the door, for Applejack to answer, tired and emotionally drained. Twilight suggests yet another trip, at which point Applejack loses her cool. She chastises Twilight for taking time out of her life, explaining the increased workload on the farm, and that Twilight should step away for a while. Twilight, having placed so much hope on these trips, bursts into tears, finally expressing her true feelings, that she loves Applejack with all her heart, that she wants to be together, that she can't stand it any longer, and she's sorry for not having the gall to say so until now. Applejack responds with... anger. She's furious, every word that Big Mac said of Twilight taking advantage of her coming to the forefront of her mind. She doesn't feel the same way. She doesn't love Twilight. Big Mac comes onto the scene, having heard everything, furious at Twilight. Applejack storms off into the night, rain battering down, ordering for neither of them to follow her, tears streaming down her face. Twilight tries to follow but it hit in the eye and told to go home. Twilight does as asked, and spends the night wallowing in unbearable misery, her every hope dashed. It couldn't get any worse, right?

Rainbow Dash rushes to Canterlot with urgent news. Twilight doesn't believe her. She's still in a dream world. But Rainbow Dash insists. It really is true. Applejack was found dead early that morning, having been mauled to death by timber wolves. Twilight rushes to Sweet Apple Acres, still disbelieving, only for Big Mac and Applebloom to stand in her way. Mac comes close to throttling her, but his sorrow holds him back. Twilight is barred from coming to Applejack's funeral. The princess's world has come crashing down even harder than she could've ever imagined.

The next day, Celestia finds Twilight scurrying about the archives, looking somewhat joyful. Turns out, Twilight is searching for time travel spells to go back in time and save Applejack! But... that's impossible. Celestia tells her of this, that fate is fate and such things cannot be undone. Twilight won't accept this, at first. She couldn't possibly fail her friends, but... Celestia is right. Twilight must do as her duty as an immortal alicorn dictates and accept the death of her friend. But Twilight can't accept it. She can't even believe it to be true. As the funeral proceedings take place, Twilight is alone in her room, cradling the photo that was taken at the Gala. Applejack is gone. Forever. This is her destiny.

Twilight spends some time with her friends as they all try to reconcile Applejack's death. Twilight turns to Celestia, this time, admitting that she's not ready to act of her own volition as a princess, and vows to follow Celestia exactly, taking every word she says as the gospel. Celestia, despite having pined for the days when Twilight would look up to her as the ultimate authority figure, is utterly shaken by this, instead wishing that Twilight would grow independent, as in her current state, she has become emotionally vacant, merely playing the part. Celestia is pushed to a point that she cannot overcome, plagued by guilt. She decides to do something drastic.

It's a while later when Celestia comes down with a sickness, one that is sure to end her life within a couple years. The whole of Equestria is mortified, Twilight just as much so, but there seems to be no clear explanation as to how she even came down with a sickness in the first place. That.. is because it is the work of Celestia herself, and Luna is the only one who knows, but has been forbidden to tell. What Celestia has decided, though it may seem mad, is that Twilight's happiness means more than anything. As such, she cannot remain, for Twilight would forever hold onto her every word rather than live for herself. Celestia decides to die for this cause, even with Equestria on the line, such is her love for her surrogate daughter. Not long before she passes away, Twilight says, "I promise to make you proud." Celestia grabs Twilight's hoof, shakes her head with tears in her eyes and says, "No, Twilight. Don'tpromise me that. You've already made me proud enough. Don't do anything else for my sake after I'm gone. Promise me!" And so, Celestia dies of her own volition.

Twilight lives out the next few decades, finding worth in spending time with her friends, offering charity to the Apple family, regardless of the fact that they still shun her. She does her best at running Equestria, putting her past behind her, but still her love for Applejack burns bright. She has a plan. She lives through the passing of each of her other friends, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity... and says goodbye to Spike as he officially makes himself part of the Dragon clan, having found himself a wife. She records as much of her happy memories through photographs and diary entries, secretly practicing a certain flying maneuver from one of the towers, sometimes seen disappearing before reappearing and landing with grace. Until, that is, she is finally ready.

Twilight makes her maneuver and disappears, reappearing in the distant past, the night of Applejack's death. She's practiced it many times now, and knows exactly what to do. She finds Applejack beaten and bloodied in the forest and chases away the timber wolves. But Applejack is on the edge of death and cannot be saved. Twilight explains this, using all of her magic to keep Applejack alive and ease her suffering for as long as possible. Applejack is in tears, having felt awful at her earlier outburst. It's then that Twilight reveals the truth, that she's from many decades in the future, long after Applejack has died. Applejack is torn apart by this news, wracked with terror, but Twilight has something to calm her. It's a book, one with photographs taking place of many years, detailing the future Applejack would otherwise never get to see. She shows her Applebloom as a grandmother, Big Mac and Fluttershy as parents and grandparents, and the rest of their friends and the eventful lives they lived, reading it much like a bedtime story, using the last of the time they have together. Then finally, Applejack accepts her fate, stating that so long as things play out as Twilight has shown, she has no regrets. As a reward, she allows Twilight to kiss her, regardless of the fact she doesn't reciprocate those feelings. And then she dies peacefully and painlessly.

Back to the present, Luna hears word from a frantic guard, wailing and wallowing. He claims Twilight Sparkle is dead. Sure enough, upon inspection, Luna finds her underneath one of the tallest towers, having allowed herself to fall headfirst. Her skull is split open and blood clots her mane, but Luna ignores all that. She smiles, feeling an immense, overpowering happiness for her friend. She was able to see one of the most beautiful sights she would ever see in her life.

Twilight was smiling.

And there it is. Everything. Absolutely everything I had come up with for No Regrets. And while it may seem such a shame to merely summarise these ideas in a brief blog post when there is such potential for an entire story... I'm afraid that ship has sailed. It simply wasn't ever going to happen. I'm sorry. I truly am. I wish I could've given this to you.

But... it's not all doom and gloom. My time spent writing gave me time to improve my skills, and while I cancelled many a story, I believe they all had to die so that my current fic could live. After all these years, I finally found a story that I believe I can do justice beyond all others, one that I could never give up on no matter how hard I try. (See previous blog for more info) And believe it or not, I honestly think it'll be more emotionally impactful and heart-rending than No Regrets could've ever been. (I really mean that. Buckle the f**k up and prepare to cry!) I can hardly wait to show it to you all. But I look back fondly on my time with No Regrets - my favourite story that I have posted here - as one of a series of great learning experiences. After all, isn't that what life ultimately is?

Thanks to all the people who followed No Regrets and gave me support. It was not in vain, believe me. I hope this blog has reached at least one person who feels glad to have come across it. Back to writing...

Now
are
you
a
king?

Or
a
fool?