Lean · 3:57am Feb 15th, 2021
No matter which way you lean, sometimes you want someone there to prop you up. From the most stoic, cynical, and introverted among us to the butterfly socialite. As a social species, our health measurably suffers when we're lonely. A big part of that social interaction comes in the form of simply expressing things. In recognizing there are others experiencing what we're experiencing and, simply by not being alone, we're better able to face it. Whatever it may be.
I saw this while flipping through Discord and eventually was inspired to write this blog. I reached out to that person in a way I hope was comforting in what might be a serious call for help.
It's no wonder that imaginary friends are incredibly popular the world over. One of the biggest marketing strategies for Christianity (for example and by no means exclusive to them) is this comforting idea that a benevolent and wise father figure will, in some way, be there for you no matter what. It would be easy to remind someone, if you're a Christian, that Jesus is there to lean on. Though such an offer is hardly comforting to someone like myself no matter how well-intentioned the sender is.
I'd like to offer an alternative. Bill Withers is a real person. He died almost a year ago on 30 March, 2020 to I hope some fanfare and mourning though I don't recall seeing any. But his offer of his shoulder to lean on stands whith us in digital immortality here:
This song is from 1972 making it a little bit older than me. I remember hearing it growing up and assuming it was ancient as every child does for anything minutes older than she is. I admit to not learning the name of the gentleman crooning about solidarity and kindness until well into adulthood. Though his song easily stuck in my head for many long years.
You might be inclined to draw attention to his skin tone and the month but I'm not and I think dwelling on that would be a disservice. Petty.
Instead I want to address the actual topic. The song touches lyrically upon a notion that he, the man singing the story, may at some point need to lean on others. There is a suggestion, vaguely, that we all face problems. Where many use this opportunity to bring up their specific issues or go after perceived sources and scapegoats, Withers takes a different tack. He offers his shoulder no matter the problem. The title of the song is "Lean on me." His solution to this indistinct setting of hardship is to be that strong person that others can rely on. He mentions his own potential needs not to say he looks forward to collecting support later but to assure you, the needful in the here and now, that it's ok and he understands. Don't be too proud to lean on him.
I don't think there is much worry of that pride these days. I think the general setting we live in sees need of shoulders like Bill's and plenty of people seeking out that support. I want to remind you that folks like him do exist as he did in flesh for 81 years and in spirit forever. I for one am inspired by him. I don't know if I can claim even a fraction of his strength. But I aspire to it. I aspire not merely to get by. Not merely to solve some problem or defeat some foe. I want to have the kind of understated strength he demonstrated in his music. That others have someone to lean on. I may need to lean on others from time to time but if no one offers to be the shoulder then everyone falls. If I can't aspire to be that shoulder then I can only expect there to be none for anyone.
I don't know the man well enough to say that he would still offer you his shoulder to lean on were he still alive to do so. I don't think it matters and I don't want to investigate or pry into his private life to find out. I think the sentiment is enough. Maybe that is intangible and too ephemeral for some, such as the notion of Jesus is for me though Bill Withers is infinitely superior by virtue of being non-fictional. If so, then perhaps my blog has little to offer you. If you're in need of a shoulder, I urge you to find one and I'm sure one is available somewhere.
I think the sentiment is enough. If you have or can gain the strength I'm talking about, I urge you to do so. And to offer your shoulder to those in need. The sentiment itself may offer little support in which to lean, but it can inspire those of us willing to build up our shoulders to do so. Rather than misguide the needy towards phantoms I want to bring focus on the strong and encourage supportive was. Be inspired as I am of men like Bill Withers and the spirit of this song.
The Guardian, in an article about his death, refers to the song as an ode to friendship. I think I've heard somewhere that friendship is pretty powerful. That is a pretty inspiring concept and offers an achievable way to have strong shoulders. Be a good friend to those in your circle. Aspire to be the one they lean on rather than falling always into the shoulder-seeking mindset.
The other big song Bill Withers is known for is "Ain't No Sunshine".
I do remember after Bill Wither died, seeing a cover of "Ain't No Sunshine" turn up on Rick Astley's channel, of all places. This was two weeks later. I was impressed by how well he covered it.
Another song with similar sentiments to "Lean On Me" would be Carole King, and "You've Got A Friend", as "Lean On Me" is, at it's essence, a friendship song.
Of course, here's one of my favorite friendship songs...
--Sweetie Belle
nice