From Concept to Story Part One · 2:09am Oct 23rd, 2017
Jondor - 08/23/2017 https://derpibooru.org/1517939 pfft
Cryosite - 08/23/2017 I don't see anything wrong.
Jondor - 08/23/2017 Heh
Cryosite - 08/23/2017 Glimmy's just been hitting the beach with Rainbow and Trixie, while Twi has been cooped up indoors all summer.
Jondor - 08/23/2017 Clearly
Cryosite - 08/23/2017 Random idea: ponies go to the beach, wear bikinis, get a lot of sun. When they come home and go naked, they show tanlines.
Jondor - 08/23/2017 That would be pretty goofy
Cryosite - 08/23/2017 Might work that into DiamondBloom. :U
Jondor - 08/23/2017 Heh
Cryosite - 08/23/2017 AB and DT (and others perhaps) go to the beach or the summer after their last year of school. While there, AB frets about the right thing to wear to the beach each day. DT keeps telling her not to worry so much, and just go naked. AB doesn't listen. When they get back, and AB discovers her tanlines (perhaps pointed out by Scootaloo/Sweetie Belle, she expects DT and SS to tease her. Instead, DT just offers her the use of some coat dye to even out her color.
Jondor - 08/23/2017 Turns out she can only match the darker color, so AB ends up being orange-brown for a while.
While this looks almost nothing like what wound up being Bleached Blondes Beach Bond, this is the original idea that sparked off the resulting story. Needless to say, it went through a lot of changes. Heavy spoilers for the story below.
I mentioned in my previous blog that I was interested in sharing how the story came about, but I was waiting on the judging process to be completed before doing so. My story took second place in the contest. Like anyone who doesn't get first place, I have thoughts about that, but there is no way to really voice them without coming across as a poor sport. So I'll keep them to myself; they aren't important to the topic at hand anyway. Congratulations to those other two authors who got first and third place. At least one of them was among my top three picks of the 9 other contestant's entries. I'd still really like to hear the judges' thoughts on at least my story, if not all the stories, but that information seems to be slow in coming, if at all.
Before I had come up with the above mentioned story idea, I had noticed the contest and figured that it might not get very much attention. I even mentioned to Jondor that I was thinking of throwing together some low-effort idea to bank on that low participation, and get an easy few bucks. I feel that some of the participating authors may have had that same idea, and the fact that I did step my game up and put a lot of effort into my story played a large role in placing as high as I did.
As hinted at by my previous blog, had I stuck with a "low effort" entry, I probably would have gone with just the base idea above. Maybe have the beach scene (with the rest of the CMC, Silver, and possibly others), have the embarrassment happen, and maybe some version of the talk that happened in BBBB at the end of chapter 2. Maybe some of you would have preferred that, I'll never know.
Between the 23rd of August and the middle of September (about the 19th or so, if memory serves) I spent brainstorming, designing, and making decisions. I threw most of my ideas onto a GDoc which I labeled my "design sheet." I presented that to my editors, Jondor and Formerly Comitted (which isn't quite the right way to do it, but they both went above and beyond the call of duty; they helped with both editing and the brainstorming process quite a bit). I will admit that I was a little bit lazy in this process, which is why it took as long as it did. I was procrastinating a fair bit.
During that process, I took in a lot of inspiration to flesh out the idea. Some of it was old bits of headcanon, characterization ideas, and so on. Other parts were little tidbits from songs/music videos I like, things I was watching, and various other discussions I was having. It would be impossible to really describe or quantify all of that, so instead I'll just go over some of the major design points the story went through, and give some information (mostly from memory) about how that went.
One piece of character headcanon I have is that Silver Spoon is from "California." If you've read the (still incomplete at this time) story I have published, titled "Hungry," you may recognize that from chapter two, which has some flashbacks of Silver's time at school before coming to Ponyville. I know a lot of people seem to have an idea that Diamond Tiara is the "alpha" of their duo, often dragging Silver around through her schemes. I've seen a lot of depictions in fanfics where Silver is portrayed as an almost innocent "just following orders" sort of character to Diamond's "actually evil general" character. I don't like those depictions, and I imagine both of the fillies influence each other. Silver's background in my headcanon from Los Pegasus (not to be confused with Las Pegasus; the former is based on Los Angeles, while the later is based on Las Vegas), puts her in a somewhat superior social position to Diamond Tiara, at least initially. Sort of like how Rarity is a Ponyville native, but has studied and emulated Canterlot, Diamond probably picked up some of Silver's speech, mannerisms, and so on. All of that mostly stems from the style of speech the two fillies use in early seasons, which sounds at least based off of the "Valley Girl" accent that I'm familiar with.
That played a large role in my choice of setting. Silver Cove is loosely based on Long Beach, CA. It isn't much bigger than Ponyville, and mostly exists in the shadow of the much larger Los Pegasus nearby. If Equestria were as large and as developed as modern USA, Los Pegasus would likely expand over and swallow up Silver Cove rendering it as much a part of Los Pegasus as Long Beach is part of Los Angeles today. Two notable features in Silver Cove are directly modeled after places in Long Beach:
http://www.theskyroom.com was the basis of the restaurant depicted in chapter 5. http://www.thesuitelb.com was the setting of most of chapter 6. More on those later though. The rest of the sights and sounds of Silver cove were entirely made up from my own imagination, or other sources.
Getting the duo out of Ponyville and familiar surroundings was done for several reasons. The main one is that it let me (mostly) cut down on the number of "important" characters by quite a bit. It allowed the story to focus mostly on Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara. That seemed like a popular trend among all the contest entries, though not every story avoided using characters like Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Silver Spoon. Others managed to stay in Ponyville, but refrain from using those characters. I could have had the other girls come along on the vacation too, or made the setting near a lake or something. It wasn't a "this all works better because I made this decisions" sort of thing, instead it was just a design choice and that was one of the motivations that was compatible with it.
The other main point of the move was to accommodate the big idea that grew out of the original basic idea: instead of just having the embarrassing tan lines happen, then talk about it, make up, and everything is fine, I wanted to show a couple actually working through an issue that is important to them as a couple. A topic that was prominent in my young high school life, through most of my adult life, and still occasionally relevant even today is the concept of "the game." It is that "adult" game hinted at in a lot of music, passed on from older sibling to younger, shared in locker rooms, and eventually put into practices in bars and clubs and parties. In real life it usually involves a lot of alcohol (and other drugs), and is probably one of the biggest sources of date rape and other awful things like STDs spreading, unwanted pregnancies, and so on. But forget about the messy consequences, and just focus on being a player.
I felt that familiarity with "the game" (at least a somewhat toned down/tamer version thereof) would be something fitting to Diamond Tiara's character. Part of her rarity-like emulation of "big city life," particularly of Los Pegasus/Los Angeles, would fit that. She's a social powerhouse, and making use of "having good game" would work well in business dealings and the like. Being in a serious relationship would curb being a player.
So the story went from "a couple has an embarrassing event, talks about it, and everything is fine" to using that event to instead reveal some relationship problems under the surface for the couple. Playing "the game" the next day is the pair's efforts to work through those relationship problems. And doing that felt much better to do away from the usual relationships and dynamics found back home. Being away from home, friends, and family lets the couple explore their relationship and come to grips with things on their own terms.
So, at this point I already have a lot more material than I typically see in most stories. Picking up this level of complexity is something that it seems like most writers just plain balk at even contemplating.
Central to making this all work is having a strong sense of character for Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara. As individuals and as a couple, you really need to dig down past surface elements. "Teasing" was a theme that I saw in several other stories, and was indeed present in mine. If you're going to ship Diamond Tiara (or Silver Spoon) with any of the CMC (and often even if you ship them with each other or with other ponies), you're stuck addressing this issue in some way. It's important, but it is also a pretty easy topic to notice and include in the story. Some stories treat it in a really shallow, uninteresting way.
For Diamond Tiara's side of things, I decided to work with Crusader's of the Lost Mark, and some of how I think that played out. Again, not unique to my story by any means, but how I played it out is my own. Diamond Tiara is still a social manipulator. After her redemption in the episode, we see her still influencing other ponies to do her bidding. She does it with a smile and compliments instead of insults and blackmail. Diamond Tiara is still the same pony after her redemption as before, with the same skills and talents as she had before, the same interests, goals, and so on. What the CMC revealed to her is that there are other ways to be herself. Not be a different person, but the sort of pony she wants to be.
A lot of parallels exist between Diamond Tiara and Starlight Glimmer. She too has had to figure out to still be who she is, but a better version of herself. A positive one. To use her talents for good and heroic things. It is easy to try to cut off the old you, avoid doing those things you're good at but produced bad results. The Diamond Tiara of my story is a lot like Starlight Glimmer in Season 6, and is more focused on "getting along" and "behaving" with Apple Bloom (and others).
Apple Bloom's character is one that has the most material in the show, but seems often to never really be explored in an interesting way in fanfic. It's easy to write her off as "mini-Applejack." But that would be very shallow and wrong. While Apple Bloom clearly shares some traits with her big sister, and does look up to her, she is also very much her own pony with very different interests and tastes as well. Honest Apple really drew my attention to the fact that she is also a mini-Rarity. She's in to fashion and frets about her appearance. You may recall that she was stressing over what to wear when her cousin, Babs, first came to visit from Manehattan in Bad Seed. She's also clearly not infected by whatever is wrong with AJ's brain that makes her averse to "frou frou" things, as Apple Bloom wears a giant poofy bow on her head all the time. I've also seen some people describe Apple Bloom as a "mini-Twilight" noting how much of a worrywart she is, and how inclined she is to freak out over little details and imagine the worst possible outcomes (such as in Bloom and Gloom).
Another "odd" design choice I made concerns the Apples as a family. We learned in Family Appreciation Day that the Apple Family was directly responsible for the birth of Ponyville, due to a young Granny Smith foraging for food in the nearby Everfree Forest and stumbling on zap apples. Rewind a few frames in her story though, and you'll recall that the reason they were even there in that situation is they were granted land by Celestia. While the series never presents nobility in a very detailed manner, historically when the monarch grants land to trusted people, that act carries with it several rights to manage the land, collect taxes, and govern the land. It carries with it a hereditary title.
Obviously Granny Smith and Applejack don't care too much for the usual sorts of trappings and social side of nobility and aristocracy. It also seems like the Apples have mostly shunned the government/taxing side of nobility, in favor of personally working their farm. Ponyville not being under their governance seems to contradict typical nobility, but I feel like the personality of the Apple family, largely due to Granny Smith, can coexist with it.
Much of how I have pre-existing headcanon for Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara, this is also one of my pre-existing pieces of headcanon. I decided to incorporate it into BBBB, because I feel like it serves to put Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom on more even social footing. It adds a certain twist to their canon relationship that I like quite a bit. A lot of Diamond Tiara's antagonism towards Apple Bloom (in addition to the bad influence of her mother) seems based around reputation, social status, and so on. Apple Bloom in particular was her target because of the deference her daddy, Filthy Rich, showed to the Apples, and it galled her.
As Apple Bloom grew up and shed those things that Diamond Tiara used to tease her about (such as being a blank flank), I could see Apple Bloom embracing more of the social aspects of her noble status. Not only would it serve to make them socially equals, it feels like a direction Diamond Tiara would influence Apple Bloom as a couple. I imagine the two of them would pool their talents into business settings, make contacts and allies with producers and suppliers, and do something to make a bunch of money. Using Apple Bloom's nobility to those ends, and picking ends that are agreeable to Apple Bloom seems like a great and positive use of Diamond Tiara's talents. Even without Diamond's influence, it feels like Apple Bloom's interest in her reputation and appearance would already fit in with the decision to be more keen on how she represents her House among adult social circles.
Where some authors like to assume Diamond Tiara will inherit some part of her father's business, or spend her young adulthood basically being an apprentice businesspony, or just accepting some nepotism in the company, I like to think that she'd be a business powerhouse in her own right, especially partnered with Apple Bloom as I depict her.
So instead of just some "goofy" event happening for a few laughs (maybe) from the audience, and some shallow character traits, I decided to dive in deep and explore two characters, and build a detailed and living setting for them to move about in. Instead of writing your typical "they get together" and try to explain what fandom-common traits get in the way of or fuel the ship in story-mouthpiece fashion, I felt the pair was easily strong enough to not care how they got together and focus on just showing what they're like after that happens. Instead of just taking an idea, dressing it up with the bare minimum to convey it, I incorporated it into a bigger story that explored two people.
And all that really was just the first pass. I took the idea quoted in the beginning, dredged up some years-old character headcanon, blew the dust off, and plopped several concepts down into the GDoc. At this stage, it was still very rough, and basically brainstorming.
I knew that the idea I had in my head would still not make much sense to anyone else, and getting help from others would be impossible. So the second stage involved hammering out a very bare-bones, basic plot-line. Mostly something I could let my editors read, to see the direction I was going in. I imagined a series of important key-points or events that would be needed to showcase this plot-line. I don't have that original timeline saved anywhere, as that GDoc spent a great deal of time as a living resource that was edited and changed as decisions were discussed, some things abandoned, and others adjusted. From memory, that basic plot-line looked something like this:
AB and DT go on vacation to the beach.
AB gets tan lines which embarrass her.
She expects DT to tease her, but that doesn't happen.
They try to use bleach/dyes to fix it. Wind up Blonde.
DT reassures AB, and in the discussion they dredge up relationship issues involving "teasing."
DT has a plan to make use of their altered appearances and try out "teasing" in a safe environment away from friends and family.
Going through with the plan has mixed results.
In the end, they both feel more comfortable with "teasing" and leave their vacation closer to each other.
As you can see, that is quite a bit closer to what the eventual story turned out to be than the original idea. That is also about when the story's title was invented. Alliteration is fun, and "beach" and "bleach" rhyming is another fun bit. "Blonde" and "bond" being another rhyme sealed the deal.
Yay, I'm horsefamous!
I had my low opinions of the game being played by Diamond and Applebloom throughout the story when they tried to flirt with male stallions and gryphons, but this just basically confirmed my suspicions.
Equestria being filled with beings marginally nicer than humans is probably one of the few reasons they made out intact.
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There are more factors involved than "marginally nicer than humans."
Females not being noticeably "weaker" than males in the show, and a distinct lack of the lopsided social position of males/females play a big part. Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara not being "weak helpless girls" is a major factor. Both in the physical sense in case of possible violence and in the social sense of a much more egalitarian society.
Remove that historical sense of "one of the genders (women) is supposed to be property of the other" and I'd say there is far more than a marginal difference in niceness. It means that predators are a true outlier. And they'd come roughly equally from both genders, not just men.
There is also a lack of intoxicants involved that remove inhibitions in the story. Despite what some pieces of fiction might suggest to the contrary, people who are merely horny don't lose the ability to think rationally and behave. The fact that Apple Bloom slightly falls victim to this was treated as surprising and unusual, rather than the norm.
I know that "the game" as known in real life is often pretty unpleasant. I was very careful to depict something of a much tamer shadow of it.
That said, it wasn't intended to be viewed strictly as a positive thing, but as a somewhat dangerous thing. So, I suppose "low opinion" was in the right ballpark?