Aug
15th
2018
Someone is reading the Spiders and Magic series · 3:45pm Aug 15th, 2018
Spiders and Magic Live Reading Playlist
Well, check it out. Of all the stories to read, he's starting with the first. I personally have grown to hate the first story. It was my first crossover fanfic EVER and IT SHOWS. The plot is all over the place. I repeat a lot of phrases to the point where it grows maddening. This is exactly why I wrote the 'This Is How It Should Have Ended' for it, and a second chapter is on the way. Anyway, check out the channel. He's read nineteen chapters so far.
Here's a link to his fimfiction profile. Legendbringer
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Maximus_Reborn · 726 views
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I do know the person who is doing the reading: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/221859/Legendbringer
4920421
Thanks. Posting a link now.
If we're to be honest, considering that this is your first story, it isn't that horrible. Yeah, the plot is ALL over the place, plot points feel forgotten, and there are bits here that are making me want to skewer my eyeballs out...Compared to a lot of other peoples first attempts, it's a lot better than most. The grammar is actually legedable, you don't fall into any of the common traps (like forgetting the enter button when a person speaks), and while I can tell you a lot of things to improve on (Wich I will get to whne I review it in completion at the end. You'll not Alchemystudent has been hard at work doing this piece by piece) there is something that a lot of other first attempts kind of lack.
A genuine heart of a story. It's like it's just scratching at the surface. To be honest, unlike the other two crossovers where I was busying banging my head and begging the pain to stop, this...kind of makes me want to see how you improved on the other stories.
Weird for you to say you hate the first story, I never found too many things wrong with it. The only complaint I had was how differently time passed in both Marvel and Equestria, and maybe the Gwen Stacy thing was discussed too many times, but it was otherwise a great story to read. But I also understand your frustrations as would just about anyone.
Anyway I’ll have to check this out myself soon.
While I can see that you have improved with the series I never thought the first one was "bad". Not perfect but still so good that that is the one that got me to fall in love with this series in the first place. I'm a sucker for origin stories/humble beginnings and that is what that was for me.
Hey Max, hope the rewriting is going well. I only got one real request for your new remastered story, and that's that you please write Venom right this time. I don't know how long you've been a Spiderman fan for, but Venom has always been a anti hero since the 80s when I was a kid, and he absolutely hates when innocents are threatened and would never let them be harmed, with the only exception being Spiderman, but that's because Venom sees Peter as a another street thug needing of killing. I like how you had the synbiote bond with the Prince, but even then the symbiote itself would have never worked together with Discord and the other villains as he has called the likes of Green Goblin or Electro insane in the comics, and the small chance he would join with the promise of killing Spiderman would be completely thrown out the window when he discovered Carnage was also on the team, a person Venom arguably hates more than Spiderman as at least Spiderman saves others and Carange kills anyone he wants for fun. It disgusts the symbiote. Realistically if this crossover story were to happen, the Venom symbiote would have gone to Peter and the Mane 6 and demand they let him join their team and fight back against the villains, not sit by and let innocent people/ponies die or get hurt as they did. It would've been badass to see Venom taking on Carnage or all of the other Spiderman villains like Electro and Green Goblin alone in a final battle while Peter and the Mane 6 took on the others. I don't know, it just irks me that people have this idea that Venom is a bloodthirsty monster who will kill anyone in his way when in reality that only applies to the Ultimate Version of Venom from Earth 1610, and the original Venom from Earth 616 is a morally confused anti hero who does what he considers to be the right thing, which is kill criminals. Honestly, the ONLY reason he's considered a villain and not a full blown anti hero is because of his desire to kill Spiderman. In situations where they have fought in the comics, Venom has stopped their fight multiple times because of innocents put in danger and one time even straight up walked up to and with Spiderman in a park to request to fight on a remote island, when he was asked why he said and I quote "We like to avoid innocent bloodshed when we can". This is why Carnage considers Venom weak, he thinks he doesn't have the stomach for cold blooded murder. Carnage threw a baby out a window and Venom jumped out to save it, Venom also saw when he was leaving New York Carnage on the news killing people in Central Park and Venom immediately forgot about his escape idea, web swung all the way to central park, and when confronting Carnage he flew at him in a rage and said "We will take a gallon of your blood for every single innocents drop you've spilled!" The Spiderman 3 version of Venom was horrible and didn't capture his character or conflicted morals at all, something the upcoming Venom movie is doing and for that I'm grateful.
This can also apply to your version of Deadpool. Crazy as he is, his morals are just like Venom. I have no doubt that he would lead the police on a wild goose chase for fun as he's done it in the comics before, but when he has he has always made it a point to say that he will not fire back as they are simply doing their jobs and he is having fun. And he sure as hell has never done it in a populated area, always choosing to do it in the desert. Deadpool has gone serious, quiet, and calculating in the comics whenever a innocent person or persons were threatened or killed. One time a child he was visiting was killed and molested by a doctor, and Deadpool made it his mission to find him and torture him to death. Another scenario I can think of is when he was trying to find his evil counterpart and his voices told him to think of something that he would never do as the chances were the Evil Deadpool would do whatever it was he was thinking about. After thinking for a second Deadpools eyes went wide and said that Evil DP was going to kill a kid. Yes, Deadpool has harmed innocent people in the comics, but the farthest he has gone was shoot someone in the knee as a distraction but he made it a point to get the man medical attention as he wouldn't let him go paralyzed. Other times it's been punches or slaps for slapstick humor but that's it. And it's always been men, never woman or children. Similar to the Venom movie, Deadpool 2 really captured Deadpools character and his morals, with him stating twice he wouldn't kill a kid and co stably argue with Colossus that he killing criminals is the right thing to do, even though it means getting his hands dirty
Long ass explanation, but I think I've got my point across. Overall, everything else was great, wish you luck 👍