Can't think of a title · 6:37am May 5th, 2018
Well I'm back, figured I'd write another blog to explain the state of things. State of my life, so I apologize for dumping a lot of things right now, I just feel like typing this out.
Remember that IRL stuff I mentioned last blog? Well I've been looking for an apartment for a month and my dad has really been on my ass about getting a place, even though I pay his monthly rent of 400 dollars a month.
He really wants to sell the house and move to the South Hill, neighborhood where I live, and it's been getting to me. I'm going to places I'm not familiar with, burning gasoline, getting screwed over offices who don't keep their word about appointments or those who refuse to pick up the phone, all while working a graveyard job for chump change.
I keep saying to myself that I get where my dad's coming from, I know he cares, that he gets stressed out too much at times. The man has trouble relaxing. And whenever I say things to myself that involve me saying mean words to him, I feel ashamed of myself because I know better, but I still feel frustration and anger. It's tough being a son, especially when your old man can be hypocritical at times.
It also doesn't help that my mom's been gone for months because my parents broke up and she's Arizona, and they say they still care for each other and I try not to let it get to me, but it's not easy.
I also have a masturbation ( a word I can't bring myself to say so I type it) problem that I say I'm trying to get over, but with my stress, I think that's why I do it, or one of the reasons.
I've also been trying to find work at the post office or avista, but they won't give me a chance despite the fact I am an exceptional worker. I've been working in packaging at Cyrus o' Leary's for about two months and I already got employee of the month. My boss pulled me to the side to say he was impressed by how fast I got into the swing of things, that I show up on time, I don't call in sick, I work hard, and that felt good. I just want to earn a better living so I can afford a good place to live, be proud of the work I'm doing, and be able to afford the things I want: games, computer parts, movies, tv shows, nerd stuff, the works.
Actually got a bit teared up writing this, guess this is doing something.
My friends and my mom, tell me to keep my head up, that things will work out, and I know their right, but it is not easy. I know that's a common lesson told, but it really is true.
Anyway, if your still reading this, thanks for sticking around, I think this helps. Tomorrow, I'm going out again to look at apartments, at the request of my old man, so wish me luck I guess.
p.s. Sorry I haven't written anything for a while. I might try writing a new chapter when all this horseshit is done. Thanks for your patience.
Oh man. I'll be praying for you, buddy.
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Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.
Good luck Fennyo. I’m sure you’ll find an appartment. Take the time you need to settle things before you start writing again ok?
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You're welcome
Take courage, old friend. Life's trials pile on before the victory is won. Not to be trite, but such truly is the nature of things. “Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday," said Fulton Sheen. To relate it to the show, unless the Elements were shattered, they would not have been found in the Six. I have always found in my life that it is when I am at my most broken that I am about to have my greatest triumphs.