Writer's Rants: Sex Crimes and Wandering Plots · 12:32am Feb 2nd, 2018
Okay, I've got to talk about this, but I don't want to dirty the comment section with my angry ranting, so... here we go.
So there's this story I'm reading. I think it's in the Featured box, but I don't know for sure. Now, if I were to pitch this story, it'd turn into something a little like John Mulaney's pitch of Back to the Future: "So there's this guy, and he's minding his own business, when all of a sudden, Princess Twilight comes up to him and sexually assaults him." Hilarious, right? Feelgood comedy of the year? "So she sexually assaults him, and he doesn't know what to do, just freezes up, and then when she leaves, she forgets the whole thing, and then when her friends tell her what she did, she blames him for it!" Aah, aah? Still hooked? "So this guy just wants to be left alone, but her friends keep trying to hook them up together--there's this side joke about how all the characters are betting on when she'll lose her virginity by raping him, funny stuff--even though he keeps telling them he's not interested, he doesn't actually like her, he just puts up with the regular sexual assaults because Twilight's too powerful to avoid." Boy, what a knee-slapper! "Now we're getting to the point where Princess Luna's working with the guy, explicitly so that she can sexually assault him, too." Oh, man, the scene where Luna sexually assaults the main character for the first time. It's the romantic moment of the century.
You see what I mean? Sure, it seems gross when I replace "kissing" with "sexual assault," but what else do you call getting kissed when you explicitly don't want to? The main character distinctly said, "I'm not comfortable engaging in a sexual relationship with you, I'm still trying to figure this thing out with Twilight, I'm going to create an entirely professional relationship to distance us," and then Luna kissed him anyway. Twice. Even after the first time made him uncomfortable. What do you call that? The main character has no agency in this story (which is an argument for another time), except to get chased by all these mares either sexually assaulting him or blaming him for getting sexually assaulted. He seems to just accept all this nonsense, either shrugging it away or saying, "I guess this is just what happens sometimes. Sometimes princesses kiss you against your will. Eh, you get used to it." It's messed up!
[Insert "would this be okay if the genders were reversed, no it wouldn't, there'd be riots in the streets" argument you've heard a thousand times before]
And yet I keep reading it. Heaven help me, but I keep reading it. Why do I keep reading this story I'm so virulently opposed to? Is it because I like the author's writing style enough that I can forgive the petty sex crimes going on in the story? (...Wait, I didn't even bring up the time she kidnapped him in my pitch!) Is it that I'm drawn to keep reading it, like watching a trainwreck? Am I reading it in the desperate hope that it's going to get better? Or am I just being a spineless SJW/MRA*, vocally against certain cultural ideas yet secretly in favor of them in my heart? I honestly don't know. I just... it frustrates me, because there's clearly something there I like. But I just can't help but think, "Dude, why are you putting up with this? She's sexually assaulting you, and you're just rolling over. Stop being Vincent from Catherine and put your hoof down! You don't owe the rest of the characters anything! It doesn't matter if you kinda like it**, that doesn't justify how the other characters treat you about it." So... yeah. Argh!
***
Okay, rant two. That last one, I kept vague on purpose***, but since I've brought this issue up previously, screw it, we're using names on this one. I just finished Chengar Qordath's latest story, Oncoming Storm, whatever it was called, the one where they go to Equestria. Anybody else out there who read it, can you tell me what, like, the plot was? I mean, there's a series of events: Cloud Kicker accidentally shoots someone, they go to Equestria to find out what's wrong, they meet their Equestrian counterparts. But, I mean... what was the point? There's no conflict, there's not really a moral; stuff just... happens.
A ton of Chengar's stories are like this. The auction one with Sunset: Sunset goes to an auction, bids 10x more than everyone else, gets in a brief scuffle, FIN. Cadance's Hearts and Hooves: Cadance has a bunch of silly romantic misadventures, THE END. Shining Armor's Bemusing Dilemma: Cadance and Musette are catty with each other for 11,000 words, DONE. (Oh, hey, Musette! Another character who walks a dangerously close line to "rampant sexual predator.") Why? Why am I reading this? Why did you write this?! What was the POINT!?!
Like, okay, we can talk about stories not needing to have conflicts. We can talk about stories where the goal is to explore character interactions and enjoy the writing style. (The WW is coming for it, sooner or later.) I just... these stories infuriate me because they don't seem to be going anywhere! I'm always surprised when the story is marked complete because it seems like nothing was accomplished. They needed a treatment for Cloud's magic--great, perfect plot spur. They spend a chapter doing measurements and jabbering about how different the two worlds are. Uh... okay? Maybe going for some kind of thematic--the cure gets made off-screen, Cloud's mom bamfs out of nowhere, DA END. I just... I... whuh? Whyyyy?
There's something about the writing style. Chengar has this strange, plodding dialogue style where characters sit down in a room and say exactly what they're thinking and why they think it at each other. If anybody else were writing like that, I'd shoot it down as utter garbage, but Chengar somehow makes it work. My best guess would be that they give each character a unique voice and personality that makes them bounce off each other well. This works really well when the characters have a strong conflict that can drive their dialogue, like Strumming and Sunset at the end of The Freeport Venture. But in these stories, where the characters are just kinda doing stuff? It leads to the characters saying stuff that's just kinda... true. Like, yep, you and Equestria!Cloud Kicker sure are different. You wanna do something with that? Maybe Cloud makes some personal change because of it? ...No? Okay then.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just dumb, and all the deep, personal interrelations are just flying over my head. (...To mix metaphors a little.) But like, I just caught up with Cadance of Cloudsdale the other day, and I loved how the symbolism of food was paralleled with a hunger for novelty and experience, which yeah, was blatantly obvious, but maybe that's why I liked it! And the writing style has this casual quirkiness to it that I loved reading, paragraph to paragraph. And yeah, lotta times Cadance was just kinda wandering around, but in the end, there was a battle to be won and a choice to be made, and Cadance fought that battle and made that choice, and it all worked out! I'm just saying, you can have interesting characters that bounce off of each other without sacrificing a central backbone of a plot. These Oncoming Storm stories just baffle me--the first one at least had a semblance of a plot, but they've just been going downhill from there.
...I guess it's like the name, huh? You see a bunch of stormclouds in the horizon, you think, "Ooh, that's gonna be interesting when it gets here," and then it just sits there in the distance, rumbling. Or it splits around your town just as you think it's gonna start pouring.
***
...Blargh. I hate being negative, but I just had to get it outta me this time. Maybe I'm the only one who feels the same way, and all of Chengar's stories are genius, and I'm reading too far into the kissing story, and... eh. Let me know what you think. Or just tell me I'm wrong and stupid. 
*I'm not really a feminist, but I'm not really an MRA, either. I'd call myself an "egalitarian," but considering feminists view that as the same as #AllLivesMatter, I'll just say I sympathize with both sides, and move on. (Please don't turn my comment section into an argument about this.)
**Okay, let's ford this one off at the peak. I really don't approve of the idea that sexual assault is okay just because the assaultee felt good throughout. Again, gender-flip, riots, yadda yadda. Again, he's still being forced to perform sexual acts he doesn't want to do. Given the choice between doing them and not doing them, he would prefer not doing them. Making people do things they don't want to do is a violation of their rights, aka a crime. (Imagine if, instead of kissing him, Twilight was capturing him, forcing five-star food down his throat, and then releasing him back into the wild. He might say he thought the food tasted good, but do you really think he'd want to go through that again?) And even if he does enjoy it, that still doesn't justify the massive amounts of victim blaming and teasing he gets for something he has no control over and in fact would rather not have to deal with.
*** ...Actually, come to think of it, why was I being vague about what story this is? I think it was because I wanted the pitch to be a secret, and then I decided not to reveal what the story is. Or maybe I want the author to decide for themselves if they want to be outed. Or maybe I don't want you to go read a story I disapprove of? I don't know. If you want to know what story it is (though I imagine you can figure it out, I wasn't all that subtle), send me a PM, and I'll tell you.
Yeah, I'll comment on it later. It's late. Suffice it to say, I don't mind if you use the story name. I can take criticism. I'm an adult. (well, agewise.)
Actually, from a feminist lense, you could analyze how one of the toxic elements of society’s conception of masculinity is how men are supposed to love sexual stuff no matter what, and that not wanting girls crawling all over you is weak and unmanly. Thus, the situation described is one that toxic masculinity would see little wrong with.
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Hope you're not too mad about my comments. I know my interpretation of your story might be a bit of a stretch (though I honestly don't think it is), but I hope you can take it as one opinion among many. I mean, clearly the story's popular and doing well, so... take my saltiness with a grain of salt. 
Hey, Georg!
(I just read your latest chapter, and... you had Rarity auction off one of his kisses without his consent.
At least you had the decency to have Rarity apologize for the one she stole last chapter. Although I'm not sure what Dry Roast's response means. I'm still not getting "into it" so much as "resigned that this is gonna happen with or without his agency considered," which really doesn't put the "enthusiastic" in "enthusiastic consent." 
)
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One of the reasons I sympathize with SJWs is that they do want to help everyone, and that their conception of "the patriarchy" can affect men, too; one of the reasons I sympathize with MRAs is that it's clearly not a high priority for them, and in fact if feminists never determined a healthy sexual outlet for men, they'd shrug and say they tried. (One of the reasons the phrase "toxic masculinity" gets misconstrued [or correctly construed, possibly] is that I don't think I've ever seen a concerted effort to define non-toxic masculinity, in a way distinct from femininity. That might just be argument from ignorance, but... the theme is there. All problems, no solutions.)
But like I said, I don't want to get into that. The bigger issue, I'd argue, is that the character feels like he can't fight Twilight and Luna because they're too powerful, both magically and politically. If anything, I'd call it the Equestrian matriarchy.
4787929 What one reader sees as toxic masculinity or sexual discrimination seems to be seen by the subject as a case where Luna has been taking specific steps to *avoid* any unwanted pressure on Dry. The last thing she wants is to drive him away, and she's been taking great care to stay within certain modern boundries, since so much changed since the last time she 'played' with Celestia.
...
“I get the message!” said Dry Roast.
“But there is so much more,” insisted Luna, making Dry Roast hold his hooves over his ears.
“I don’t want to know,” he moaned. After a few moments of relative silence, he removed his hooves and looked at Luna, who was simply sitting in the darkness without saying a word.
“Okay,” he admitted. “I want to know. Why were you flirting with Princess Cadence’s fiancé? Did Cadence know?”
...
“Pardon me, Dry.” Luna slowed her pace to a halt and just looked at him in that see-clear-through-to-the-other-side way that was so distracting. “I apologize for attempting to accelerate our relationship beyond the limits which you desire. It’s just that things were so boring this evening after Night Court let out and the supplicants went home. The castle is a quiet, peaceful place where I can be alone with my thoughts and my stars, but some of those thoughts are less than comforting.”
...
Now *Twilight* is in totally new territory, and putting her hoof in things pretty well.
Georg's male protagonists in romantic comedies do tend to take their lumps a bit, I'll admit. I've walked away from a story where the protagonist has gotten put in the hospital by the presumed love interest.
That said, remember that we start with Dry Roast admitting that he opens his store an hour or two early just so Twilight Sparkle can walk in, order a coffee and sleep-kiss him. He can't be making enough money from selling one coffee for that to be profitable, so he has to be doing it for the kiss.
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But, uh... the whole provocative effect of my rant relies on him being blindsided and not consenting to her kissing him. 
...Hrm. That does complicate the primary facet of my thesis. It doesn't really excuse the heckling by the peanut gallery... or the kidnapping... and I'm still not convinced about Luna.
EDIT: ...Actually, if that's the case, we get the exact opposite problem. Now he's taking advantage of Twilight while she's not of sound mind and judgment. He's the one manipulating the situation so that she has sexual interactions with him she doesn't want. It's not her fault she's a sexomniac, after all.
4788351 That's a fair point, the dude actually goes to his lawyer/brother to head off possible charges of sexual assault.
Though I do wonder if Dry Roast had not opened his cafe, Twilight would have just sleep-teleported into his house, mumbled at him until he made her a coffee there, and then kissed him anyway.
I guess it's the strength of Georg as a writer that even as his characters engage in questionable actions, I still root for them.
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Well, from one of the previous chapters, it's clear she's not attracted to Dry Roast, just expressing her appreciation for getting coffee. After all, she kissed Rainbow Dash when RD gave her the coffee. If it weren't Dry Roast, it'd just be some other barista.