DuckKing reviews MLP Part 3: Flutter-jerk the Larper · 9:52am Apr 8th, 2018
Before I begin, sorry that the last episode "review" the DuckKing made hasnt been properly riffed on yet. I had to wrap up some general business around the holidays. But now that this has been taken care of, lets go back to talk about this abomination of a reviewer
FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT
How insensitive is it if I now make a Harvey Weinstein sex joke here?
*Sighs* and I just cleaned my toilets today too, now they may get dirty again depending how much this ep makes me feel like puking.
Dude, no one wants to know what you are doing on the toilet. Also, are you genuinely puking regularly because of cartoons? No wonder you are as anorexic as you look
DUEL!!
I play "Basement dwelling troll" in atack mode and use my "Safe Space" field magic card, to make it immune against all genuine constructive criticism.
LIFE POINTS: 8000
Heh, I was right... Fluttershy doesn't seem to be able to knit too well (Just like I portrayed in Starfleet Season 5)
Boy, do I have to tell you about that one comic where it turns out she is the freaking grand master of knitting.
-No damage
Ha! I love the way Rarity is denied help from all those ponies, it kinda gets her back for BABY CAKES...
-No Damage
Except brain damage over the fact that this is something you are so gleeful about.
Just for fun, I'll throw my Starfleet Ponies into it. (Unable to help her)
So now I shall imagine Rarity approaching a bunch of alt right ponies?
Lightning: "I'm due for a major conference with Starfleet Generals, and tons of reports to review."
Lightning: After all, the final zebra solution doesn't come from its own.
Starla: "I have to teach Astrology at the Starfleet Accadmy today, and I have to take Shining Light (Her and Lightning's baby son) with me"
The baby by the way will die in six months, cause it turns out it was born with Zellweger Syndrome.
Buddy Rose: "I have to weed and fertilize my garden before it rains."
so you are going to poop all over the fields?
Artie: "I'm hosting a gathering at my gallery today."
Your patreon is not a gallery.
Rhymey:
"I'm due to work at my Cafe,
I'm sorry, but I'm too busy today."
Just sell it to Starbucks.
Dyno: "Sorry, Chica, we've just struck a new haul or ores.
Myte: "Si, we also have to reinforce the mine supports or the whole place could fall in."
The hardest part about that is believing that those two mexican stereotypes are actually doing work, considering how much of racist caricatures they already are.
"Clothes make the Pony" Rarity demonstrates her shallowness again. (You have to look a certain way to be accepted)
More like if you want to be taken serious to some degree, you should look the part. Which is not so wrong. People would take Trump even less serioous if he dressed up like a ballerina. Just look at yourself Mykan. People need to google you up and the first thing they see is you dressing up as the worse Super Sentai villain of all time. And you expect to be taken serious?
-200
LIFE POINTS: 8000 -----> 7800Fluttershy puts on the suit, and then tries to put on a RARITY act? Gag!
-500
LIFE POINTS: 7800 -----> 7300
Yeah, I would prefer it if she offered a bunch of Ducks, one voiced by David Tennant, to drown them in the ocean instead too. God that episode was funny.
"I think I need a new character"
Said some idiot at Marvel when they realized, they could make money by catering towards SJWs.
Oh, for crying out loud! That's all I need to make me sicker, and another reason I don't add too much characterism to characters in the first place. (Just keep it PLAIN and simple... ONE TRAIT and try to STICK WITH IT as much as you can) and a VALLEY GIRL STYLE?!! UUUUUUGGGH!!! (I'm not too fond of Valley girls, they're usually very snooty, snobbish, and often disrespectful)
-1000
Doesn't Tara Strong live in California, the birth place of the valley girl stereotype? And doesn't she act like one from time to time too? Just saying. Also, how dare someone have multiple layers to their personality. And how DARE someone to act in different manners, particularly when they obviously perform an act. Say, did oyu not want to become an actor, DuckKing? Lastly, this is less a valley girl as much as it is a valley hipster. Go with the time.
LIFE POINTS: 7300 -----> 6300
Oooh... a gothic pony.
to explain: DuckKing has a gothic fetish. Or rather he has a fetish for what he thinks counts as gothic, but really just boils down to the stereotype of the hot topic goth. How far does the gothic fetish go?
...he jerks off to Lucy Loud from Loud House. She is eight btw. He is 31.
Hmm... Fluttershy's gothic look, I like it... despite my objections to too many characteristics. I'll let this one slide.
-No Damage
Mykan: My hands pleasuring myself as i look at the screenshot of Emoshy are trying to reduce dthe pain I feel for this world, because a green guy did not put his sausage in some anorexic blond chick.
Yeah speaking of beastboy, you hate valley girls? What then about BB, who is essentially a Valley Boy, seeing how often he uses dude?
Uh-huh, just as I suspected... Fluttershy's lost her mind and actual character again, now where have I seen this before.... um... oh yes... PUTTING YOUR HOOF DOWN...
Just as usual, these moronic mules never reflect upon past lessons they learned in previous seasons, and repeat the same mistakes over, and over again.
True, there are similarities to Putting your Hoof down. This is what people call a recycled plot. You know, something you are very fond off, seeing how every Teen Titans fanfic you create is essentially just "The Beastboy is whinning about shit" show. But at the same time, I think there are some differences to putting your hoof down. For starters, Putting your Hoof down was sort of a mess because everything in it was kind of contrived. Everyone acting like an ass to Fluttershy, her being an extreme doormat to then meet Iron Will, her going so far as to insult two of her best friends in a very personal, emotionally hurtful manner? I can understand why some people don't like the episode, while I try to be more neutral.
Fake it till you make it by comparison... it is funnier. I like how Fluttershy actually tries to be asservative more or less on their own, but then also loses herself in the different roles. Roles that are so stereotypical and cartoony, they are hilarious.
See Lucy Loud Jerker, this is how you do a stereotype right. You take something obnoxious about it and make fun of the obnoxiousness. Not just let Dyno and Myte speak one or two worlds of incorrect spanish you got from reading google.
Also, when Rarity fires Fluttershy and we go through all three different personalities as just to highlight how far Flutters was gone? brilliant. This is the sort of cartoonish dementia I love to watch. I am just glad she did not decide to take on a serial killer persona.
Much as I enjoy how much their proving me right, and pounding their friendship lessons home, I still have to dock it for annoying me...
-500
LIFE POINTS: 6300 -----> 5800
How evil. A children cartoon trying to teach people about getting along and friendship. You are one of these people on the planet who would have hated Mr. Rogers.
Twilight just lost more points for forgetting PUTTING YOUR HOOF DOWN herself... (Despite she wasn't actually IN the episode, surely her friends would have told her this)
-200
LIFE POINTS: 5800 -----> 5600
At this point you are just grasping for straws. I mean, what if she did not know about it? You assume she was told, based on what? your head canon? the thing that does not apply to any reality anyway, cause in your head canon, starfleet exists?
Much as I don't like Fluttershy's OOC, I do approve of the way she shut the friends out the door (Like I would if I wasn't interested in what people had to say)
Only she did it with less tears or threw secretely a temper tantrum at a computer screen, while going for the permaban option.
-No Damage
Okay, the Terminating the Trio... Now Fluttershy has officially developed Pinkie Pie's ability to get someplace else quickly, as well as the change of costume.
Comedy gold. Not that you understand cartoon physics desite consuming nothing else but toddler targeted media.
So far she's adapted Rarity's persona, Pinkie's swiftness, the valley girl attitude, and the gothtaculer... WAY TOO MANY characteristics in one (thought I kinda like the goth)
Mykan: Now if you excuse me, I have to polish the rainbow rod, while thinking of Fluttershy telling me my life is meaningless.
... oh god, I just realized something. All the time his critics tell him his life is a dark place of nothingness and he is less worth than the dirt in the laundry? He got off on that.
Again, this why I don't like OVERDEVELOPING characters and giving them too many traits, it's leads to chaos and stupidity, as well as pure lameness for my preferences.
how was this overdeveloped? Fluttershy just acted based on three different archetypes to please three classes of customers, but then ended up being their most obnoxious representation. At the end she was still just sweet Fluttershy. Granted, Fluttershy is "no longer" like the wallflower she was for example in the very first episode of the show, where she acted like a puppy afraid to be kicked, but... well, it is not as if she had become Xena Warrior Princess over the course of eight seasons. At the core Fluttershy is still the same, sweet, caring pony she was always meant to be for this show.
really, i see the refusal to write any sort of emotional development for his characters when it comes to LucyJerker as simply a sign for him refusing to grow up. Most people as they grow older realize that the world isn't just black and white. They accept and want to understand people better this way, to make the world a better place. This guy just wants to see the world lobotomized and clearly cut out, so that he does not need to actually think for himself once in his life. Cause if the reviews he writes are any indication... he is not very smart. At least not smart enough to actually talk with others about any subject manner without talking how it makes him feel bad. Something only three year olds like to focus on mostly.
-1000
LIFE POINTS: 5600 -----> 4600
Question: how are the life points supposed to work? I don't mean like how the final score is meant to represent your opinion. I am talking more along the line of what sort of offense justifies taking away like 1000 life points at once, while others are taking away only 200 to 500?
I ask, because there really is no rhyme or reason to that. Sure, in YGO there is no rhyme or reason often times to how many LP you lose within one turn, but this is because your opponent uses random monsters who are randomly stronger compared to yours. Or cards with a defined amount of damage to cause the moment they are played. But this is not a card game for kids, which by now has become so utterly convoluted in its game mechanics, the MLP card game proved itself superior at least in terms of how playable it is. This is him doing a review. Set up a list of grievance. Like "they sing a song", loss of 400 points.
UGH!! And Even at the end... it's all good or all bad... but they can't make up their pony minds, not to mention Fluttershy STILL unleashed those hidden characteristics.
Development. You know, the word you hate.
BLAAAAAAAAARG!!
You know, if Doug Walker acts like this on camera, it is already considered by many to be pathetic. After all, he is a man in his thirties getting pissed utterly at a live action adaptation of the Junge Book, while simultaneously his media empire breaks down. But I argue in writen form it is even more pathetic, because you don't even get some sort of physical comedy to watch. Only someone proving to be really bad at writing an opinion piece in a coherent manner.
-1000
LIFE POINTS: 4600 -----> 3600
FINAL SCORE: 3600 (Not liking the episode)
FlutterHipster: Well, that is like your opinion...
Fluttersnob: I can't see why I should take serious the criticism of a person who wants to be an actor yet cant understand the very concept of acting and behaves like a raving madpony.
Emoshy: This review and the mock where as pointless as the entirety of the DuckKing staying on fimfiction to begin with. And by the way, stop looking up my butt, you creep.
to end on a bit more of a positive note, here my real opinion on the episode:
I thought "Fake it till you make it" was a pretty funny Fluttershy episode, that did not in any significant way really mark character development for her, but had still quite some things going for it. Particularly the rather cartoonish split personality thing when it came to her three identities. It was also nice to see the others trying to get her out of her bizarre craziness and Rarity showing being trully concerned about her friends well being. The part where she learns she called the racoons rodents and realizes immediately something is wrong with Fluttershy... it has something. On one hand it is funny, on the other hand, it highlights that Rarity really knows her friend. TVtropes will most likely call this "heartwarming" and put a pin in it because they do so for every small thing regarding this show.
However, while I think the episode was competent enough and gave us some fun new side characters (I really like the Valley Girl customer btw. nice color scheme) , compared ot last weeks episode, I thought the jokes were not as good.
It is a pretty average episode with Fluttershy having some adorable and some nasty moments. So... 5 out of ten alternate personas?
Anyway, like an incontinent grandmother, Mykan is going for leaks now. Guess i spend my spare time this month getting a few riffs out earlier. See ya.
NOOOO!!!! Don't tell him about the master of knitting comic!! You know he'll just use the moral as yet another excuse to not listen to anyone!
I'm just joking around. Really good riff :)
And you were wondering in the riff how the life point system works so here's Mykan's explenation
how can you be so sure that he jacks off to lucy loud?
Don't get me wrong, Im just askin!