A Strange Peace

So! What do you do when you feel inadequate? When everything around you feels subpar and out of place? How do you react? How you endure it? Ignore it, confront it, maybe shame it? No.

It's just a story, but it's also a competitor. And your own piecrs are a representating figment of you as a person. Or so "they" say? What attitude do you take as an author when bound by emotions that say one thing, but see something else entirely?

It's a crazy world out there and all you can do ie be your own best person. My opinions don't facilitate my work. My work does not dictate who I am or who I will become. My stories are my ideas. Fleeting creative thoughts that come and go like a hemispheric flow of wind.

I am me. My story is just a story. Yet, why must it portray me as an individual? I guess and I question, and when it comes down to it. I am at peace outside of this fictional viewpoint. My mind is still at quarrels with the scene before me.

Peace? Shall I ever find it? Does anyone ever in their lifetime? Criticism keeps us on our toes. For perfection is but a limit that halts potential. Evolving is a continuous process. So how do I evolve pass all of this? The same plethora of doubt and restraint haunts me now as it did years long ago.

But I am at peace. Less than I had thought when I had deemed myself prepared to face this mental discourse. Yet still at a serenity that overcomes the doubt. Not with resistance, but with acceptance.

Every word, idea, punctuation, and time spent writing is a struggle to the author. A constant fight between a longing for being acknowledged and the fear of being forgotten. For the time we commit to our work is valuable to us. In a second it can feel like that time and effort can be denied and tread upon.

My thoughts? Are my thoughts. Overthinking? It's what I do. And that is how I creatively think.

I love writing. I love making a discussion. So why does it feel so disconnected these days between writer and reader? We all love this hobby and we would be better off with a little more consideration for one another.

I had these thoughts and made up my mind. I have to continue my old works and finish some of them. At the same token I want to enter more contests without fear of denial and loss. But that is something I have to afford to do without paranoia.

I overcome my fear through love and my love is limited by fear. For too much love for yourself can easily channel into pride arrogance and ignorance. I want to avoid looking like a snob. For there is someone out there who will always surpass me. I am not a master of my craft, but that should not deter me from writing and loving this hobby.

Through fear and love, I write. I work. I persevere. I write for me but also for you. Share some love today and write a little or give a friendly greeting or a story review.