--Run

Here he comes, the plume of dust rising over the red, rocky hills like smoke. Is it smoke? He can’t be sure.
It could be smoke, but that’s nothing new either.
It’ll work, this time.
He crouches behind a pillar, ragged and worn by age and weather and explosives; he has made his stand here many times before. He has made it many more times in many other places all across the desert, so at least he isn’t getting predictable, exactly.
The cloud of— yes, it is dust, this time— draws nearer. He can see, in the middle of the cloud, a faint speck of blue.
It’ll work this time.
His fingers tickle the knot, just pulling on the rope. Above, over the road, a rock. Red as anything else in this Heaven-forsaken land. Sometimes he wonders if this really is Hell.
It would explain why he can’t leave, but not the mail-order catalogues.
The dust is within a half-mile, now. Save the theology and theory for later. Now is the hunt.
It’ll work this time.
It’ll work this time.
He pulls the knot, letting the rope fall freely as the quarry is about to pass beneath. It will crush the thing utterly, never mind eating it so long as it’s gone. He wants it gone.
Instead, the rock swings like a pendulum, away from him. The bird runs past, unharried. He stares after the plume of dust. At least this time, the rock hadn’t swung directly at him, he thought as the sky above him went dark. That had just been bad physics.
That was the last thought through his head before the boulder smashed him into the dirt, killing him instantly.
He sighed. Pushed the boulder up, away. Pulled his broken body out of the crater. Amusingly pancake-shaped, this time, then? That might be an important datapoint. He hadn’t seen a pattern in them yet, but give it time. He struck himself against a cliff, popped back to normal.
He supposed he could’ve run from the boulder, but what would it have done? Experience and experimental evidence had taught him that it was best simply to accept the price of a failed plan.
Wile E. Coyote, Super-Genius, hauled himself back to aching, wobbling legs, and turned to walk home.
It'll work next time.

Comments

[Coyote de La Mancha]

That was awesome.

(Granted, I’m biased, WEC, SG is one of my fave characters, but still: much fun.)