• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Elu


Just a guy writing fanfics. I also draw and make music, which I try to include in my stories as well. They/them.

More Blog Posts238

  • 54 weeks
    100 000 words written this year so far

    I decided to calculate how much I've managed to write since 1st of January 2023 until today, 17th of April 2023, and apparently I have written more than 100 000 words. That is a decently-sized novel even if it's currently about 2/3rds of only one of my stories, and I'm not done yet. It honestly feels so good to be back into writing after barely doing anything about it for, what was it, two

    Read More

    0 comments · 233 views
  • 59 weeks
    Important Announcement

    Long story short, I have decided to unpublish my earlier stories because I'm not comfortable with them. That's the gist of it.

    Read More

    11 comments · 688 views
  • 61 weeks
    Life Update

    It's been a while since one of these.

    To those who wish to know, I'm doing as well as I can be considering, well, everything. Overall, stuff still sucks, but I'm managing. I'm still making discoveries about myself - recently I found out I may have some form of ADHD, which honestly explains so damn much.

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    1 comments · 184 views
  • 62 weeks
    Apple is shit, never buy from them

    EDIT: I managed to fix it, so it appears Apple hasn't yet fucked me over completely. However, considering that iPhones did get locked without the ability to activate them for over a year now (here's the link for context), I won't bank on it not happening to even older devices like mine.

    Now, the old content of this blog post:

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    2 comments · 198 views
  • 63 weeks
    Concerning my Harry Potter fanfics

    In short, I will not be continuing them. They are, as of the time I post this blog post, deleted. Why? Because I don't feel comfortable making Harry Potter content anymore.

    Now for the long explanation.

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    25 comments · 550 views
Jan
29th
2019

Creativity problems · 10:37pm Jan 29th, 2019

Recently, I have found it difficult to write and generally concentrate on work. I would often spend a lot of time browsing through my games and not finding anything to play. At the same time, I want to write but can't really force myself to sit down and go with it. Don't get me wrong, I can and will write for as long as I'm mentally and physically able to. I love writing. I think it's one of my biggest passions in life. But... something is missing.

Maybe it's the mood. Do any of you have any orchestral music? Preferably no quick songs and definitely no songs written in major. I love dark songs, they give me just the right mood. Even better if there are no singers, only instruments. And if the song is longer than ten minutes, it's even better.

Though, I feel it's not just the mood. No idea what it could else be, to be honest. If any of you have some advice, I'll appreciate it.


Also, on a side but somewhat relevant note, I still haven't gotten a girlfriend. It would massively help me if I had one, but the problems are... There are two main problems. The first one is crappy girls around the area. The second is myself.

Going deeper into the second problem, I should say that I have no idea how to talk with girls that I want to date. I mean, I can just be honest and speak things directly and clearly, but that's kinda... awkward. Then, I'm not sure girls would even like me. At least, not the kind of girls I want. I'm not aiming for the top or anything, but there are still issues.

I guess I feel a bit emotionally starved. I don't think I've felt any strong emotion for a long while now. I have thoughts, I have fears, I have dislikes, but... I've neither genuinely laughed nor cried in a very long time. I'm sure I can still feel emotions, but it all feels... Dull? Maybe lifeless? Generic? I can't explain it. I need to feel something more. Not artificially via drugs and whatnot, that won't work and never works.

As I said, a loving partner would help a lot, but... I have no idea how or when I would get one. Other people make it look easy, and it is indeed easy for them. Me? I'm not sure.

I want to be a good person. As good as my own morals tell me, I suppose. And I definitely want to be good for my partner.

And yet, I'm not sure. Nothing is certain.

Report Elu · 187 views ·
Comments ( 6 )

Look up Adrian von Zeigler for a few like Requiem for the nameless dead or Two steps from hell. Otherwise music videos help a lot.

well i suggest just getting out and doing something different away from the house/apartment or where ever ya live and just do something you don't normally do but still like enough to do it. Typically works most of the time for me.

try something different than your usual,out of your comfort zone or something you didnt knew like traveling or a sport or a new hbby etc.

Elu

5005339
Easy to say, difficult to do. All things require money, and I don't earn that much even through Patreon.

5005364
Just as dangerous as it sounds - you can try to help some ..one, and see now this develop?

I've felt like this sometimes, the things you loved doing g or did for fun now seem duller. What I find helps out is to put down what ever your trying to do and find something out of the ordinary that you can work on. I think it happens because we get bored of our routines but idk honestly, doing something different for alittle while usually gets me back in the mood to do things.

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