COMICS, PART 3: Jeremy Whitley, Sara Richard · 2:33pm Feb 17th, 2017
Jeremy Whitely has a reputation for some..... external drama. Let's not bring any of that up. I'll just look at his written comics and decide if they're good enough on their own. Maybe he's got the talent to back up his ego! Let's enter the magical world of Equestria through his vision!
I feel like the odds of me writing the best Rarity & Applejack story are not very good, but I do have the best Rarity & Babs Seed story because it's the only one.
- Jeremy Whitley, Bronycon 2016 comic creators panel
I didn't check the site too closely, but that might be true. As far as I know, he has the only Rarity & Babs Seed story. (Friends Forever #13)
Babs Seed was planning to meet up with Sweetie Belle when she visited Manehattan with Rarity, but Sweetie Belle got an ear infection and had to stay home. So Rarity decides to spend the afternoon with Babs Seed to get to know her better.
Rarity takes Babs to a bunch of fashion-type stuff that the filly has no interest in. Babs gets bored and leaves. Rarity gets preached at by Sapphire Shores about how she sees herself in Babs because Rarity's parents didn't understand her passions either. Rarity returns to Babs and takes her to a Roller Derby. Here renders the lesson: everypony has a different sense of style, and it's more important to love your friends even if you don't love the same things.
Wait, isn't this the exact same lesson as the "Sisterhooves Social" episode? Except: Rarity and Babs Seed have absolutely nothing in common, have no sisterly bond, and the climax isn't nearly as heartwarming, and there's no tension. This is "the best Rarity & Babs Seed story" indeed. It's so boring and unoriginal.
Someone on this site should write their own Rarity & Babs Seed fanfic. It won't be too difficult to claim that "best" title. 
Whitley seems to have a recurring problem with putting together characters that have no chemistry. He's done quite a few Friends Forever issues, where the whole point is to make a story about a unique character pairing. Last review I wrote about how Ted Anderson was pretty good at this, he'd find potential in some unexpected pairings, discovering unspoken common ground to build his stories on. Some issues turned out better than others, but they all had an honest core. Whitley though... his pairings don't match up well, and he doesn't justify them through development.
He wrote Pinkie Pie & Luna (Friends Forever #7). They don't really get along. Pinkie's just kind of an instructor instead of a lead character, teaching Luna how to be funny, but Luna fails to learn. There's a hint of an interesting conflict, that Luna really only wants to beat Celestia instead of improving herself, but it's stated and then ignored. Pinkie could've been replaced by anypony, this story isn't about her at all. The plot is contrived and awkward, and the jokes aren't all that funny to me. Maybe others will find it amusing, though. Could be worse.
I suspect Whitley likes Luna, because he wrote several more issues about her. Luna & Spike (Friends Forever #14) is the one where Fillydelphia has a dragon ghetto, despite nothing in the show ever suggesting that dragons co-exist with ponies. They're wild creatures who migrate across the sky! They have their own culture and society! Why redesign them like this?! 
He's trying to make a lesson about stereotyping, in the most cliche way possible. Zootopia this aint. Also it's a mystery story, which Spike solves by randomly finding the culprit by chance. Princess Luna's only role in this story is to be wrong constantly, so she can apologize to Spike in the end. In other words, she's only a plot device.
Luna & Cutie Mark Crusaders (Friends Forever #28) (the CMC count as 1 character? cheater!) is about a sleepover in Canterlot Castle. Celestia is conveniently called away, so Princess Luna has to babysit the children. Sweetie Belle thinks it's going to be like Harry Potter Harriet Pinto books, full of monsters and zany adventures. Hah hah, silly girl. Luna angsts over how she used to be a villain (again) and doesn't now how to handle a pack of children, but the CMC help her by guiding her through sleepover activities. Oh, at least the main leads are working together.
Except the story's really about an OC filly who is being bullied. She gets upset and wanders off alone. CMC and Luna search for her, and.... they encounter a wandering monster (table 3A). They must save the OC from a Mirrorca, a terrifying creature of chaos magic who has not been foreshadowed at all! On the same page it appears, Luna must explain how the Mirrorca is immune to magic. OC filly just happens to have the perfect special talent that can defeat the monster, which she explains for the first time right here, yay! The random battle is over as soon as it begun! Level up for everyone!
But, but.... Canterlot Castle isn't Hogwarts! Why are there mysterious creatures haunting the empty halls, when Twilight specifically said that doesn't happen? When we know it doesn't happen in the show? Why force this plot into the setting where it doesn't belong? Why- what- who- where- whitley- 
There's one more Luna issue, and it's pairing her with Discord (Friends Forever #20). Whitley writes a lot about Discord too. I guess these are his favorite characters, so maybe he has an interesting idea to use them together. Discord's bad dreams are causing collateral chaos magic in Ponyville, so Luna must enter his dreams to discover the source of his anxiety. The inside of Discord's mind, now that's ripe for crazy chaotic hijinks.
Discord avoids the obvious forbidden door over and over so he can enter other dreams. They're all wacky pop culture references. A reality show about Rarity, a sitcom about Twilight, etc. I got just as impatient as Luna and wanted him to hurry up and go through the correct door. None of these interludes were important, they were just padding. So they enter the dream about his deep dark repressed fears and.... it's a goddamn Firefly parody. Argh. Then there's an entire page of dialogue where they work out how Discord is afraid of caring about his friends. The end.
All the non-sequitur comedy filler means the core of the story had to be rushed in the last 3 pages, and the lesson is communicated through preachy lecturing instead of an empathetic development. There's a certain line you can't cross with Discord, going too far from Robin Williams Genie and focusing entirely on Family Guy style cutaway gags. During later seasons of Family Guy, my friends loved the random gags and would talk about them the next day, but when asked about the episode's storyline, they couldn't remember a thing! I feel like the exact same thing happened here with Discord.
Discord gets an issue with the CMC (Friends Forever #2) where they ask him to do random things to help find their cutie marks. Here again, it's a series of non-sequitur gags and scenarios. In the end, some lesson is learned, and Discord is invited to be a member of the CMC.... through some heart-to-heart dialogue. But how did the CMC find anything in common with him? Discord's character wasn't portrayed at all beyond providing the chaos magic to set up the plot. What the- why- how did-
Whitley's Discord appears again (Main Series #24), where he goes on a time-traveling adventure with the CMC and Fluttershy. Huh, this sounds familiar. It borrows a little too much from Dr Who, and I wouldn't mind that if it weren't another series of irrelevant cutaways. Not as rapid-pace this time, it at least tries to explore one of the time periods (more like alternate universe), but I don't care much about the fate of pastel-colored Egyptian cats.
The CMC get snatched away by a roc. Fluttershy accuses Discord of being an irresponsible friend. Hey, this is a pretty good double-conflict! Discord has to correct this mistake, and he might have to develop a little maturity to win back Fluttershy's trust. Not bad, I kinda like this--
Oh, wait. We're on the last 3 pages already. We wasted too much time on the egyptian cats side-story. Fluttershy faints from overexhaustion, and Discord whistles for help. Discord's butterdragon friend solves the problem OFF-SCREEN. 
Discord apologizes and they go home.
I am getting sick of this writer. Can I stop? No, I can't, I'm only halfway through. 
Here's a unique issue (Main Series #23). A silent comic told through the POV of the Mane 6's pets. Every pony in town has gone missing, and Angel Bunny discovers that they've been mind-controlled by a kelpie's singing. The ponies are being forced to demolish the local dam, which will flood Ponyville! Pets to the rescue!
The pets' solution is to steal some magic potions from Zecora's hut to carry out a plan. Solving everything with superpowers is a bit disappointing. And it's not really a silent comic, because the animals talk through emojis. It's distracting, and everything they say could've been communicated through Mebberson's visuals instead. So that's another minor cop-out, but it's not a total dealbreaker. I can let it slide.
The major cop-out is that it breaks the animal POV for the last two pages so the ponies and kelpie can talk, now that the spell is broken. Yeah, they stand around explaining everything. Whitley almost had a good idea going here, but didn't stick to his discipline. It's no longer an artistic decision, but more like a convenient gimmick for the first 20 pages. There's no dialogue because the ponies weren't there, but when the ponies wake up we need dialogue again. It could've been so much stronger if he didn't break his own self-established rule.
It would also mean dropping the problematic explanation at the end. The Kelpie had good intentions! The water sprites needed to get to the ocean but got stuck at the dam. But wait, water flows TO the ocean, and the sprites are downstream of the dam. Wait, if you can talk, why not ask the ponies for help? Wait, if you can mind-control Twilight Sparkle and use her magical powers (in the fight against Angel), why not use her powers to safely move the water sprites? Oh I give up. 
Rainbow missed the part where the kelpie made the ponies attack the pets. And then allowed the ponies to get attacked by a giant housecat. She was mind-controlled so she doesn't know the Kelpie's crimes were even worse.
If you want to suddenly redeem a villain, you have to build up to it by at least trying to make them just a teensy bit sympathetic! Some fans still don't like how Starlight Glimmer was handled, but at least the show tried to show her relatable side, and why Twilight might find a reason to forgive her. But here, Twilight immediately shrugs if off as "something silly" only 15 seconds after hearing that the destruction of Ponyville and all its inhabitants was all for a good cause, and she was just misinformed on the facts because she was being controlled against her will! 
YES I'M MAD.
I noticed that the kelpie never actually apologized. And she still looks indignant that Rainbow doesn't unconditionally accept and forgive her. This is like Gordon Frohman levels of unrepentance, except not trying to be a parody.
On a side note, I wonder if giant Opal killed any ponies? I don't trust a housecat to be gentle. Maybe she ate some.
Does Whitley strongly sympathize with misunderstood villains or something? He also did a comic pairing Diamond Tiara & Silver Spoon (Friends Forever #16), even though, uh, they're already an inseperable pair in the show. The story's about how they do anything they can to win a school scavenger hunt, as long as the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't win. They cheat and sabotage them constantly, naturally. It's meant to be ironic, because in the end the CMC also get the same prizes, which Tiara and Spoon didn't want in the first place and can't enjoy. But even though they're miserable, they're still winners, and that's all that counts.
I'd say it's Whitley's best story, because these two just have to be jerks and bullies, and it fully satisfies that requirement. It works well enough, and there's no forced misunderstanding about their nature. I feel like it could've been better, since they don't develop or learn any lesson at all. And it hardly examines their friendship at all, which I would've liked to read. Everything's focused on their little plans to slow down the CMC in the race. They abandon the OC they hired for help, giving the CMC a chance to prove they're better friends, yet the bully duo are still rewarded on a technicality. Hrmm, clever, but isn't this a bit too cynical for the world of MLP?
Speaking of cynical, there's another issue (Friends Forever #26) where Shining Armor and Prince Blueblood must travel to Yakyakistan as official envoys. Shining thinks he's shallow, but he might turn out to be charismatic enough. Another 'misunderstood villain' theme, you see. Shining ends up insulting the Yaks by trying to suck up to them, and then Blueblood steps in with some machiavellian manipulation and WAIT WAIT HOLD YOUR HORSES. The show already did this exact same plot and moral! 
Pinkie Pie imitated the yaks to try to flatter them, but learned that patronizing flattery can sometimes backfire. It was a good-natured lesson about honesty and rejecting pretense, making friends by expressing who you are. It pretends to be about diplomacy, but it's really a friendship lesson. Whitley took it too literally, redid the exact same setup with the exact same antagonists, only twisting it back into calculated diplomacy. The advice is true enough I suppose, but isn't this a children's comic? Why use sneering cynicism as a moral? Has he completely missed the point of MLP? This offends me more than the kelpie. 
The King Sombra one-shot (FIENDship #1) is the least offensive. Probably because he gets to ignore annoying things like canon, and write about an undeveloped villain who lived in the Crystal Empire 1000 years ago. He twists around MLP to do whatever he wants, so at least in this unexplored territory he can't cause any damage. It's a melodramatic backstory, with Sombra being a lost child of the Umbrum (Shadow Ponies) and that's why he's different and hates everyone. Except for the girl who believes in him because they love each other, but he still turns to the dark side of the Force and hunts down all the Jedi, but has to be destroyed by Princess Obi-Wan Celestia.... zzzz.... something like that. Sombra was designed to look edgy, so I guess this cliche is a decent fit for him. At least it won't ruin any other stories because it's all in the past. 
...
Gotcha! It's not over yet! He used this backstory to lead-in to his 4-part "Siege of the Crystal Empire" arc (Main Series #34-37). I hope you're ready for this!
Page 1
Narration: The arctic wastes beyond the crystal empire. For generations they were used as a prison for the worst of monsters. Absent the terrifying charm of Tartarus. Also absent its revolving door. The reality is that it ended up being the place the two sisters put monsters they had no concept of how to hold.
Wait wait wait. "Revolving Door"??? Tartarus isn't like Arkham Asylum. After 6 seasons, only ONE GUY has escaped ONCE. Is this some snark on the tropes of the show? Is Whitley implying he could do better, and that's why he wrote this new prison that's better than the one in canon? Does he even like the show? This is only page 1 and already I'm disturbed by his attitude. He's not just adding to the canon, but «correcting» it.
Can I just start making fun of this comic? I need a way to cope, or I'll just end up more upset and miserable. 
Okay so this comic starts by having a mysterious hooded pony invite various villains from the show to team up and get their revenge on the Mane 6. Dastardly villains such as: Flim & Flam! Iron Will! Lightning Dust! Queen Chrysalis...? Whitley actually thinks these antagonists are equally evil. They go to the Crystal Faire and are a bit annoying, except for Chrysalis who directly attacks with a swarm of changelings. They all get captured like the ineffective buffoons they are (including Chrysalis lol) but it was all a diversion! Mysterious hooded pony stole the crystal heart in the confusion! She's the girlfriend from his 1000-year old backstory, and she's bringing him back into physical form! It's an apology for requesting Celestia and Luna to blast him in the first place. Whoopsy.
So even though Sombra has accepted that he's an evil monster, Mary Sue insists that it's his destiny to save his people, the Umbra shadow ponies, because they're not evil at all. Just cute whimsical pixies. Imprisoned in another realm out of prejudice and fear. The Crystal Ponies are the real villains! Sudden twist: the shadow ponies turned out to be evil all along, they just tricked Mary Sue for all those centuries she lived with them. WHOOPS TOO LATE Sombra already released them into Equestria because you told him to.
He rips off the famous interrogation scene from Star Wars. I don't think this counts as homage or parody, because he's copying it (almost word-for-word) for the same dramatic effect without irony. Petrification can be reversed, so there's no permanent loss anyway. The rebellion comes out of nowhere, apparently all the other ponies escaped and are attacking the Crystal Empire from the outside. But how did Twilight and Cadance even know they exist, when they were captured at the end of the last issue? He forced a Star Wars ripoff without even trying to make it fit logically!
Then the battle begins and Mary Sue convinces Sombra to stop being evil and be good, or they're gonna break up. He says yes, and they backstab the Shadow Ponies they unleashed, redeeming them in everypony's eyes. It's a good thing Sombra was here to save us from Sombra. They use magic to save his life after his noble self-sacrifice, and he's free to live with Mary Sue happily ever after with no consequences. I get he's trying to do some kind of Darth Vader character arc about a conflicted soul saved by belief, but it would've been pretty awkward if Vader lived in the end and joined the rebels. Celestia and Luna don't seem bothered at all by him turning them to stone, so maybe it's not really that painful.
This is the laziest and sloppiest villain redemption ever. And this is coming from someone who could forgive Starlight Glimmer's story for its obvious flaws. Even I can't bring myself to forgive this arc. It's painful. Andy Price's beautiful artwork is wasted on it. 
I think I actually hate this author. This professional writes below fanfic-level. I'd rather read the most-downvoted fics on this site. At least those people actually care about MLP.
Sarah Richard mostly does variant cover illustrations. But she also worked on a few comic pages here and there. (Friends Forever #31, Main Series #25)
Vibrant colors! Delicate style! Flowing compositions! This is beautiful. 
Ahhh.... the world's not all miserable. Maybe there's good things in it too. 
why does bad professional writing exist
I didn't actually mind FF2 much, I think because I had just finished all the... whatever the miniseries that focused on one pony that came before that, and most of those were... really not good? Also because the the rest of Whitley's work wasn't out, and it wasn't an obvious sign of "oh my god he's going to keep doing this, but worse and worse as it gets even less applicable".
...but mostly it was because of this series of panels, maybe. derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/2/26/561969.png
I have a huge fondness for exploring villains and their motivations, too, but Whitley doesn't seem to understand this at all. You call out fiendship for not being that bad, but it establishes that Sombra was evil because – two magic crystals told him he was going to be? And the second one ambigiously mind controls him into it? The story is so close to putting him in a situation where it seems like his best option is to sabotage everything to preserve what he cares about— but nope! "It was like someone had turned on a switch in my brain!"
Despite literally all of his previous characterization, he's Evil now! Because of destiny magic crap, or maybe biology? What is that supposed to say about morality at all?
eugh.
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yeah FF2 was enjoyable at first because of one-off gags like that. it's only in hindsight when I started keeping track of who wrote which issues that I started to notice that's where all these patterns began. even most of the "continuity" in the comics, such as Discord becoming an honorary CMC, was just this one guy.
his FIENDship is quite stupid but.... it was self-contained stupid about a character I don't care about?
until he turned it into continuity, yuck. I guess it got some points in the moment similar to how you read FF2 -- it was less boring than the other FIENDship episodes (except the Chrysalis one) and more consistent with the expected tone.
in his defense, maybe this shows that he's not the worst writer in quality, because he's pretty close to making a good story, while others are confused about the basics of storytelling and write boring comics. but he consistently misuses the characters and themes of the show, and I think that makes him... dangerous.
Yeah I recall not liking that one. A lot of the Friends Forever comics (this was a Friends Forever, right?) are kinda ho-hum. Not the worst, not very good either. I know there have been ones I enjoyed, but I think it's showing something when I have difficulty recalling out of the fog which those were. I can recall far more of the main series, even if I didn't think that much of them, simply because they did something memorable (Nightmare Rarity, for example).
I did actually kinda like the Luna and Discord one. I liked that he pities Fluttershy and others because they actually believe he can be more than what he is, when he can't. O-kay, I know, here (and in the show, bleh) he does become more than what he is. I'm quite against the idea of character growth with Discord (for reasons), but in my opinion if he were ever to have a shred of real humanity, this is how it would manifest. A sort of half-wish ponies like Fluttershy wouldn't trust him because it'll blow up in their face, even though it would actually give him more to laugh at and mock them for and harangue them about.
Also as a side note...I think where Whitley (and most others) goes wrong with Discord is he fails to realize that what makes him a great character isn't all his tricks and gags and nuttiness. It's his intelligence, and ability to not only outwit our beloved ponies, but to expose their weaknesses. Everything else is just dressing on the salad.
It's the same kind of problem people have with Pinkie, in my opinion.
Oh, and Siege of The Crystal Empire was garbage. Just...total garbage. Thinking about it still makes me want to strangle everypony in that arc for their utter stupidity.
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about 2/3 of the Friends Forever run has been written by the same three people, so it feels repetitive quickly. it's like they're churning out stories as filler, because the better writers are busy with the main series? I can only count 4 issues I really enjoyed, and maybe another 4 that were alright.
the Luna/Discord one comes close to an interesting conflict, I just wish it wasn't crammed in the last 2 pages. just like the other Discord issues. I don't know why he keeps doing that!
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I can't even count to 4. Not without going back and peeking at the issues again. I feel the same way, the stories largely feel bargain bin. Like, they acknowledge it's a secondary series and so they never really attempt anything beyond the equivalent of a fanfiction one shot written over the weekend--I mean that in terms of emotional impact. The stories are mostly slice of life; all the big adventures go to the main series. Slice of life is what mlp has always excelled at, because the way it's set up really suits that. So you would expect that to be the case here. But, it's the opposite, mostly.
That's a good question. I think...I think it might be because he doesn't know it can't be. This is where getting direct feedback in fanfiction is such a major benefit. You'll learn pretty quickly if you're doing something this structurally unsound. You're probably more isolated as a professional writer. I can imagine Whitley (without actually knowing the guy) thinking it requires no more than two pages to develop solid character growth and emotional impact. Unless you get direct, unfiltered feedback or you watch/read a healthy dose of reviews, there's a lot of principles you just won't know.
I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong.
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now that I look back at my 4 favorites i picked out from Friends Forever, 3 of them were brisk adventures. and they were fun because they only used 2 characters (not 6 or 7 or 8) and didn't need to be overambitious with villains and universe-altering effects. just a quick little adventure with a simple resolution. fun!
maybe this is what they should've been doing all along. and the main series could instead have multi-issue arcs about slice of life friendship problems
i've solved it!!
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You've got it, really. I doubt they'd ever do a multi-part slice of life story, because a lot of people likely think that sort of thing wouldn't interest readers. Which is only the case for poorly done slice of life.
But even the one shot slice of life issues could easily be a lot more meaningful than they are.
The adventures could be better if they threw in more personal conflict. Like, I want to see Rarity and Twilight have to go fight a monster/whatever after they've had a big argument. Something like that. You could do it with the entire mane six. The adventures rarely have any bearing on their relationships, or anything else that's personal to them.