• Member Since 16th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 14th, 2022

The Narwhal Assassin


Professional Shut-In, Armchair Orator, History Meme Fanatic, and Universal Annoyance. I argue about politics on the Internet to distract myself from the wreck that is my life.

More Blog Posts350

  • 296 weeks
    D I O

    My name is Dio Brando. I'm 120 years old. My house is was at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, but is now in a nice mansion in Cairo, and I am not married. I work as the soon-to-be king of the world, and I get home every day by 8 AM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I eat a lot of bread. I'm in bed by 11 AM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm

    Read More

    1 comments · 335 views
  • 310 weeks
    Hey, Guys

    Not dead. Wish I was, but that’s besides the point :twilightsmile:
    So, guess who graduated high school. I was feeling euphoric, but now I’m very melancholy.

    But, no, this isn’t a grand return. I made the decision to leave, and I’m sticking to it. I just feel that you all deserved something of a check-in after such a momentous event.

    2 comments · 299 views
  • 328 weeks
    Johnny Test

    To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Johnny Test. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of genetics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Dookie's cynical outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Nietzschean literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff;

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    9 comments · 684 views
  • 329 weeks
    HAPPY NEW YEAR

    HAPPY NEW YEAR

    3 comments · 364 views
  • 330 weeks
    Let's Revisit This

    https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/703868/i-dont-think-so
    Love: I guess I did find that
    Marriage: I'm 17, so...no
    Health: I've lost a lot of weight this year

    So...I guess it was accurate after all!

    2 comments · 332 views
Aug
19th
2018

D I O · 4:14am Aug 19th, 2018

My name is Dio Brando. I'm 120 years old. My house is was at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, but is now in a nice mansion in Cairo, and I am not married. I work as the soon-to-be king of the world, and I get home every day by 8 AM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I eat a lot of bread. I'm in bed by 11 AM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm maiden's blood and doing about twenty minutes of poses before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until evening. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the evening. I was told that my Stand was the most powerful in the world. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very powerful life. I take care not to trouble myself with any Joestars, except when I'm sure I'll win, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

Report The Narwhal Assassin · 335 views ·
Comments ( 1 )

Watching Jojo rn.

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