Actually, I'm Dead: Reply to An-Twan Star's Review

And here we are, adding what could be pretty much the director's commentary to the story. Bear in mind this is a point-by-point review, so if you haven't read An-Twan Star's Review first (link here), I really recommend you to do so.

So, here it is:

I also vaguely remember writing the original, so we’re even there. Nightwalker deserves the credit for making it advance beyond that. Glad he convinced you to read this. Although it was mostly a thing I had back then to make chapters compressed and heavily emotional, he brought in the characterization of every character not named Trixie.

I think wht I really take pride on the opening act is the reactions. Although most of chapter 6 reads like a formula (Trixie meets M!Six => reactions), each one has it’s own tone and pacing. While the ‘harsher’ ones move quick, the ‘softer’ do at a more relaxed pace. As in the opening, Trixie’s state affects the narrative, so while she only wants to get out when Applejack shouts at her, she enjoys taking her time with Rarity. Twilight’s part was, to a big extent, the one of a side-kick, somehow mimicking Spike’s part in the intro of the series.

Chapter 6’s fourth part was actually build around subversions. The original idea was a more lighthearted scene of Fluttershy trying to keep composure while the animals were going all colors of crazy around them. Then we decided to go serious with it, actually playing the idea of stressed out animals straight. Also, as with when Trixie admitted she accepted the Amulet’s corruption to begin with, it was a good moment to remind the audience she is not a Draco in leather pants here. Glad you like the non-linear part. I honestly lost count of who were angry and who liked it, so let’s just add a like

*ding* +1 win

Pinkie’s party was also made under a similar idea around the subversions. She’s actually quite cunning in the series and I personally prefer her to be a ditz genius rather than just a ditz for the hell of it. Also, a big element of this fic was to stack the aesops from previous chapters, so, as you point out, Gilda’s fail party was part of Pinkie planning more carefully this time. Finally, the magic show was also out of guilt. We put Trixie under so much *yay* that I felt the hard need to give her a happy, borderline triumphant moment.

I think the selling point of the second arc was a back-to-basics feeling. There’s a reason it kicks in with Trixie back in the hospital room, but at the same time it marks the advances made since the last time. Then, she was in despair, but now she has friends supporting her. As you say, it was also a good way to show how much has been happening out of camera, like the investigation or Celestia’s real stance in all of this.

Also, the tornado line was supposed to continue from there, but I was already working in the funeral and realized it was a good cliffhanger. Thanks ‘Walker for helping me do that.

Speaking of the funeral, I think it was one of the most taxing sequences I’ve written for this fic. Is not the most complex, or the one that has most clues, but it was taxing. We wanted to translate all the emotions around loss we could, from Maud’s more resigned and silent sadness to Pinkie outright breaking down in the middle of the speeches. Same goes for some of the assistants, like the monk pony or the griffon. Speaking of, she’s based on the Vuvalini from Mad Max: Fury Road (WITNESS!), as you can see she makes the same gesture for someone dying.

Then, the Bone Mare. Holy mother of God, the Bone Mare. I also love world-building scenes, especially when they go in deep with mechanics that wouldn’t have appeared in the story properly. We did want death to have a heavy weight, but at the same time, in a setting like FiM, we knew we had to make it unique. That’s when making the Grimm Reaper a calmer guide to the afterlife came out. When it comes to her personality, Hope Lulamoon’s personality began as an older version of Trixie, still theatrical, but in a classic way. Like comparing Hitchcock with Spielberg; one is slow paced but impacting, while the other is impacting through the fast pace.

I do believe that Celestia thought that the Amulet was finally disconnected from Trixie, as she was in another plane of existence (allegedly). Nothing so far indicated that the Amulet was able to seek for a new bearer, as it was dormant when Trixie found it, so she had no real reason to expect it to come to life and burn half of her failsafe. Speaking of, the Black Room is supposed to be this impenetrable safe, to the point even knowing about it is beyond what Twilight –Celestia’s personal student- is allowed to know.

I have an special like for Geoff Johns’ Green Lantern. It Blackest Night: Equestria the story that got me into this fandom, so I always have some influences present. However, I feel that, combining elements from the Black and Red Lanterns make this sequence an animal of its own. Then, her scene with Berry was a good way to introduce how different she was now, to the point she wasn’t even recognizable as a pony.

The fight scene is a very affectionate homage to Mortal Kombat. If anything, it was like Sub-Zero fighting Scorpion for the first time. As you said, it starts with one of the kombatants being sure about it, but at the end they are on their heels and trying to finish the fight quickly. Also, I do love the idea of Luna being the more ‘aggressive’ of the two. Not outright boastful or as a warrior princess (although I like that last one), but more like a boisterous bruiser to contrasts her humbler sister.

The Rainbow Relationship was actually a surprise for us too. Okay, granted, to a point, she was the easier to get close to Trixie due to their similar personalities, but by the time of the funeral and the comeback, it was surprising to see her being the one who brings Trixie’s consciousness back. So, when we got that, we decided to develop more, turning the half-shot that was going to be the court scene into its own chapter. It was also a way to lead to the Lightning scene which we wanted to tell but had troubles placing up to that point.

Speakin’ off, that’s another that started as, let’s say ten lines maximum, and ended up being its own sequence. As with a lot of tropes before it, and the upcoming ones, we tried to either play it straight enough to have the desired outcome, but at the same time changed the set-up and development for it to avoid the cliché territory.

The first part of the end was along goodbye. Sure, it wasn’t the last calm scene, but it was the last one without a timer going on. That’s why we allowed ourselves more lightheartedness, as a way to begin at one end of the spectrum before going head-on to the other extreme.

And a dark extreme is what Discord brought. I wouldn’t call him a knight of Cerebus, since the fic already started quite dark, but he brought a different tone from the one that was present before. A giant influence here was the Pony POV Series, but I think we put the brake just before it became too dark. The important part of it was to establish Discord as a Godzilla threshold. Make clear the Princess ran out of options if they were risking to free him.

Yes, it’s the Gravity Falls compass. Thanks for noticing.

The divination was our way to bring an old “how did we get here” recap. Also, it shows some of Trixie’s development, as she has a reason to mistrust her friends, something she would have in the beginning of the fic, but decides against it. Lightning’s attitude with Trixie is a way of showing her gratitude. When they met at the bar, Lightning was in the bottom of the barrel. There were some signs of depression in the bar scene. So, she sees Trixie as this one pony who offered a helping hoof when she most needed it, and needs to express her gratitude through the same support.

I think that’s what makes this story a tragedy. A possible solution was present and, had things play in a different way, it would have worked out. That’s an element that I feel most of writers, especially on this site, forget. Tragedy isn’t just a succession of bad or sad things happening, but the presence of a possibility and it being passed over. Again, Trixie unwilling to take a risk for the sake of her friends was part of her development.

The backstory of the Amulet is heavily influenced by Grant Morrison’s Final Crisis, which on itself is a spiritual successor of Jack Kirby’s New Gods. Bottom-line, what we wanted to do with the Alicorn Amulet was to build up a mythology, an arche principle for the world of the story. We take the already present axis of harmony and chaos from the series, and add the other dimensions of life and death, plus light and darkness, thus creating an actual space around the idea. That’s another personal opinion I have on writing; There should be a goal for very story to make something even bigger than what’s shown, if only to give a meaning behind the forefront.

Lightning Dust arc, with only what’s seen ‘on-screen’ does come out as too quick. However, I always had a guess that she isn’t the villain because she isn’t good, but because she isn’t mature. In canon, when shown the consequences of her acts, her first response is a ‘not my fault’, which does happen a lot in real life. But if the famous deleted scene is anything to go by, she is not beyond understanding her mistakes and try to make up for it. To reflect that, we did break Lightning’s transition in parts, only that we showed the early stages as cameos.

First, the funeral and the fact she’s nowhere to be seen there. When the consequences reach the worst-case scenario, she hides from it. Then we have the early court mention, where she’s shown all too happy over a quick solution, meaning she’s still trying to deny her own responsibility. However, by the bar scene, after she’s faced with the consequences of her actions, she shows a willingness to accept a punishment, in the form of a bar fight. After that, she continues her willingness to admit her mistakes, albeit after receiving a proper direction from someone else, and that’s the turning point. Pretty much like Twilight with Trixie, Trixie is now the guide in helping another pony to make amends. The last glimpse of it we see before stuff hits the fan is the ring fight with Rainbow Dahs, where Lightning is now even facing a more rudimentary version of a trial in order to atone for her mistakes.

Now, let’s talk about the ‘we can rule together’ and ‘defiant to the end’ tropes. On the former, I prefer it way better when the villain invokes it from a position of power. It cements that he’s in control of the situation, to the point of allowing himself be kind. On the other hand, it separates the ‘generic doomsday villain’ from the, well, actual ones. There’s a pragmatism in the villain conquering instead of destroying, even if the former only serves to the later, that makes it all the more menacing, because it’s shown a more strategic side of him.

On ‘defiant to the end’ I have a more straight answer: I love it.

It can be a real life example, like the 40:1 resistance in Poland, or the Spartans in the Thermopiles. If I were more patriotic, I would invoke my Latin American side, ranting over how it reminds me of my ancestors rising up to the oppressive and overpowered Spaniards. I mean, seeing the hero bashed, burned, beat and destroyed, and yet she’s still picking herself up and charging again. That just shows a conviction, a resolve, maybe even a need of keep going. That’s a serious B.J. Blazkowicz level of determination. And yes, I enjoyed writing those lines thoroughly.

Both together do bring back the element of tragedy to it all. Just some days, a week tops, prevented Lightning from accepting a deal with the devil, even in order to save herself. If only Twilight, or any of the others, had lend a hoof to Trixie back in Boast Busters, none of this would be happening. Yes, Trixie is the one who took the devil’s hand, but knowing that the heroes could have prevented it makes it more striking. This was spoofed when Pinkie breaks in the funeral, after realizing she always was just a family visit away from Trixie, either to prevent this all, or just help a pony in need.

And that brings us to the end, which was always meant to be abrupt as a punch to the face. Not when everything is said and done, not when they reach the ending, not even when all the characterizations hit a full arc, but when the options run out. There always was a countdown present, and even if sometimes the characters –and hopefully the reader- forgot, the clock kept ticking.

I would say that the mayor point of the fic, when it comes to structure, was that ‘Walker and I combined the characterizations with the world building. It’s not anything that new or breaking, but it’s hard enough to be a good challenge. So, instead of going directly on either explaining a character, or exposing how things happen, we had both functioning together, so neither side would feel overexposed. That also makes the story denser, as the reader has to stay on his heels in order to catch the glimpses and clues that will play a major part later.

Another key element is our relationship with tropes. I’m such a huge tropes fan, that my mind kinda works with them. So, at the moment of writing, I have that ‘sense’ of self-awareness when reaching certain tropes. When that happens, I usually boil it down to two options: deconstruct it or reconstruct it. The former is a way to show an alternative and go around the idea but applying to a different space from where it usually work. The later is me being a fanboy and cracking everything up to eleven in order to leave a mark in the audience.

So that’s my reply. Again, thank you very much for the review, and a big ‘thank you’ the everyone reading this. Hope to see you at I, Monster, which is going to be like the Magnum Look “I hear it’s gonna blow us all away”.