Halloween Horror Marathon: Saw Week · 10:55pm Oct 18th, 2017
Hello and welcome once again to another stirring blog posts about my month of horror! Yay! It is easier to do these a week at a time, I guess. Anyhoo, as the title gave away, this week we're looking at the Saw films, and just in time for the 8th one to come out. It looks... just about as good as the rest of them. Or at least, any sequel after 3. But without further ado...
October 12th: Saw
Let's be frank here, none of the Saw films are actually good, per se. It took an interesting idea and dragged it out way too long... and then made 5, 6, 7, and 8. But the original Saw is the closest thing we get to a quote/unquote good movie. It's performances aren't bad, and its minimalistic style actually serves the film well. Plus it doesn't devolve into a ton of gore like the sequels did. Sure, it's still there, but the camera isn't focusing on it going "SEE! SEE! AREN'T WE EDGY AND GORY?!" I find subtlety to be both the greatest and rarest virtue in horror movies, and Saw... doesn't really have subtle moments. It has a few nice quiet moments, where the two guys are just talking and getting to know each other, but on the whole, it's the peak of the franchise. It's not overly good. Plot holes, character actions that make no sense... but a nice little twist, though. RT has it at a 48%, which is the highest rating for the series. Sounds about right.
Incidentally, 48% is also where they have the MLP Movie right now. It was a good movie, guys!
October 13th: Saw II
Well after the first movie made a shitzillion dollars on a 45 dollar budget, a sequel was inevitable. They took a totally different script that the eventual director of this film made, crossed out a few bits and put in "Jigsaw" and boom, another Saw film. This one is not as good as the first one, and the shift in directors shows. It's shot more like a music video rather than a movie, and that can be pretty jarring. It's the first movie where we actually get Tobin Bell as Jigsaw/John Kramer, and he absolutely kills it throughout the rest of the series...
No pun intended.
But seriously, he's the best part of the series. I like the scenes the best when him and the detective are just sitting and talking. It adds to both of their characters in an interesting way. But hey, what's a Saw film without deadly traps with idiots in them? That's what the house setting is for. On the whole the traps are kind of interesting. There's the... *shudder* needle pit, that was pretty spine-tingling. The razor box was not too bad either. The furnace was stupid. Seriously, 1. how did it even work in the first place and 2. how dumb was this guy to just blindly go in? It's a bit jarring when you look at a trap and go "oh, that's how they avoid anything bad in the first place. Overall it's not that great. It has a few virtues (the trademark twist isn't that bad here either) but if you're not a fan, don't bother. It has a 36% on RT.
October 14th: Saw III
Once again, the previous film broke box office records, so why not make another one? I actually enjoyed this film more than the second one. It had a story that I could actually put myself in. We've all had some people we really wish we could get back at for terrible things they've done to us, so to actually watch a guy be handed the tools of his revenge against people who make mistakes... it's actually a really interesting premise for a film. Ironically enough, it makes the Jigsaw/Amanda parts a little boring, since I didn't care about what was happening with them at all. The bits with Mr. Robert the Bruce actor guy were much more entertaining and engaging.
Unfortunately, this movie is when the traps start to get sillier. They wouldn't be truly awful until the 4th movie onward, but there was a lot of "really? Seriously? A dying cancer patient made all of those? I get that he's an engineer and stuff and has helpers, but... that's just stupid." In the first film they had traps like a guy covered in flame accelerant gel who was given a candle and a safe with numbers on the wall. That's pretty simplistic but still terrifying because you can put yourself in that situation a little better. It isn't cartoonish yet, but it's a preview of the stupid traps to come.
Overall, though, I did like this better than the second one. It's the last film in the series that touches on "good" though. It has a 27% on RT, which is actually a little low for me. It was a better movie than that.
October 15th: Saw IV
Now it's really starting to get dumb. The traps are stupid, the story is stupid, how it's all set up is stupid, and the traditional twist isn't that great. Actually, the twist in the 3rd wasn't mind blowing either. The best I can saw for Saw IV is that we get a lot more into the life of John Kramer before he became Jigsaw. Normally I wouldn't want to get into the backstory and mindset of an enigmatic killer...
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But here it kind of worked. Anything to see more Tobin Bell as Jigsaw. Although, I'm not sure if it's Tobin Bell's real voice, or if it's something he did for the movie, but Jigsaw always sounded like he smoked 400 packs a day. It was kind of creepy most of the time, but a little jarring at others.
But yeah, we've hit a point where the traps are just over-the-top and ten gallons of blood are used for each one, and that's boring compared to the minimalistic traps we got in the first and second films. Plus, unlike the third film, I didn't give a rats about the protagonist. He wasn't interesting, and neither was his journey. But it's all still better than the ones that came after it, which isn't saying much. It has a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, sounds good.
October 16th: Saw V
Interestingly enough, Saw V is the first Saw film I ever saw. I was at my grandmother's house on a trip to New York and it was late and night and Saw V was on a repeat. I thought "why not?" and watched it.
...
It freaking sucks. Worst Saw film yet. The main villain (who was named after the producer of the first two Saw films and who died not long after Saw 2 was released) is nowhere near as interesting as Jigsaw, and even Amanda had a bit more going for her than Hoffman did. The protagonist was just a typical Ahab cop, and not really that fun to watch. The main "trap" story line, if you will, of the five people going through the endless warehouse had a neat idea in the end (the best twist moment since Saw II) it still wasn't enough to save them from the fact that none of the characters were good people whom you wanted to see survive. We haven't had that since Saw III. Even Jigsaw isn't quite as interesting as he has been in previous films. Not that he's in it that much, but whatever.
The traps are just stupid (though not as much as in 4, 6, and 7) and it's weird that one guy could pull all of this off. Jigsaw isn't even alive at this point! How can Hoffman pull all of this off? It's just silly. 12% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yep. Worst one yet.
October 17th: Saw VI
A slight step up from Saw V, but still pretty dumb. I remember watching the trailer for the film and thinking that they'd really jumped the shark in terms of traps. Specifically this one...
The Carousel Trap. I mean, it's a merry-go-round, not a carousel, so screw you guys on that one, but it's just completely ridiculous. I remember thinking how dumb it looked. And it's not really any better in the film. Again, this goes back to Jigsaw already being dead, so... how did this thing get made? How did any of it get made? Why? What's the point of these stupid movies?! I will say that the twist in this one is actually pretty good, so well done on that one. On the whole, though, neither the Hoffman story line, nor the trap story line were interesting. Both were boring and I didn't care about anything going on. The traps were too stupid to be scary or even fun, so I couldn't even get that out of the film. It has a 37% on RT, which, according to critics, technically makes it the second best Saw film. No, it's not. Is it better than V? Sure. Why not?
October 18th: Saw 3D... or Saw: The Final Chapter... or Saw VII
Well, we're done. The last, and unquestionably worst Saw film. You did it, Saw V. You weren't the dumbest thing ever. Congrats to you. From the opening trap I knew things were going to be awful. It takes place in the middle of the day in a public area. Sure, they're behind a display window but... it's so complicated! And nobody noticed it being set up?! I mean look at this!
I know it's kind of hard to see, but that's two people with saw blades in front of them with a third suspended above them. Either one of them has to push the saw blade into the other one, or the third person is lowered onto a third saw and cut in half. All of this is happening in the middle of the day. In public. Because this movie is really stupid.
Hoffman is just a cartoon character at this point. He kills an entire police station with a knife. Yawn. Boring. Plus he's being chased by Baby Ryan Gosling...
It's amazing, they even have the same little smirk.
He was just introduced in the film, we have no idea who he is, and he dies in a spectacularly stupid fashion. Another one of those "how did this get set up?!" kind of things. The main trap story line is uninteresting, as is Detective Gosling's hunt for Hoffman.
Basically the question I had to keep asking myself was "who cares?"
I was in a film class and talking to a classmate about Saw VII. He hadn't seen anything but the poster I just posted, and asked me if it was a bit from the movie where society fully accepted Jigsaw's ways and were making a monument to him. That would have actually been a more interesting movie. Still dumb, but more interesting.
It has a freaking 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yep. Sounds about right. But hey, at least we get to see what happens when a person fails to get out of the Reverse Bear Trap... Trap. The twist isn't that great either, but I can say that it had been foreshadowed in the other Saw films, so there's that.
So there you go. The Saw films. As awful as they are, they are kind of guilty pleasures for me. Not too great, but fun to watch every once in a while. I haven't done a Saw marathon since college. They're bad, but they can be a little fun to go through. And hey, Billy is cool.
Also, I have a writing panel at Nightmare Night in Dallas this year (the last one!) so if anybody is going, I'll be there!
You know theirs a reboot right it’s either called jigsaw or saw
4701712
I said that in the opening paragraph.
Hey man what are your thoughts on the new Jigsaw movie coming out soon?
4701727
It's going to suck. A lot.
4701724
Oh I didn’t see it hold up
4701744
You sure
You got to be kidding me.
I assume this is just a typo? It actually were 45,000 dollars, right?
4701939
It's hyperbole. It earned 140 mil off a 1.2 million budget.
4701744
Let's just hope it will be better then saw Vll ,that was a train wreak
4701777
4701965
Damn it..... There I thought for a moment it could be true, because the movie seems so simplistic. Would have been amazing if it would be so easy to become rich by making a movie, if that 45 dollar budget would really be a thing, I would have said that I should try that, too.
I’ll be at Nightmare Nights!
4701965
Wow, That’s got to be one of the greatest ROIs in movie history.
4702113
Primer was made on a budget of around $7k and made a bit over $424k in the box office. So it really is possible to make a best selling movie on not a lot of money if you have a good idea and execute it well.
4702277
You will? You, uh... wouldn't happen to have an extra hotel room spot, would ye? At this point I'd take a spot on the floor.
4702429
I texted you, assuming your number hasn’t changed since the last time we were coordinating a room share
4702745
Yep, I got it.