Wise Cracker's Top Five Things That'll Never Happen on the Show: Inappropriate Name Edition.

I had some beer with my dinner tonight. Let's do this. Unless you're squeamish. In that case, skip this one right now.

Inappropriate pony names that'll never make it to the show.

Nr5. Flower Pot and Kettle Belle.

Two girls, one of whom is a weightlifter. Both are a very dark gray, but they keep calling each other black. Too inappropriate for the pc brigade.

I mean, a pony named 'Pot'? That'd never fly. Might get a little high with Treehugger, though.

Nr4. Mister Horseapple.

The fertilizer specialist of the Apple family. You may recall I once called my (now defunct) pet animation project 'Project Horseapple.' Reason was that the Blender Foundation names its projects after fruit, and I had/have cripplingly low self-esteem. If you don't know what a horseapple is, look it up.

I suppose he should share the spot with his lovely wife, Golden Shower. Hey, fertilizer is a very important aspect of agriculture, don't knock it.

Nr.3. Missus Dingleberry

It sounds like a sweet fruit, doesn't it? I thought it was, too. Then George Carlin brought up the word as a joke, and I had to look up its meaning. I kinda wish I hadn't. And here I thought the Japanese and Germans were creative in coming with words for things that really shouldn't have a name.

Nr.2. Cauda

A changeling name (and possibly a joke I'm using in the Pharynx fic edit sometime). It means 'tail,' much like all the other names changelings have being body parts. Why is it inappropriate? Just look up the other Latin word for 'tail'. You'll know it when you see it.

"Do you have any idea how many 'Tails' we have running around in the Hive right now?"
-"Certainly one less that usual with you here, Pharynx."

And finally...

Nr.1: Stick in the Mud.

Oh, but that's neither a pony name nor anything remotely related to inappropriateness, Cracker. Really?

I'm surely not the first person to point this out, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point it out, regardless.

Maude Pie was named after a mud pie. She is currently dating a stick enthusiast. In the event that they manage to breed, well...

"Technically, I am not a stick in the mud. I am, however, the result of a stick going into the mud."

You can't tell me the writers didn't know exactly what they were doing with that one.

So there, random brainfart resulting from a glass of beer. Let me know if the dose needs to be heightened or increased in frequency.

Cracker out.