Help, I need somebody · 5:25pm Oct 3rd, 2017
Help, not just anybody.
Okay so first of all, >blogposting. I know people don't come to this site to listen about me failing at being a human being. But this time around it's intertwined with a horse story, or more precisely lack of any progress in said horse story. Still, I'm putting TL;DR in bold letters at the bottom, so feel free to skip ahead.
And with that out of the way, to the issue at hand. Wow, I can't believe Morbid Curiosity is fucking kill. It's been 4 months already, huh? So where have I been? Did I travel abroad, visiting new countries? Did I pursue a path of self enrichment and changed my life for the better? Did I finally get a fucking job?
No, of course I didn't. I opened up the file containing fourth chapter. I sat staring at the screen. And then nothing happened. My job was simple - to turn greentext into a prose. Sure, the original was hot garbage and so I settled on re-writing it from scratch, but still that shouldn't be hard, right?
Well as it turns out, it was too hard for me. After absolutely no progress for a few days on end, I decided to lay it off for a while. Surely, this is just a temporary burnout from the mix of pushing through the finishing touches of the new ASMR scenario and closing days of my university, right? If I just let it sit for a while I'll get right back into it.
Except that I didn't. Not only that, I found myself drifting further and further away from the story. I just didn't have it in my head anymore. I didn't feel it. So perhaps I was just tired of that one thing in particular? Perhaps going after a random inspiration will allow me to break the ice and carve a path again, producing a neat shorter story in the process?
The flash of inspiration ended up being called Anon Saves Princess Luna From Her Imminent Demise. A short, light-hearted and quite frankly silly story based on a simple idea. As you can see, it was never finished. Following it, was Breathless. A much more feel-oriented short fic about Octavia. During its writing, I was positively elated. Finally, a story that was speaking to me, one that I saw, that I felt in my head, my heart. One that was causing emotions that I wanted to share, to convey. Needlessly to say, I never published it. Every day it sits there on my tab, and remains a painful testimony to my ineptitude as a writer. One of the harshest reminders, but not the harshest. Oh no.
That goes to the Facets of the Night. You know how some people have this big project in their head? Not just any project, The Project. Something they think about when driving home. When they go to sleep. When they are working on horsefiction unrelated to said project? This is mine. A story that has been in my head for over a year. A story that was falling together bit by bit, as I was coming up with new events, new names, new motives. A story I was at the same time afraid to actually start writing, in fear of it being inadequate to the bloated balloon of expectations I've since attached to it. In fear of abandoning it in the dust like I did to Morbid Curiosity and Rare Tea. A story that all the same caused me to come on this site and """revive""" the shenanigans of Anon and Ivory, as well as the accidental murderer Rainbow Dash. You see, I never expected MC to become this popular (not that I mind). I wanted to finish it for the 2-3 people who were originally reading it, while testing the water for my big amphibious assault with the Facets, the real heavy hitter. However, after failing the second (third technically) short story meant to push me back into the saddle (heh), I decided to let it go. If this darn thing was in my head all this time, if this was the only horse story I could think about, then maybe beginning to write it would untangle the knot?
I wrote 500 words. I've stopped having it in my head almost altogether since then. That was it. My Magnum Opus, the raison d'etre for this profile on this site. Gone like a soap bubble of hype with no substance behind it that it evidently was.
Never before have I chosen a profile picture as accurate as the current one.
And here we've come to the present day. With as much work done as I had in spring, and a whole lot of failure inbetween. But you know what they say about failure? It's an excellent teacher. Now, me being a horrible student probably negates a lot of wisdom, but not all of it. I'm pretty sure I've found the root of my shortcomings with horsewords - motivation. A lot of my work was historically done at some crazy hours like 4 am, where I just had the spark to go from. But waiting forever for those sparks is not viable. When it doesn't arrive, I can't just default to the state of low energy, waiting endlessly for a miracle that will never come. I need to act myself, I need to grab myself by the shirt and throw myself at the words. From the rubble, stories will emerge. But to do that, I need something else than just my self-wallowing. I need others to hold me accountable. I need others to have expectations. Because then, I will have reasons to keep going.
With all that over dramatised horseshoes in mind, Morbid Curiosity will recieve its fourth chapter by the end of next week. From then, a new chapter will arrive each two weeks, until I finish the damn thing. Additionally, I will publish Breathless by the end of the month. If I don't hold myself in a high enough esteem to keep me working, maybe disappointing others will do the trick.
Sick yo! I'm looking forward to seeing more updates, and I'm even more excited to see new stories from you. We're rooting for you my dude.
I wish you the best of luck, we're rooting for you!
That sounds like just like the same problem I've been having with my own writing (or lack thereof) since 2014. I know exactly how you're feeling right now.
So go and work on finishing Morbid Curiosity RIGHT NOW before the spark leaves forever and you never get anything finished ever again, like me.
u r doomed
Huzzah! I liked the writing style of what I read, and can't wait to see what you come up with
Okay. Can't wait for the next chapter and the new stories dude.
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I agree.
This nigga ain't gon stand a chance against the demon that is self-doubt, or the wraith-like creatures that scream at all hours of every day at one another and towards those who's stories they read.
But I'd like to see them try.
I've been writing the same story for almost 5 years now, and I've gotten no further than I was 4 years ago.
Believe me, it can get a lot worse.
I'm not a writer, so I can't tell I can one hundred percent relate to you. But I still want to say one thing.
Your stories are worth the wait.
Work at your own pace. If you want to try and set a deadline for yourself to get yourself back in the gear, sure.
Just know that there are people who appreciate your stories and are glad to see them being updated.
Now you listen hear, you're a great author and if you disagree with me than your a racist, sexist, homophobic, cisgender dumbhead and you need to check your writing, because it's amazing.
Wait the femnazi meme is dead, hold on, give me a few weeks to think of something else.
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The meme may be dead but the feminazis still remain to Heil their One True Leader, Anita.
You'll get there. You'll write all of these damn words. At the end of day, you're not just Turtle, you're Assault Turtle, and that means you'll break through.
OK, I win the award for slowest, most darn procrastinated response to your blog post.
I'm trying to glean what your writing process is. It sounds like your approach is to sit down and bang out the stories / chapters. Is that correct?
Have you tried the method that Georg describes? Part 1 and Part 2.
The only recommendations I'd add would be to put a section on the top or bottom if you need to add notes like "Needs more after X" or "Have to still resolve X problem".
One other thing. My process is not so neat as to start with a Wordpad .txt file or whatever. My stories start out looking like this, where I write down pieces of it whenever and wherever the Muse strikes me.
myhartt.com/sketch_notes.jpg