Faffing stream of consciousness · 12:40am Apr 15th, 2019
Just a series of observations and quips I randomly threw at someone in chat. None of this is really meant to be taken seriously.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it became oversized and a final fantasy character wanted to ride it into the wilderness.
What's the difference between Mario and Sonic?
Sonic still occasionally puts out good games.
Purple is the most beautiful color. Socrates said so and after Aristotle, fuck it, we might as well just believe whatever Socrates said, better than nothing.
Hot and cold are a matter of perspective. Something is cold if your temperature is higher than it, and something is hot if you want to mate with it.
The difference between politicians and criminals is that politicians have to answer phones all day in their prison.
The difference between a drug dealer and a drug company is that a drug dealer usually tells people what their product is.
.50 BMG is the deadliest firearm caliber, because if all else fails you can beat someone to death with one.
The first wizard was Odin. The second one was Tesla. Both taught people to communicate over long distances and got ignored by rich people.
The main difference between designing a prison and a theme park is that in a prison, you need to allocate space for beds.
The difference between samurai and knights is that samurai were, in general, not white, and therefore capable of jumping.
The best way to wield a sword is to grab a gun and shoot the other guy, and then flourish over their corpse.
They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Someone ought to have told Archimedes.
Our world is so much more inclusive these days. Special ed, special olympics, special forces, it's great.
I've heard it said that you know you're dealing with insanity when parody is indistinguishable from sincerity. If only Machiavelli had realized his audience was insane.
I think I figured out why pro wrestlers acting villainous are called heels. As soon as Achilles started to understand heroism, someone shot him in his.
You want to know the difference between fake news and respectable mainstream reporting? So do I.
Mark Twain popularized the saying that the three types of lies are lies, damned lies, and statistics. He forgot proverbs.
Blood is only thicker than water under the right atmospheric pressures. Also, the original proverb had the opposite meaning.
Art exists because no one pays attention when you try to express something directly.
Fixating on celebrities is pretty silly. There are a lot more stars in the night sky than the day sky, but the sun's the only one close enough to keep you warm.
Everything's a symptom of something. This sentence is a symptom of frustration.
Some actors go into politics, but I feel like the reverse needs to be a trend. Political theater takes skill.
Actors and politicians are both people who pretend to care about the things they speak about.
The main difference between going to the hospital and getting robbed is that you might get remunerated if the robber gets caught.
Cynicism is a fun paradox. On the one hand, it's irrational; on the other hand, it's the natural result of applying empiricism to society.
Parents often say that folks without kids can't understand. It's true; taking care of children is the only way to truly experience abusing someone totally in your power.
Non-parents shouldn't worry too much, though; most parents don't pay enough attention to their own behavior to get anything out of it, anyway.
Love and hate really are interconnected; if you love someone, you'll probably hate whoever hurts them, starting with their parents and ending with yourself.
In Old Norse, the term 'thing' meant a cooperative assembly, and 'place' meant a regal palace for things to occur in and from which governance issued. I assume the terms changed meaning because cooperation went out of style at assemblies.
The main difference between Roman forums and Internet forums is that Roman forums had more drawings of dicks.
Love is an excellent, albeit temporary, diversion from self-loathing.
Manipulation is often thought of as a tool of evil. But it's just as often a reaction to idiocy.
You shouldn't use the word idiocy; the truth isn't that some people are smart and others are stupid. It's worse; some people care and some don't.
Human history is the darkest joke ever told.
The main difference between sadness and depression is attention span.
I love how this one has multiple readings, and each one is darker than the last. I also find it a fitting capstone to this whole affair.
That's a hot take if I've ever seen one
5044625
Hah! The whole blog is a hot take really, but yeah, I definitely went for the controversy there.
5044650
I'm curious why you feel like Mario hasn't had good games in a while, though
5044657
To be honest, it was a matter of repetition. Galaxy and the New Super Mario Bros. games didn't really appeal to me that much; I played them and got bored. Odyssey looks cool, so that might turn me around. Sonic games vary a lot in quality, but at least I remember each one distinctly (I can't seem to pick the NSMB games apart in my head) and I have positive memories about most of them. And I knew that was an uncommon/unpopular opinion so I thought it would be funny to drop that with zero preamble.
5044660
I actually kind of agree.
5044665
Excellent. We can be transgressive together.
.... F*** it, gonna react. I can somehow think of smartass answers to all of them.
Of course, this is not to be taken seriously.
5046257
This is the best possible thing that could come out of this blogpost.