MLP commentary S09E01 spoilers · 7:44am Apr 7th, 2019
"Longest period of harmony in recent years... "
... I'm reminded of a player of Dark Souls who after being told by Half-Breed that the paint world was full of peaceful creatures... when it's actually just as deadly as anywhere else in Dark Souls... Yeah.
With Discord's rampage. Sombra. Chrysalis. TIREK. Cozy Glow. Etc.
It feels a bit clinically insane that the princesses would say 'Longest period of harmony in recent years...' (Now I just need to wait for the hyenas to tear me to shreds for daring to say this.)
'There's been less and less for us to do.'
This has been, IMHO, the one true failing of MLP FiM.
In spite of running for nine years, the series never grew up. For a series like say, Barney, Teletubbies, or other series without any real continuity, or not expecting the audience to have really been watching the show from the beginning, that is fine, it is EXPECTED. Mr. Rodgers didn't NEED to 'grow up'. He was like a teacher, you leave his class room eventually and new students take the seats. Love or hate it, Harry Potter has as one its strong points, that it DID grow up with its audience! Love or hate it, one of Sonic Adventure's strong points was showing the characters aren't frozen in time. Sonic Adventure 2 had Maria's death as Shadow's main motivation, and whether people are worth saving is an argument Amy makes to snap Shadow back to reality. Can you imagine the earlier Sonic games, even with their limit sprite work, even dealing with topics like that?
And in spite of the CMC getting their cutie marks, Twilight becoming an Alicorn, the reveal that AJ and Pinkie Pie were distantly related, the series never tried to grow up ITSELF, taking on mature topics as it audience grew up.
The show not growing up itself would have been fine... if they DIDN'T have a solid continuity with a beginning and end with each season changing things up...
So yeah, this ultimate was FiM's greatest failing.
It had more depth and world building than any MLP story before it... but that was the one spot it failed. I don't blame the creators. They did more with a half-hour toy commercial and gave it a soul than most ever even TRY to. But the simple reality of what the network would allow with the frozen target audience, in spite of the audience actually growing up... Yeah. It's honestly makes me a little sad.
It kinda reminds me of Dwarf Fortress.
You create these huge fantasy worlds from nothing, named characters with lives, goals, and dying. With actions that span centuries. Thousands of years. Civilizations cease to exist. Species die out.
But... there's no progress. Every world has the same level of technologically, sociology, spirituality, etc, that they did when they're first created.
Just as civilizations in Dwarf Fortress can grow, but not mature, MLP:FiM has grown, but not matured.
'There's been less and less for us to do.' This line is incredibly laughable. Countries full of free willed individuals don't run themselves. They don't become less because the mane six stop some super villains and clean up some local social problems.
As Q said, "The trial never ends."
And with how they've had to adapt to Luna's return and restore her court... having them BOTH suddenly retire feels... gimmicky. Such a transition of power being gradual would make so much more sense.
And if they were in a position where 'she's the best we've got' and 'better than nothing' (like Fox leading the Smashers again Galeem since they don't have General Pepper who'd be much better at leading army), I could see this working. But taking two completely competent leaders who are VERY GOOD at keeping the country running smoothly... and replacing them with ponies who are MUCH BETTER SUITED in facing down villains and dealing with local social problems then dancing the geopolitical waltz!!!
Reminds me of a fanfic that had the most badass character lead the group... when all I could think of was "the person who kicks the most butt is in charge, isn't that how VILLAINS decide who is in charge?!"
*checks time*
I'm only at the 1:38 mark.
... This is gonna be a LOOOOOOOOOONG season premiere.
And Discord wants his kingdom back now the two who overthrew him are stepping down... I guess Celly and Lulu still aren't interested in giving it back to him.
*takes breather*
I wonder if they're going to revise the opening after the premiere. Oh I hope so.
Seriously, it feels strangely out of character for Luna to be so eager to step down... I'll be honest... it feels downright ALIEN!
Uh... so now the mane six have their NORMAL JOBS... and BEING SCHOOL TEACHERS... AND RUNNING A FRIGGIN' COUNTRY?!
Excuse me... that was the characters screaming as the suspension of disbelief bridge they were crossing broke.
3:28
I have to be 100% honest with you guys. Call me a moron, call me a pig, spit on me and never look back. But I sincerely feel like the characters were all handed memos by the writers about how EVERYONE but Twilight Sparkle is totally on board with this from step one, and seeing absolutely, positively nothing wrong with this in anyway what so ever.
4:26
Twilight gives the actually INTELLIGENT solution for gradual transition of power... but it's played off as her just being yellow about rising to the challenge. Makes me wish I drank!
4:41
FIGHTING VILLAINS AND GETTING RESTAURANT OWNERS TO RESIST UNIFORMITY IS NOT THE SAME THING AS RUNNING A COUNTRY!!!!
I don't believe it. I sincerely don't believe it.
I feel like grabbing the screen and screaming at it.
And my blood pressure keeping going up.
4:53 THE FRIENDSHIP JOURNAL IS NOT THE SAME THING AS POLITICS! NOR IT IS ABOUT ECONOMICS!
I feel like my brain hurts with every sentence said by the characters.
5:04 and they play it off that the ONLY THING holding back Twilight from balancing groups political and social and economics with conflicting goals, is her self confidence... she's spent her life STUDYING MAGIC, SCIENCE, NOT POLITICS!
I sincerely feel bad for the writers, who had to stitch this storyline together and force it into this shambling mockery of life. Where's the salt? Let me put some on its lips and send it back to its grave!
5:33
DISCORD! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!!
7:01
Again. Fighting evil is not the same thing as ruling a country.
7:20
And Chrysalis is still the kooky loony she was in the last episode we saw her. So they decided to go with that instead giving her back the competent schemer she was the other times we've seen her.
7:42
Uh, didn't the last closing shot we have of Cozy Glow show her basically going 'all according to plan' when she was locked up in Tartarus? Or are we supposed to forget that ever happened, like the writers in the Pokemon Anime wanted us to forget the huge story arc with the GS ball with no pay-off ever happened (no, seriously, they DID want the audience to forget, instead fans kept talking about it for years, until the writers finally fessed up!)
7:55
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I'm confused, how did he raise Sombra from the dead?
I see they got another voice actor for Sombra this time around. A little weird to be honest. Given how even his few tiny lines of dialogue were the kind you don't forget just because he DID have so few! If that makes sense.
I just want to say... In fiction land, many writers forget that villains have different goals and motives, and being egotistical thugs, they aren't about to bow down to another bully without thinking every moment about they're going to topple them.
Nice to see Sombra isn't the type to simply bow down. Though did Grogar resurrect him, leave him, and then teleport him to his lair just for dramatic effect or something?
9:12
Of course he's real.
I consider it a miracle that the Power Ponies, the Headless Horse, and Shadow Spade haven't been retconned to being real too!
Okay... Grogar is a popular story book character, a figure in pop culture... like Nightmare Moon... I know it's meant to show she's young and ignorant, but it feels odd that Cozy Glow has no idea who he is.
And previously fans had suggested her completely illogical scheme to remove all magic from Equestria had something to do with freeing Grogar... now we learn it was unrelated... Making her scheme be the epitome of nonsensical.
Also. Grogar looked a hell of a lot more scary in G1. Bite me.
Also, this Gorgar is chaotic evil in his policies rather than lawful evil. MEH!
11:55 (33 minutes to go).
"I suggest nothing, I demand." Okay, that is actually impressive.
12:27
So is Grogar going to save Sombra's ass at the last possible moment when the Dues Ex Machina comes crashing down on his head? Or are we going to be expected to forget that too?
12:57
Okay, Tirek flicking away Cozy Glow feels strangely out of character. Would have been better if Chrysalis had done it and Tirek had simply not objected.
IT WAS FUN, seeing them as kindred spirits, die hard sociopaths united in their lust for power, and Cozy Glow proud to be the Bastard Understudy.
12:57 There is something very wrong when I actually DREAD returning to interactions with the characters we've gotten to know for eight seasons and have spent most of that time coming to care about the out come in the narrative.
I also hate that in spite of this being an obvious reboot of the narrative, we are left again with no clue as to what Sombra's origin is!
14:11
I actually feeling like spinning forward as Dave Lister from Red Dwarf would say. Just so I can get past this stupid 'reverse psychology' scene... when Starlight ****ING MAKES A GOOD POINT about Starlight being 'left in charge' of what was supposed to be Twilight's house!
Of course... now the only thing saving it from suffering the same fate as the Castle of Two Sister is its location (but that's no promise) and the Cutie Mark Map.
Ugh.
Through the mire and sludge we go!
*pushes play*
14:25
It feels like punishment that the show that inspired me so has the opening of it's final season with this... MIGRAINE!
Sigh.
*pushes play*
14:50
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again. Twilight says correctly that the two aren't the same thing, but it's again treated as Twilight just suffering nerves!
I'd almost be happy that we get a nice subversion with reverse psychology... if not for it being treated as Twilight SHOULD HAVE just listened to the reverse psychology!
Again, there is something very wrong that I feel relief at seeing the tyrannical 1-D Sauron Wannabe (seriously, Sauron DID have personality than this guy), terrorizing a peaceful kingdom once liberated from his tyranny rather than continue the "of course you can run the country, all you need is confidence" storyline!
Nice to see the Crystal Ponies no longer fear Sombra, and don't even react in the slightest to seeing him... ya know... COME BACK FROM THE DEAD!
And again, we're stuck with the nonsense that tyrants are a one-man show, and can rule a country with no supporters or intelligent minds, and can rule a country with nothing but mindless automatons.
Dictators NEED a swarm of lesser bastards to stay in power! Even an army of brainwashed slaves with all the brain-power of a cruise missile can't run logistics for you!
Yet no one is going to call him an idiot for this not making any sense because it's not 'hip' to like with Chrysalis.
Oh. And the mane six completely forgot. Celestia sending the messages to Twilight is the ONLY REASON that Discord DIDN'T WIN! AGH!
*RETCON BUNGLE!* PUTS A STAMP ON THE SEASON 9 BINGO CARD!
And someone eyes did make a point, why the hell does Sombra bother with the helmets if he can just mind control eye people?
The final season, and we finally see someone sending off a message to Spike. Better late than never.
And why isn't Cadence trying that giant force field that kept Sombra at bay before? I meant, it MIGHT NOT work now that Sombra is at his prime, but she should at least TRY!
And again, isn't it wonderful how no one is really reacting that much to somebody, COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD?!
"Kneel before Sombra."
Okay, that is actually a funny reference in a dark moment. Sun Tzu would be amused given he had Sombra just shout one reference after another to signify his lack of personality.
And given how powerful Flurry Heart is... I'm surprised she didn't blast him to atoms.
Rarity finally points out how Sombra is supposed to be dead.
16:56
DISCORD YOU IDIOT!
THIS ISN'T TIME FOR ONE OF YOUR BARBS!
Celly and Lulu could bring some decent firepower to the table!
Let them help for once dammit, there's gonna be plenty of brainwashed ponies to keep at bay to go around!
Ooh! Midnight! Time for cake! Save me cake!
... Since when is Discord scared of Sombra? WHAT is Sombra to make the spirit of Chaos afraid to face him and LET FLUTTERSHY FACE THE DANGER?!!?!?
What would have actually been interesting?
Discord telling Fluttershy to come along on a nice safe protected cruise in the chaos realm somewhere... and Fluttershy naturally refuses... and asks politely for Discord to help... only... Discord is too scared to for whatever reason, and wishes her goodluck with a hug and vanishes. Setting for Discord later facing himself and getting himself to fly in and help face Sombra, inspired by Fluttershy having so often gotten over her own fears even if she can never truly conquer them!
THAT WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN INTERESTING!
17:21
"My family is in danger, I'm not taking any chances."
FOR FUDGE SAKE! THEN ASK THE PRINCESSES TO HELP IF YOU'RE NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES!
BLBLLBLBLLBLLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLLBLBLBLBLBLLBLBLB!
...
SOrry, my brain broke down for a minute there.
ANd what the Hell is up with Discord getting to get them to stack the deck against themselves?!
Rainbow Dash, "She's got a point."
THEN ASK THE PRINCESSES YOU MORON! They're still two magic power houses! AND THEY DEFEATED SOMBRA BEFORE TOO! At his prime! THey could offer a lot of friggin' tactical know how since they KNOW HOW SOMBRA FIGHTS!
I know the writers were likely given an absurdly small amount of time to write all this, and were working under absurd restrictions, but I can still hate the story while still feeling compassion for the writers forced to pen this slop!
Uh.... Why is Starlight using a giant rule book? Wasn't the last season premiere about... You know what? FORGET IT!!! UGH! PST!
Wasn't it a giant plot point before about the tree needing the elements to live? Even if they'd already gotten rid of the Plunder Vines that were attacking it and spreading?
In the previous seasons it was at least lamp shaded.
I guess that's another thing we're supposed to forget at this point.
Okay, Flurry Heart tried to blast off Sombra's head... kudos for actually trying. But is he immune or does he just have a barrier?
18:33
Geeze... the Mane Six sure got to the throne room insanely easy...
Ya know in the Cutie Mark Remake timeline, we at least saw that Sombra is a proactive conquerer. Here he becomes Orcus on his throne.
Geeze... girls, how close do you need to be to blast Sombra with the love and harmony death ray?
And... Sombra hits them with his fear illusions.
And... of course, Twilight's greatest fear is the bad guy's winning and Twilight failing... how much depth of character and personality this shows.
When Davis' greatest desire in 02 was beating the villain, it showed character growth! (showing he'd learned to let go of Kari.)
Here it feels standard issue.
How the Hell did Twilight know what Daybreaker even looks like? How did Sombra?
Even if Starlight had explained it all to her, and Sombra pick it from her brain, the exact image would not the same!!!!
And we don't see what the fears of the others even are. Oy.
On the other hand, that this is going so by the numbers, reminds me of Diamond Tiara's defeat early on in the Crusaders of the Lost Mark episode.
Wait... The Crystal Heart blast DIDN'T explode Sombra this time? WTF? Not even damaging him slightly? Huh?
So Grogar didn't even try to save Sombra after all? WTF?
This makes Sombra's presence in the premiere feel kinda pointless.
So the girls don't even wonder how Sombra came back from the dead, and don't wonder how it could easily happen again and again until he wins?
Free hug. Bingo chart season 9 in the center.
The Elements of Harmony shattered... DID THE FRIGGIN' WRITERS FORGET NIGHTMARE MOON DID THE EXACT SAME THING AT THE START OF THE SHOW?! It shouldn't be an unfixable problem!!!!
And how did Sombra ... I thought... And given how much the girls are resistant to killing stuff before... that they just killed Sombra, this time not by proxy with the crystal ponies... but this time by their own hooves... it feels... mechanical since they refused to put down other villains, or EVEN DISCUSS how it's different!
At least when Bud Flood/The Liquidator, had his fake out death in Darkwing Duck, our hero was rightfully uncomfortable at someone (even a bad person who just poisoned the waters of all the bottle water companies in the city during a heat wave sans his own with stuff that MELTED A PERSON, the guy was a monster, but DW STILL felt uncomfortable about the psycho having just met his end!) having just died!
*cue happy music*
Bad sign that the parts with the villains were the best parts.
Did not like this episode.
I was seriously confused why Grogar didn't bring back Sombra at the end. Wasn't the whole point to show Sombra he had to play along? And it's not like ad-hoc elements of harmony blast #2 is going to kill him any more than elements of harmony blast #1.
On the notion of the series not 'growing up' there is something related to that that seems to drive the plot of this episode and Twilight specifically. It's also something you misinterpreted about her greatest fear.
See, that's wrong. Twilight's greatest fear wasn't the villains winning, not exactly anyway, but that by the villains winning and Equestria falling, she would have let Celestia down. Twilight's biggest weakness is that she still holds Celestia on so high a pedestal that she'll go along with anything Celestia tells her, even if she herself thinks it's a bad idea. The closest they've ever actually come to trying to get her past that is when she had to tell Celestia she's a bad actress (which is a rather stupid idea itself that someone who's been playing politics for over 1000 years and is still in power can't act their way out of a paper bag, but I digress). So when Celestia says she's dropping the shackles of government on Twilight, of course Twi's gonna go along with it, even to the point of having a mental breakdown. And she resisted calling in Celly and Luna to help with Sombra for the same reason; calling them in would be an admission of failure, and that would mean, to her anyway, that'd she'd failed Celestia. I will agree though, that is is rather stupid that the rest of the mane six and everyone else are going along with, and even encouraging this transfer of power. ESPECIALLY the mane 6 since it would be yet another division of their own personal lives, and unlike Twi, most of them don't have a Starlight to dump things on. So yeah, while Twilight going along with the Sisters' retirement plan is stupid...it's also in character for her since she hasn't gotten past her Celestia worship, something I'm still crossing fingers and hoping they actually address before series end, especially if they really are going to end the series with Twilight on the throne.
Also, on Sombra, I know this is just a review of episode one, but as you'll see the the whole point of Sombra here is to BE defeated. He's the moron villain who rejects the offer to join the Legion of Doom because he still thinks he can take on the Justice League alone despite getting pasted by them before, so Luthor(Grogar) smiles and nods, sits back and lets them go take them on again...and makes it an example to the remaining villains for WHY they should join the Legion of Doom.
The Tree of Harmony the source of the Elements power shattered, not just the Elements. The real bogus part is that should be impossible or else Discord would have destroyed it a long time ago.
5040200
Uh, the whole point of the series premiere is that the girls themselves were the true elements of harmony.
5040204
I was just more putting up a counterpoint to that point, what you said renders both of the points moot. Must admit it would have been more consistant if they used Rainbow Power again.
The fuck are you smoking my dude?
You hear that sound? It's your credibility disappearing. From around this point on I literally cannot take anything you say seriously because you have no fucking idea what you're talking about, and are just shitposting because you hate the show.
Stopped in a few hours.
Ditto
To save time I'm just gonna say "ditto" for all of these here.
5040339
No offense what with what you're saying I'm feeling the same way.
Your anger i entertaining to read.