Fic Reviews: That's It? · 3:04pm May 25th, 2018
Okay, so getting back to reviewing things, for good or for ill. Now, Brady Bunch noticed a trend of mine not too long ago. I review good fic, then badfic, then good fic and so forth. Now, here I am reviewing a fic with over 1,000 likes. Am I subverting my trend? Simply put... No. More after the break.
Now the fic in question I'm reviewing?
[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]
Yes, this piece, which I'll admit Rage Reviews did a piece on a while back (Sadly I can't link you to said group because of site rules) and now I'm taking a stab at it.
Now, right from the get-go, the summary has some problems.
In the midst of her conflict with Starlight Glimmer, Twilight is shown the reason why her enemy became the way she is. She is shown her past, and the terrible tragedy that caused her to become the deadly foe she is today.
However, rather than evoke sympathy in the princess, Starlight's motivations actually cause her to have a more cynical response.
Oh sure, it's grammatically sound, and summarizes the idea of the story quite well. The problem is, the idea of the story itself. In short terms: Twilight gets to be the mouthpiece of a raving, angry 'fans' who completely miss the point of this show, even if it's right in the title.
Okay, maybe not so short terms I guess. But I digress.
"Do you understand now, princess? Do you see why I do what I do?"
But Twilight stood there, looking utterly unfazed by Starlight's words. Instead, the young princess turned from her enemy and towards the still-crying younger version of her. Then, she looked back to the older Starlight, then back and forth several times over. And all while she was doing this, Starlight looked more than a little confused, having clearly expected some other kind of reaction. When Twilight did finally speak up, her expression and tone was, for lack of a better word, incredulous.
"...Is that it?"
Yes, grand idea to belittle the crying filly who holds the fabric of space and time in her hooves, and I should point out, with one tiny movement, said piece of fabric could probably be ripped up, incinerated, or something else. Also, who is it who belittles crying fillies? I'm honestly not sure on this aspect, educate me. But I'll probably be safe in saying that it isn't Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. Let me repeat that. Princess of Friendship.
Twilight should realize that emotions aren't exactly what you'd call rational by any means, hardly. She should look at herself, really. Lesson Zero or a Canterlot Wedding anyone? I'd probably cite the MLP Movie as well, if we were at that point in the timeline. Even if someone's crying about whatever might seem a mite trival to you, you should probably extend a hoof as it were, and hear them out and try to help them, not insult them every step of the way! Let me give you a example here.
Say someone's had a bad break-up. A few of us have been there. (I'd make a sarcastic joke about how we're bronies, do any of us actually get girlfriends or boyfriends but I know for a fact that's not true and kinda demeaning here) Really, back to my main point. If someone were going through this type of situation, you'd probably not say: "At least you don't have ADIS or something like that!" as it wouldn't help except to benefit your own ego. Actually, I was hoping to save this for later in the piece, but... Linkara, can I borrow you?
"Look here, princess! Don't you dare look down on what I've gone through!"
Looking to her, Twilight raised an eyebrow.
"What you've gone through? Starlight...your friend moved away. That's it."
At this point, Twilight raised a hoof right at Starlight herself before continuing.
"I'll admit, when you and I came into conflict, I was thinking and thinking of all the things that could have occurred to you to make you this way. But this? I have to say...I am immensely disappointed."
Of all the things Starlight expected to happen to her during this confrontation with the princess, this was most definitely not one of them. But, she hadn't the chance to respond, as Twilight kept on going.
"You know, as terrible as many of my enemies have been, I've at least understood why they did what they did. Chrysalis? She had an entire race to provide for and feed. Discord? He's the embodiment of chaos, so it's natural for him to do what he does. Sombra? Brought up isolated and often in pain because of where he came from."
Okay, here we have Twilight basically comparing the backstories of these characters (I'll let Sombra slide, as we know very little about him in the show really.) and saying you have no right to be sad compared to them!
WRONG!
This is clearly something Starlight's been having issues with, hell she even built a whole ideology up around it! Again, Twilight and her title. It's her job to solve friendship problems, which Starlight is clearly having. It's not her job to insult them. She's kind and compassionate, understanding. Not... whatever this is.
Sad thing is, at the time, quite a few readers said that this... this piece of crap was BETTER THAN CANON!
Excuse me while I facepalm massively for the next few minutes.
Okay, good. Continuing on.
Starlight's shock remained, and it was a feeling very much reflected in her voice as she stammered.
"But...but...but you're the princess of friendship. Don't you see how terrible a thing it is that happened to me?"
Raising a hoof to her forehead, Twilight let out a sigh.
"Yes...you lost touch with your friend. And I'm sorry that happened to you."
Lowering her hoof, she narrowed her eyes yet again.
"But don't you think you took your problem a bit out-of-proportion? I know it was sad that you lost your friend, but...what you did to everypony else, those at the village and beyond...they didn't deserve what you did just because of...of this!"
Story even slightly acknowledges this fact that Twilight's massively out of character here, and quietly sweeps it under the rug. Cute, real cute.
The least Twilight could have done is apologize, and say that she was so sorry about being so inconsiderate towards Starlight's childhood, but does she? What do you think readers? If your answer is anything other than nope, you'd be wrong.
"You...you dare say that to me?!"
Twilight gave a single, serious nod.
"I do. And do you know why? Because what you did...they're not the actions of somepony who tried to fight against an injustice."
The princess drew closer, her expression more steely than before.
"They're the actions...of a child. A child who never learned how to grow up!"
There's only one thing to say here.
And this is where I step out, you can pretty much figure out how this fic goes from here, it only detoriates in quality. Mighty unprofessional of me, I admit that, to leave this review as it is, but I don't really need to say much more when the story speaks for itself. Actually, I can't even call this a story, it's just an angry blog post of the author's whinings disguised as a story. Blogs exist for a reason, Jay. Ponies are not your mouthpieces, man. I'm willing to lay down bets that if this was written today, this fic wouldn't have recieved as good as a reception as it did, now that more about both Sunburst himself, and Starlight's parents have been revealed.
So, how do I rate this piece of crap? Well, two ways.
First, 0/10
Secondly, in another way.
In the immortal words of Porky the Pig: "That's all, folks!"
I think this whole story was ment to pander to the anti Starlight Glimmer groups of the fandom.
I cannot wait to see how you handle her in Wild Access.
Wow...
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Either Jay really hated Starlight that much, or you're probably right and it was made to both do that, and end up in the featured box. It's all in the wording of this 'fic', really. I say fic with no small amount of sarcasm.
I remember this story. It came out about a few hours or a day after said final.
Though Brick, I must say your review here is quite unfair. You yourself are quite bias when it comes to Starlight.
Must I remind you of a fic/ blog rant you posted some time ago ?
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And I admitted that fact and altered the fic hugely so it was less of an angry blog post and more of an actual story. None of that, though, still doesn't excuse how crappy this story is, and the points I made do make sense you have to admit. Plus, I was commenting on Twilight's behavior here, not Starlight's. Her actions are the story's main problem.
Oh, goodness. This went south quickly. At first, I thought it'd be just another short comedy story like what The Abyss writes every now and then. But after the flaws were pointed out, I could see your reasoning.
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Yes, your points does make sense and I'll even say they are actually valid.
I never said anything about Starlight's behaviour. I was just pointing out that you get rather touchy when people bad mouth her.
And I do understand why you get upset, cause I do also acknowledge there are some really pitiful hit pieces about her. Though I hardly found this one that offensive.
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Point taken. And we all have our differences in what we find offensive I admit. (Trust me, you really should have seen the worst fic I've ever reviewed, which was blatantly homophobic.)
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Was it "Love, Heartbreak and the Forbidden Fruit"? If so, yes I saw it. It was so baffling I hurt myself when I facepalm.
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Yeah, it was. Still can't believe that story's even allowed on this site with how blatantly offensive it is.
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That was the moment in the text I said:
Surprised I didn't do it sooner in hindsight really.
question, does anyone have the original fic archived?