DuckKing reviews MLP Part 5.1: The Leakening! · 8:53am Apr 16th, 2018
So, the DuckKing is “reviewing” episodes that have been leaked by the Russians. Which screws over my review scheme, cause I want to mock him, but I am also not going to spoil anything till the episodes aired. So over the next days, I mock his "reviews" and just post my regular reviews up on saturday and sunday.
Lets go for it now.
I'm going for it...
With the words of Shia LaIdiot: JUST DO IT!
these episodes are Leaked, and a bit out of order, so if you don't want spoilers... SCRAM!! You choose to read it anyway... Not my problem. (Just because I posted doesn't mean I MADE you read it)
The last thing is something he would fume about, if a riffer said it to him the moment he goes duckshit on a mock.
After they've officially aired, I'll remove the Spoiler Tags.
I watched this one before, but I'll watch it again to rant on it.
He really is the Mr. Enter of retarded MLP reviewers.
SURF AND OR TURF
LIFE POINTS: 8000
Hmm... well, the Crusaders DID get their cutiemarks for helping others, and it is what they love to do.
-No Damage
And you know, they do something that Starfleet doesn’t: Actually help others become better people.
Wow, and I thought Applejack was supposed to be HONEST. Still it's petty... so...
-No damage
Based on how I understood Applebloom, it was more that she had made up the part about AJ defeating the Stormking all by herself. Listening is not really something you can do. Also, you give points for being petty? Guess Slytherin would be your favorite house in Harry Potter then.
Glad to be a hypogryph festival! Oh, GAG!!! Much as I realize some people's ideals in self-respect and appreciating What you are... but this is too much and It sickens me anyway.
Says the guy who celebrates EACH FUCKING YEAR that he is a bacon loving, francophonic bastard, whose country sided with the brits during the war of Independence. Aka a Canadian.
Heck, that goes essentially for anyone celebrating something with self identity, being it in context to national pride or any form of sexuality, race or condition. What are you saying, Mykan? That Autism Awareness Day is a scam?
-500
LIFE POINTS: 8000 ----> 7500
Mykan: I hate it when others celebrate what they are. Now let me link you to my self celebrating videos on youtube.
*Sighs* Despite Twilight's research, the fact she's using it as an excuse to kick back and enjoy herself... she's annoying to me
-200
How dare someone have fun exploring a culture they had robbed only a movie ago. Wait… Give me another take: How dare someone actually do something I do not: Research something and have a good time while doing so?
LIFE POINTS: 7500 ----> 7300
Ah... my favortie kind of situation, having to choose between ONE or THE OTHER, but I usually prefer so IT CAN'T BE BOTH, and since this is so obviously NOT that...
-500
LIFE POINTS: 7300 ----> 6800
Mykan: everyone should only decide to be one thing and never change. I for example decided to never fall in love or go through puberty. And it did not mess me up psychologically. Now excuse me, while I jerk off to Lucy Loud.
On a similar note, does that mean "Sophie's choice" is his favorite comedy?
I like that ideal, get BOTH SIDES of the story before you judge, but if only everyone else would do so instead of jumping the gun!
Didn’t you just jump the gun on how awful MLP is before even watching it, while you celebrate any shit involving the Teen Titans, including TTGo to hell?
Just look at me,
31, unemployed, a virgin with rage, can’t even make a buck on youtube, denied the Holocaust, made fun of people for their sexual orientation and nation, looks like a broom dressed in the gayest Digimon Emperor Cosplay ever- shall I go on?
at least I'm watching the show despite I hate it.
Want a cookie for something most people who hate Steven Universe do, but not to the extend they get heart attacks and start to believe Garnet is talking to them when the screen is off?
I need to study it to know what to do for my own fics,
Why? At this point you don’t even do anything the show would. The show still uses the changleings, you put them all into concentration crystals. The show gave us Starlight Glimmer, you don’t bother with her. The show gives us the Pillars of Equestria, you are too busy jerking it to killing a baby pony. You just put in minor stuff that happens in the show and feel like you deserve good manchild points for not being a total asshat, cause look bronies, he actually wants to let AJs’ parents live, cuase he does not understand good drama.
plus, this way... I won't be as shallow as my haters and just downvote and walk away without looking.
Buddy, we are looking. And laughing at how pathetic you are at actually creating suspension and a “season spanning” storyarc.
-No Damage.
UGH!! Twilight winning a trophy... though I hate her and wish she NOT win things like this. Since it's small...
-200
LIFE POINTS: 6800 ----> 6600
Mykan: I don’t want Twilight to win trophies and be recognized for doing good stuff. Now see how I give Lightning another meaningless title for kissing Grand Ruler’s pucker.
Also, I assume it was simply a participation trophy. Even Rainbow Dash got one off screen just to make her not feel bad for not being in the episode.
Much as I still find that shape shifting cool, my Starfleet ponies wouldn't need it. They're already strong enough to survive the pressures of the deep, and all they need to wear is their visors and respirator masks... either that or I'll give them that Futurama retainer thing that does it.
DuckKing: And my charactrs have sparkly blood, and golden eyes and they are the master race, and… and… they are two times better than anything in fiction. (raspberry)
Jesus Christ. I get you want to make your characters “more awesome”, but you are not doing it by just making them stronger than the Mane 6 or any of the characters created in the show. You want to make Lightning and Co become awesome? Get Legendbringer as a ghostwriter for season 8 of your Starfleet stuff.
-No damage.
Sweetie Belle's starting to sound a bit like Rarity...
Be careful Sweetie, or he goes Jared on your ass, just to feel better.
complaining about Pruning. Still, it's petty...
-No damage
Mykan: I love characters who are petty. They remind me of my family.
Ha! Trouble amongst the CMC... still Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo should be ashamed, but since I like seeing this... especially when Terramar gets upset.
-No Damage (But I didn't like the song and could've done without it)
Now if it would have been a song by the guys working for Sesame Street…
Ugh!! Like I said, it was painfully obvious this wasn't one of those CHOOSE ONLY ONE things...
-1000
LIFE POINTS: 6600 ----> 5600
Terramar: Wander and free, now I can be, part of both worlds!
Okay, to digress a bit from the “review”/mock and give my own two cents on the episode and the entire “dilemma” in it: Personally I thought it was not the most world shattering dilemma to be solved, but I liked the episode overall for how it was presented. Terramar not knowing where he should live, either under the sea or on land? I know it sounds far fetched, but I get the feeling this was the writers attempt to actually do an episode about “divorce” to some degree. Think of it: Terramar’s real dilemma was with whom he wants to stay, rather than where. His dad or his mom, both people he really loves and who love him equally. Now of course it did not go into how a marriage and relationship can become loveless over time, seeing how Terramar and Silver Stream’s parents obviously seem to still love each other, but it came off to me as if whatever relationship they have, may be rather open. You know, letting one partner live in the sea, the other on land/the skies. And seeing how MLP is one of these shows not allowed to address such real world subjects in a more serious manner (remember the episode with Tank, which was essentially “RD has to deal with a pet dying, but it is just going to hibernate”?) this was pretty much their coup out. Which I do not hate. I thought it was addressed well enough. There are also other factors I liked about the episode, but I won’t go into them and just move on to the rest of the “review”. You know, all the last five lines of screeching.
FINAL SCORE: 5600 (Half and Half)
Still, at least they gave me an idea for a Friendship is Failure story, and int he meantime, I'll stick to shows about the sea that I PREFER...
Like the one about the BP oilspill. Or the one about fish monster molesting women. Or the one about the little mermaid who was cut into sushi instead of marrying her prince. Or the one about the underaged girl voiced by Tara Strong you have a crush on.
… the last one is not a joke. He is one of 12 peopple on this planet who likes Disney’s Little Mermaid 2. The other eleven like to look up loli stuff.
(And these are how I'D RATHER MLP BE LIKE... as well as Power Ranger/DC like battles)
But not the good Power Rangers stuff like Dino Charge. Super Mega-disappointing-force if anything. And battles from Countdown to Final Crisis
So, this was one of his leaked reviews. And I think I finally realized what his reviews remind me off: You know these “bronies react” videos on youtube, where people watch the episode and we see their reactions to what is on screen? The episodes that drive most of the time a joke in the ground and of which most people are unfunny hacks who can’t put their thoughts together without video editing? Yeah, these are the reviews by our Duck. Only even more mindless. I know I am not like giving a quick summary of what is happening in these episodes myself, but come on. At least I try to address some things going on in the episode. If he wouldn’t mention the title in the beginning, would anyone get what the heck he is blabbering about in the episode to begin with? his "criticisms" are just brianfarts he coems up with along as he watches, not pieces of a bigger picture.
There is also the fact that he proves his own inconsistency in reviewing this shit. Like hey, remember how he always gets his testicles in a twist when someone says “everypony”?
But when Terramar’s dad says “everygriffin”, no reason to take away points.
And he shall shut the fuck up about how his SS ponies would have been better in Seaquestria, cause they did not need to transform. Your little shitheads would never bother to travel to Seaquestria, cause they are racists who stay most of the time at home, or on planets they will conquer sooner or later anyway. If Seaquestria has a problem, it is their problem over there and not here. So piss off and let the Hippogriffs live their lives. At least they have their own culture, military pride without being dicks about it and don’t look like done in 3 minutes of MS Paint.
Maniak out.
EDIT: Well look at that. You can't put quotes into spoilers.
...Shit.
Say what you want about Mr. Enter in the past, but at least he actually analyzes the work in front of him and actually acknowledges and attempts to fix mistakes. Mykan is not a reviewer. He's just ranting.
Wait he liked Little Mermaid 2? I thought he hated every single character Tara's ever voiced.