Equestria Girls Headcanon Nonsense: Cussin' Up a Storm · 8:05pm Mar 29th, 2018
So, obviously, Equestria Girls is meant for a family audience. But if there's one thing those of us on this site enjoy, it's makin' them ponies and people swear like sailors on shore leave in our fics.
Of course, when making a character curse, the actual personality of that character should be taken into account. Not everybody swears the same way, and depending on culture or geographic location, someone from Location A may use a curse word casually that a character from Location B might find horribly offensive. If you want a real world example, look at the casual use of the word "cunt" in the United States vs. how it's used in the UK.
Being the helpful soul that I am, I figured I'd share my thoughts on if and how each of our seven favorite magic girls choose to use language that would get their mouths washed out with soap.
Pinkie Pie: Surprisingly, Pinkie doesn't actually swear. She may use "hell" on occasion, but only in the biblical sense. Hell as a location rather than an exclamation. "I banish these Brussels sprouts to the blackest pits of hell" is common. "What the hell was that?" is not. Most of the time, Pinkie just makes up her own words to emphasize her pleasure or displeasure at something. She's also a master of the cute-but-really-filthy-if-you-think-about-it innuendo.
Fluttershy: Unsurprisingly, Fluttershy doesn't really swear much either. It's just not in her nature... except in one certain case. When she's alone and engaged in... solo pleasurable pursuits, shall we say? In the middle of her fantasizing, Fluttershy will unleash some of the filthiest but god damn sexiest dirty talk you've ever heard. Almost nothing is off limits... and almost nobody will ever hear it in person.
Rarity: Rarity finds cursing uncouth and unbecoming of a lady, so she rarely has need to go beyond "hell" or "damn." "Damn" is probably her favorite curse word. It's punctuates without being crude. Although, because it's Rarity, when she's alone and something goes horribly wrong beyond her normal drama threshhold with her latest project, the rare "motherfucker!" can be heard coming from her room.
Twilight Sparkle: Because of her fixation on not doing anything wrong, ever for any reason, Twilight doesn't swear. At all. She's too terrified of people thinking she's a bad person if they hear it. Even when she's by herself, she doesn't do it. Once she let out an "Oh my God!" in exasperation and was so mortified she hid from everyone for an entire day. However, when angry enough, she may not notice letting out a stronger expletive.
Applejack: Doing manual labor for most of her life has taught AJ that sometimes, when the barn roof collapses, or the truck won't start, or the tractor breaks down in the middle of plowing, nothing feels better than unleashing a torrent of invective at the offending object. Which is really where AJ draws the line. Most of her truly offensive cursing is directed at inanimate objects (especially Big Mac's truck). She rarely curses directly at another person and in terms of casual swearing, she tends to stick to stuff that could be heard on any prime time network TV program. She rarely drops the F-bomb except in circumstances that truly warrant it. If Applejack says "fuck" out loud where anyone can hear it, you know that something truly disastrous has happened.
Rainbow Dash: Rainbow, God bless her, has no filter of any kind and used to curse casually using anything she felt like saying. This became a problem a couple of years ago when she started doing it around her parents and teachers. Needless to say, she learned about "time and a place" rather quickly after that. Now, she pretty much only curses when authority figures aren't around, and after seeing the reactions she got from AJ, Fluttershy, and Rarity, she curbed her use of the F-bomb as well. Nowadays, the strongest word she uses casually is "shit" and its permutations, although a "fuck" slips out from time to time as well.
Sunset Shimmer: Sunset is no stranger to cursing. Her rough life in the first couple of years after originally coming through the portal had her picking up the lingo rather fast. When she started attending Canterlot High, she had to retrain herself not to wind up in faculty crosshairs like Rainbow Dash did on a regular basis. These days, Sunset uses "damn," "hell," "bitch," and an occasional "shit" or "fuck," mixed in with a few Equestrian expletives for good measure: "Sweet Celestia," "For Celestia's sake," "buck it," etc. There is one exception, however. Woe be to the online multiplayer who happens to catch Sunset on an off day in one of her games. You will hear cursing of such depth and artistry that you will be equally terrified and awestruck by the imagery she conjures. When playing in the same matches as her, Rainbow Dash goes out of her way to trigger one of Sunset's epic rage-fueled cursing streaks.
What do you guys think? Does this seem right to you, or do you think I'm way off. Let me know. I'm interested in your takes on this one.
Food for thought
It all makes sense to me. What about Spike? What kind of swearing does a talking dog do? Probably a lot less use of "bitch," and a lot more "son of a mailman!"
I'd like to add one minor exception to Fluttershy- Zephyr Breeze. I get the feeling he can bring out the worst in her without much... any effort.
I would LOVE to see all the situations in which the girls curse. You're really good at piquing my curiosity.
Looks about right to me. I'd second the idea that Zephyr Breeze likely does a lot to decrease Fluttershy's restraint in the profanity department, if only because my own experiences bear it out.
I also think that Rarity, if sufficiently stressed or angry, likely goes into a "Gives no <explitive redacted>" mode and gets more coarse regardless of the situation she's in. This never lasts longer than a minute or two at most, and she's usually horrified afterwards; an apology for her unlady-like behavior and an embarrassed quick retreat from the area usually follow.
Of course, reading all this, I've now got a few headcanons of my own- RD and Sunset having to appeal bans on their multiplayer accounts over language, or Pinkie having sworn exactly once in her life. ("Crap," upon finding the water line sprang a leak and flooding the basement under a good two inches of water. Limestone is sure it was an audio hallucination.)
1. I might need a cold shower. .////.
2. If she does as her pony counterpart is sometimes want to do and loses control of her inner anger.