I struggle writing what I'm think

Alright. Here I am. Looking over my google doc. Reviewing.

I come to a realization: I suck at this writing thing. I have had to fucking rewrite some 90k words just for Act 1! I was happy with the end result of that specific part of this story but I'm almost at the point I'm basically fed up with myself.

I'm trying to get through this next chapter and continue with this arc in a meaningful goddamn way but every time I start to type its like... a whole paragraph then I can't do anymore. This is supremely frustrating. I want to put out good content, I want people to like it, too. But i'm having a terrible time making the story as interesting as it is functional.

Now, I am speaking in pretty fucking broad generalities here, especially since I have noticed my ability to foreshadow seems to be at least adequate, I think... Anyway the plan for this story is supposed to go in a certain direction. I have changed the plot a couple times and even characters to try and reach a specific point because I feel like it is the best way to make a completed piece of work. Now I reached this point when writing Act 1 as well. I follow my outline. Do what I need to to better support the story and then sit here and not enjoy it. I'm pretty sure my brain is just being a bitch but it sucks. I'm striving really really fucking hard to make this an objectively good piece of literature because I'm considering going a step beyond Fimfic.

That's a whole different can of worms but I digress.

The point is: I am struggling to put this world I have in my head to paper. Im struggling to make the relationships feel real and relevant when I'm writing them. And at this point I can't tell if I'm having trouble because the material itself is flawed or I have no personal experience to base this off of. Frankly this actually hurts me. Like pains me emotionally in a way I wasn't fucking ready for. And its distracting me to the point to where I feel like I can't write.

Anyway. Enough of that. Signing off until next time