Nico-Stone Just Saw Slender Man! (MILD SPOILERS) · 5:05am Aug 16th, 2018
Because horror movies are great for depression! 
I'm not the biggest horror fan, but after a couple crappy days I decided to treat myself to the first Hollywood adaption of that well-dressed whatever-he-is, Slender Man. In short, it wasn't great. Bummer.
The plot: Four girls watch an online video which summons the faceless one. He then proceeds to drive them insane. That's about it.
Some scares were pretty clichéd, some were uninspired, and some seemed to be good ideas on paper but when you actually rolled cameras they looked dumb. Prime example of the latter, there's a scene where a girl's stomach suddenly inflates as if pregnant, followed by Slender Man's tentacles bursting out of her. Cool idea in theory, but cheesy in execution. I wanted to laugh. Also, because of the real-life Slender Man incidents, there was pressure to release a PG-13 version and cut out a lot of gore. Scenes from the trailers which I was waiting for never came up.
On a side note, my local theater has a frequent projector problem where the movies are darker than they should be. There were parts where I could barely tell what was happening. I missed several jump scares for that reason. I know they were there because the soundtrack did the music stings and the characters ran away screaming. What did they see? Who knows.
All in all, I don't recommend this theatrical version. Surely they'll have an improved Unrated Cut out in a few months. Watch that one if you're interested. At least it made me feel better for a while with its silliness 
The thing I don't like from the majority of horror movies is that the antagonists win.
If you want a good Slender Man movie I'd recommend Always Watching: A Marble Hornets Story. It's found Footage, and a friend and I ended up watching it. We both loved it. Just thought I'd put that out there.
I wanted this to be good. I wanted to see Slender Man on the big screen in a really cool way.....
But fuck me, right?
Hollywood wanted to make money, so they made a film based of something from the internet people cared about a few years ago that isn't really relevant anymore without putting any care into actually making sure its good. Why dose this sort of thing keep sounding more and more familiar?
It's Slender-man. I already knew it was going to be shit.
Yeah, heard this movie SUCKED.
And its pretty clear why, its just a cash grab with no care, no thought, and no respect. Throw all that into a blender, you got yourself a crappy movie that people are HATING you for.