Fanfiction Idea · 10:36am Jul 18th, 2017
http://cherry-lei.deviantart.com/art/Ath-Lita-693263061
"Ath-Lita a second Earth Pony, a mare whom was bright yellow with a blue and pink streaked mane came rushing along. Her cutiemark was that of an Olympic medal."
I'm tired of making narcissistic OC's of me, but this one, I can't help. This is a "fanart" of a "fanfiction," created by a rather infamous...swell child. I still can't draw from imagination, but I'm practicing and this was the result. When I was doodling this, I noticed by the description above, I look like a palette swap of Twilight Sparkle. When I realized that, I didn't feel insulted, I love reading and learning, and honestly I'm quite an introvert in real life.
I didn't know MLP had chapter books, until I saw one in a bargain bin here in Manila. I bought Twilight,and finished reading it in one go. The story was okay, a bit weak if you adapt it into an episode, but i love the Brony puns. I'm planning on buying A.K Yearling's Daring Do collection soon.
The book inspired me to layout plan for a fanfiction, I'll try to reconstruct: Friendship is Failure #5: Pride and Punishment. It has a good concept, but as Legend Bringer pointed out in his riff, it's emotionally manipulative. There's no conflict in it, his problems were solvable from the start.
Speaking of narcissism, Talon Ted my brother inverse is one, it might look obvious but I didn't want to jump into conclusions, so I did some research:
10 Types of Emotional Manipulation - most importantly this
And confirmed my relationship with him inverse is toxic, he has all the qualities of an emotional manipulator as well. I'm not going into too much detail on this, as I'm saving it for another article, I'll post in DA. But it kinda makes you think, now that we established he's a megalomaniac.
A different interpretation would be: his sister a dedicated athlete, despite caring about his brother talon. She sees him as a waste of space and talent, and came to despise his mediocrity. This might explains why she chooses to run marathons, because it's representational of her desire to get away from domestic problems, eventually she developed a seething loathing for her brother, and hits him in the misguided belief it will straighten him out.
- now this makes a good story conflict and character flaw
Talon Ted is rich but he's nowhere near successful, since he chose the stubborn route, and he rely's on luck, while he constantly whines if he doesn't get his way and abandons his goals because of it. He had big dreams, but he kept blaming his misfortune on his sister and his circumstance, but never himself, thus he became blind to the opportunities. He has this superiority complex and all about me attitude, that if this fic was true to life, your friends would probably will give up on you. I don't even think the Mane Six has the tolerance for him.
Talon Ted also has the characteristic of a Mary Sue. There is no realistic consequence to his actions, his characterization is a mess, he's so stale, yet he moralizes a lot and is proven "right" in the end. However by not showing the consequences of Talon's action, the twist is his narrative depiction is a good case study on Narcissism. Watch the third YouTube link and compare. I may talk more about this after I finish writing my essay.
For now let me conclude that, Talon-Ted is not some tragic mistreated wreck of a character, but an entitled loser, who chooses to be stubborn, and burdens himself and others if he doesn't do things his way. And his way is the path to self destruction.
Honestly if the fic ended with a shred of reality, I would be happy to be rid of such a poisonous person.
This fanfic may take a long, long time to write, because I'm planning to make this into an E-book, chapter book complete with pictures, (if possible.) I still need to research and outline. Also I abruptly became busy all of a sudden, so you might wait for a year for me to complete this.
I need your opinion on this last one:
Who would make the better protagonist?
- The hardworking, determined athlete, who goes to the track to escape her domestic problems
- or the lazy rich narcissist, who can't admit his flaws, but is critical of others
First one, no contest.
Give both characters flaws, and while she works to overcome them he just ignores them, show the consequences of both the outcome and how the Mane 6 intend to work it out.
There's a lot of potential.
Looking forward to your work. Any problems, let us know.
I agree with Purple Patch, the first one would make the better protagonist.
4605137
I see, I'll do what I can to entertain you guys with my story, and I promise it won't physically hurt you when you read it. *cough* Mykan's creativity.
4605130
I am planning on giving both siblings a flaw. In the meantime, as I plan this I'm struggling at the view point, which one of the siblings would the audience be more emotionally interested in.
The thing is, Talon is an interesting character, if dissected further and if I can figure out how to make him sympathetic/likable. I've been reading about anti-heroes lately and so far I'm having a hard time finding a reason why the audience should care about him. Anti-heroes have drive and passion to succeed in their goals, and they have good traits that make us want to see them prevail in their mission, even though they're morally bankrupt.
Talon has none of those qualities, he has no goals, no drive and no ambition, other than the author shoving it in my throat and telling me (the audience) that he's talented, great and is persecuted by the cruel world boo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I'm pretty sure you understand what I mean, since you've introduced me to Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
4605237
Yeah, that presents us with a dilemma, doesn't it just.
Try what happened with Zephyr Breeze. When he realises he needs to fend for himself after his obnoxiousness and self-interest chases away everyone who's supported him, he finds out its not as hard as it looks and that it is his arrogance that's been the problem, not everyone else's supposed envy.
It would be slow for him but once he finally found out how to grow up and do something with his life, he could really develop.
The audience should only pity him when he's actually done something to deserve that pity.
Sitting on his arse, turning his back on the world and living in his tiny little fortress of ego is precisely the opposite of earning pity. It's earning nothing but disdain. Don't describe his personality, it'll speak for itself.
He's clearly a very unstable and insecure individual who only digs himself deeper who imagines himself undoubtedly virtuous despite all evidence to the contrary, with his meagre talents dwarfed by his pomposity, and alienates everyone who could help him without fully realising it. But his behaviour's still unwarranted and a hefty dose of tough love is required if there's any chance of him improving as a person.
4605272
Hey your ideas are good. I'll try to watch that episode and see what I can learn. Thank you for the suggestions
Is there any suggestion of parental favouritism in the fic in Ath-Lita and Talon's family?
Might, in some way, explain a few things.
If Ath-Lita was the favourite, it would explain her wish to make others proud and Talon's general apathy and spite.
If Talon was the favourite, it would explain his overwhelming self-importance and Ath-Lita's wish to make him a better individual.
4606439
I'll consider those ideas, based on reading about narcissism, it would help justify Talon's insecurities and subtle controlling nature. You are quite creative Purple
4608000
Happy to help.
And to even the scales.
I'd read it.
EDIT: Depending on how meta you want this story to be, and/or how closely you want to follow the original, 2 might be a good choice for a protag. Provided he learns something at the end, and makes some kind of concrete decision to learn from his mistakes.
Alternatively, if he doesn't, then the message could be that his behavior isn't something that people should try to imitate.
The first one actually sounds like a more compelling character, though. The latter just sounds like Zephyr Breeze is he were an asshole.
4609674
Thanks for the ideas. Stay tuned for the articles Im finishing up, it's quite a broad topic about emotions
4605237
Then do it, give him goals, insecurities,ambitions,make him a character.
give him contradictions, likes, dislikes, build him money (not that it would be necessary...) or lack of it, build him muscles, give him activities, build him intelligence,no matter what kind (yes, there is more than one kind of intelligence) build him relationships, build him attitude, build him dreams, if you want you can do a gradual transformation from "ughh, he is so cringey, why do we have to put up with his sh**" to "Hey, this char is not so bad, I really want to know more about him" to "This is definitively one of the best written characters in this story"
4663301
I see thank you for the tip. I'm planning to make this really special. All I need to do is establish his emotional depth, thank you. I really appreciate this
I wish you luck