Mother F***** · 11:31pm May 12th, 2018
You know what sucks; that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you believe in yourself, you still fail in the end.
That's just what happened to me today. See, I just retook the postal exam 473 in an attempt to raise my 73.90 score to at least 80. I did solo practice tests where I scored 91 and 85, and I thought that finally I would be able to get out of making chump change. Instead, I got a 73.40.
Not gonna lie, I went through a brief period of rage, frustration, and sadness.
I asked myself, 'Am I just doomed to fail?' I went through a two year program in college hoping for a great career, but because I didn't score high enough in one stupid class, I didn't get my degree. That sucked particularly because I went into class early to study for the make up test for weeks, and because I made a simple, honest mistake, I didn't pass. I did everything right, what I supposed to do, but it still wasn't enough.
'Course, I did manage to get a job with Franz Bakery but I got laid off due to reorganization. Once again, did everything right, still wasn't enough.
Oh, and I still haven't found a place yet, least my Dad and I are cool, but for fucks sake!
"Integrity like that will always be rewarded."
-Twilight Sparkle
................... Well where's my fucking reward.
But then again, Rocky said it best, "It ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you get hit and keep on going."
So in the end, I must soldier on. I must keep going on this journey no matter what the fucking devil throws at me. Because I know that one day I will be standing on top of my achievements looking down on that evil piss-head and flip him the bird.
So go ahead, throw your shit, your doubt, your fear, your frustration, whatever you got. Try and knock me down, but I'll make it one day, as my parents have, as my brother has, as all others who have come before me.
Thank you for taking the time to read my rants, it helps me I think.
I'm sorry that didn't turn out the way you wanted, buddy. But things will turn around. They always do. If there is no struggle, there are no heroes. Stay strong, my friend.