Why Is Mars So Awesome? · 8:17pm Sep 16th, 2018
Why Is Mars So Awesome?
If you are considering leaving planet Earth and settling on my home planet of Mars, here are some small facts about the planet that will help you to make an informed decision.
1. We have no crime. We have evolved past that.
2. We don't have any leaders to speak of. We have evolved past the need for them. That is, besides me. I am the Queen of the planet due to an interesting misadventure I had while traveling to the Kelperian System where I somehow bought it for five cents off of a traveling planet dealer. This technically made me the owner of the planet and by extension made me its ruler. But everyone else on the planet pretty much does whatever they want.
3. We have Mars golf which is like mini golf but a lot cooler because it is on Mars.
4. Our Mars global anthem is a metal rock ballad which commands respect from all who hear it.
5. We don't deal with the weather. We have controlled it for thousands of years.
6. There's only heat when we want it. We have controlled the weather for a long time.
7. We have no tornadoes because we have complete control over the weather.
8. All of the best artist, writers, filmmakers, voice actors, cartoonists, animators, and other creative people live on Mars.
9. Mars television is the best in the multiverse.
10. We have no war because we have evolved past that.
Mars truly is an awesome planet. Feel free to visit or stay long term. We are always happy to have visitors from all dimensions, multiple universes, multiple timelines, and all other areas of the multiverse.
Mars is red. Red is awesome.
The creator made Earth to be good, he made Mars to be great.
4938617 I agree. Red is one of my favorite colors. XD
4938622 This is very true.
yush, i want to be a to be a Martian
4938636 Hurray! Everyone is welcome to come and live on Mars. :)
i am filled with doubt concerning your claims, having read the biographies of John Carter and his aquaintances
4938645 Mars has gravity though. And it also has an atmosphere.
4938646 That was a propaganda piece put out by the inhabitants of the planet Venus to try to convince people to live on their planet instead.
I'm earthbound for the moment :3
4938649 Carson Napier's biographies painted Venus as possibly worse, actually. Sure, they have oceans, but they also have a lot more savage tribes than Mars does
I mean, Napier was trying to go to Mars first, but was thrown off course and crashed on Venus instead
4938651 I understand. If you ever get a chance to visit Mars, we will be happy to have you on our humble planet.
4938656 The Venusians added that part to make people think they were being fair. But it was really just a propaganda piece to discourage people from visiting Mars.
Our tourism went down 45% after the books were released. T^T
4938658
The welcome is most appreciated ^_^
4938659 plus the fact a cloudless day on Venus equals INSTANT BURNING DEATH
4938676 Yay!
4938681 They always leave that small detail out of their tourism commercials. <_<
4938794 Mars is way better
except for those octopus guys that tried to invade Earth, but i'm sure they're being carefully watched now
Is this legend there with ya?
4938823 Those octopus dudes weren't from Mars. They invaded us to begin with. Then they pretended to be Martians and invaded Earth. T^T
4938837 As a matter of fact, he is. He wrote our national anthem.
4938943
Now I defiantly need to go to Mars!!! Can you send me there with you master?
4938981 Sure! I will pick you up whenever you are ready to go. XD
4938793
:J
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