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Another story review : Blood on the Snow · 7:22am Mar 17th, 2017

So, I wanted to attempt another story review. This time the story will be the tragic story Blood on the Snow by Chocovich.

Blood on the Snow is a beautifully written tragedy. In this story Apple Bloom is blinded by a Timberwolf attack. Afterwards, she must find a way to adapt to her change in lifestyle.
And might I add, the author does an excellent job with this piece. After having read the story through about three times, I don’t see anything in here that doesn’t feel of excellent, or even professional quality.

The story starts off simply enough, Apple Bloom is playing with her friends on a snow day…. Apparently, Apple Bloom has a killer accuracy with snowballs. Afterwards, while Apple Bloom is going home, her bow is tugged off by a tree. Apple Bloom doesn’t notice, however, until she sees herself in a mirror on her way to get hot cocoa from the kitchen.
Apple Bloom decides to leave her hot cocoa on the kitchen table, and have herself and Big Mac rush out to find her missing bow… the importance of which is never explained. They retrace Apple Bloom’s steps, only to get accidentally separated during the search. Apple Bloom does find her bow, however it gets carried towards the outskirts of the farm by a wayward breeze.
When Apple Bloom finds her bow, she also finds that she’s inadvertently dashed into the middle of a pack of Timberwolves. Her screams for help, are quickly answered by Big Mac, who gallops to try to bridge the difference between the two. His best efforts are not enough, as Apple Bloom’s head gets bitten by a Timberwolf, who jumps her from behind.
Apparently, Big Mac goes full on Chuck Norris after this, and takes out the pack on his lonesome. However, Apple Bloom can’t open her eyes, she can only tell he saved her because of the sounds. After that she passes out from the pain.
Apple Bloom awakes in the hospital, some time later (possibly days later). She’s confused because padding is covering her eyes. Applejack is the first to notice Apple Bloom is awake. Applejack then gives Apple Bloom a huge hug. Apple Bloom and Applejack have a good cry… Applejack because she’s been worried sick about Apple Bloom, and Apple Bloom for both worrying Applejack, and from getting her head gnawed on.
After this touching moment, it is revealed that Big Mac is also in the room. Apparently, he’s been feeling guilty for losing sight of Apple Bloom for the one or two minutes it took to get her in this mess. It is about this time that Apple Bloom begins to suspect that she’s been blinded.
Big Mac and Applejack leave after a knock on the door. Apple Bloom is uncertain why, but she suspects that they are either cleaning up after waiting so long for Apple Bloom to wake up, or the doctor is going to run some tests. The latter turns out to be the case.
The doctor’s examination, rather, quickly informs us that: 1) Apple Bloom is, in fact blind. And, 2) Her eyes will otherwise heal fine.
Apple Bloom then cries herself to sleep (and has nightmares afterwards), from both stress, and memories of the Timberwolf attack. However, she isn’t alone, as Big Mac apparently sheds some tears of regret with her.
The next day, Apple Bloom’s friends, the Oranges, and her cousin Babs visit to comfort her. After their visit, Applejack and Big Mac visit again. And, they come with Apple Bloom’s bow… the very same one she got attacked trying to retrieve. It’s about this time that Apple Bloom realizes how pyrrhic a victory getting the ribbon back had proven to be.
Several mornings later, Apple Bloom is sent home by the doctor after one final exam. Apparently, she’s blind, but her eyes can still open and close, and are otherwise health.
Big Mac then takes her home, where a surprise party is waiting for her. Apparently between Apple Bloom’s friends, the Oranges, Babs Seed, and Applejack’s friends, the party was a success… so much so that Apple Bloom is reluctant to leave. However, when it gets late, Big Mac carries her home on his back.
Apple Bloom returns to school after a two month break, only one of which was actually a part of school break. She's still needing her family to lead her around when she’s at home, as well as help with several other mundane tasks... including getting her to school.
Naturally, the first thing that happens when Apple Bloom arrives, is that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon decide to kick her when she’s down (apparently picking on Apple Bloom is easier when she cannot see them, or fight back).
When the only get a marginal rise out of Apple Bloom, they up the anti by making fun of the nice note Big Mac left in her lunch bag to help raise her spirits, and then eating… and stepping on… Apple Bloom’s lunch. Thankfully, Cheerilee catches them in the act, and dispenses punishment. But, this doesn’t help Apple Bloom’s souring mood, and growing depression.
Needless to say, the chapter (and story, unfortunately) ends with Apple Bloom going to bed in tears.

Flow and pacing
I have no complaints about flow or pacing in this story. It doesn’t have any details in there that feel out of place. Instead, all details seem relevant, and drive the story well.

The focus on this story also seems quite good. All details keep the focus on Apple Bloom and her struggle. And, there are no details added that feel superfluous, or out of place.

The characters are spot on in this one. Apple Bloom feels in character, especially considering she is suffering from guilt and stress from her traumatic event. Big Mac, likewise has a believable sense of guilt. Both Applejack and Big Mac care for Apple Bloom in a way that feels like it fits their strong relationship with Apple Bloom.
However, some might complain about Diamond Tiara’s characterization in this tale. I, however, feel it is right along her season three and four characterization. While figuratively kicking Apple Bloom when she is down may feel low, even for them, we need to consider that Diamond Tiara did a similar thing to Scootaloo in Season four, when she made a point to rub Scootaloo’s possible disability in her face.

In my opinion, descriptiveness is where the story shines the brightest. Everything is adequately described, sights, smells, and even sounds. I never felt like I was being bombarded by a wall of dialog or exposition.

I love this story, and once again, I feel like the author did an extraordinary job writing it. I wish the author had written more. However, the author wrote a blog over two year ago, indicating that they would no longer be working on this, or any other, story.
Needless to say, I hope somebody write a fanfiction sequel to this story someday… at least so that I can see a happy ending to this tragic tale.

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