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There's an awful lot of awful things we could be thinking of, but for just one day let's only think about love | Buy me a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/chillybook

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WWE Royal Rumble 2017: My Thoughts · 8:30pm Jan 30th, 2017

I don't blog like I used to, so I figured I'd get back into it. I used to talk about things I liked and disliked, so let's do that with WWE's 2017 Royal Rumble pay-per-view. I was looking forward to Rumble for weeks, and I don't think I can say that I'm disappointed, not entirely. There were some hits and misses, and several points where I was genuinely baffled by WWE's actions.

Spoilers for the Royal Rumble, I guess, though I have no clue why you'd click this if you didn't already see the PPV.

I'm not going to talk much about the pre-show (I missed the woman's tag match and Nia v Sasha was nothing too special), but I will mention the tag title match of Cesaro/Sheamus v The Club. Now, I don't think anyone doubted this match. When Sheamus is good, he's pretty damn amazing, and I don't think I've seen a Cesaro match that left me disappointed. Not to slight The Club, because they're always amazing (except when they're being mishandled). Solid match, both teams looked strong, and The Club walked off with the straps, which genuinely surprised me. I didn't think the title would change hands on the pre-show, and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it cheapens the Raw tag titles. Frankly, that match shouldn't have been anywhere near the pre-show. It makes the belts feel next to worthless. On the other hand, it's about damn time that Gallows and Anderson got the gold, and hopefully this will end their stagnant run of "do nothing, start beef, eight man tag with Primo and Epico vs Cesaro/Sheamus and The New Day". Good match, and it made me glad I watched the pre-show.

Then, there was Charlotte v Bayley for the Raw Women's championship. Much like Nia v Sasha Banks and (I'm sure) the Smackdown Live six-woman tag match, this was a solid match, but nothing surprising. We all know that Bayley and Charlotte can wrestle their asses off, and they were both in form there. The outcome was quite obvious, on account of Charlotte's current undefeated streak for PPV title matches. I predict that Bayley will chase the title, to no avail, all the way to 'Mania.

Kevin Owens v Roman Reigns, with Chris Jericho in the shark tank... What can I say about that match, really? I was terrified that they were planning to put the Universal title on Reigns. Happy to say they didn't (though they used Roman in a way that made me very unhappy later, but we'll get to that). Solid match, I suppose. KO is always great, fantastic heel champion. He and Jericho played off of each other nicely, as per usual. The brass knuckles assist from Jericho was gold, and I'm still loving their whole "best friend" dynamic. I'm a bit annoyed that Reigns got to do that chair pyramid spot that KO set up. I really wanted to see a Pop-up Powerbomb through it or something... The finish was a bit wonky as well, with Braun Strowman running in. I want Kevin, just once, to beat Reigns clean. As a champ, he's looking a bit weak. He needs some clean, legitimate title defenses, and he needs them now.

Neville v Rich Swann was impressive, as to be expected from the King of the Cruiserweights. Neville was ferocious, and looked damn good as a heel. I also like that he's getting more technical, with that beautiful Crossface Butterfly Armbar. Beat the champ clean via submission, and I can only hope that this is the push that the Cruiserweight division needs to get into its own mojo.

Cena v Styles... Okay, I'm gonna share my unpopular opinion... I liked the outcome. No one is gonna argue with me when I say that the match was excellent (I don't think AJ is capable of putting on a bad match), but I do believe that giving Cena the belt was the right choice. This is assuming that they follow it up correctly. So, my booking would be as such: Cena wins now, defends it against AJ once on the Smackdown before Elimination Chamber. Cena retains it there through... dubious means (you can probably see where I'm going with this). Elimination Chamber; Cena enters first, takes on everyone and eliminates the first three guys by himself. Participant number 4 could be a big guy, or an up-and-comer, like Bray Wyatt or Baron Corbin, and they give Cena the works. AJ is number six, joins in on the #BeatUpJohnCena. Cena takes down Styles and his ally with some rising shoulder tackles, puts up the ally for an AA and pins. 3 count, turns around into Phenomenal Forearm, then a Styles Clash. AJ looks down at him, picks him up, and catches him with another Styles Clash (which would be a nice bit of payback for the second AA Styles took at Rumble). Pinfal, 1-2-3, AJ is new champ. For the rest of the Road to Wrestlemania, AJ and Cena shouldn't wrestle each other. I wanna see Cena eat people alive, getting just a little more burtal with each match. Maybe he hits another finisher that he didn't need to, or he keeps the STF in for a bit after the tap-out. All the way up to Mania, Cena should be getting more and more pissed, while Styles should be getting a bit scared. So the match is set for Mania: Cena vs Styles, with the WWE championship on the line (as well as this perhaps being Cena's last chance at breaking Ric Flair's record).The match should be long. It should go on for near an hour, if it can. Styles should take no fewer than three AA's, should survive an STF, and then maybe a Calf Crusher. He takes it, and he keeps getting back up. Styles gets in offense of his own, of course, a few Styles Clashes, a 450 Splash and a Styles Blitz. Just by a hair, by the skin of his teeth, Styles hits a Styles Clash and pins Cena in the middle of the ring, beating him clean. They both struggle back to their feet, staring each other down. To the shock of the crowd, AJ extends his hand, telling Cena that he put up a hell of a fight. Cena accepts it, raises Styles' hand above his head in victory... Then hoists him up and hits him with an Attitude Adjustment. Cena beats him, hits him with at least one more finisher, before smiling, leaning over AJ, almost whispering... "You can't see me". That's right, I'm booking a Cena-Styles double-turn. I know it'll never happen, but that's what I would do, were I in charge.

Anyway, back to Rumble... The Royal Rumble match was fine, I suppose. It felt lacking in surprises. Cass went out too easily, as did Tye Dillinger, Big Show, Mark Henry... And, sadly, Enzo. (I wanna know who Enzo pissed off backstage to get himself booked like that. He ran in, got fucked up, and ran out. It was crazy). I only got really excited for a few entrants: Tye Dillinger (because I really didn't think he'd be there), Goldberg (because I knew he'd embarass Brock again, and I wasn't disappointed), Undertaker (one of my favorites), and Cesaro (I thought he'd do some great stuff, and he sure as hell did). I was disappointed that there were really no big returns or arrivals, no Jerry Lawler (though, in fairness, that was always unlikely), no HBK (again, wishful thinking), no Shinsuke, and no Samoa Joe. I really thought Joe might've won it, it seemed so possible for him to run in at number 30 and clean up house. But, no. Number 30 was... Roman Reigns.

I want to like Roman. I really do. I want fans to cheer when he wins, boo when he loses, and pop when he hits a Spear. But... Jesus fucking Christ, if WWE keeps having him do things like eat finishers for breakfast and easily take on multiple opponents at once and eliminate the fucking Undertaker... I don't think he'll ever be anything but hated. If he won that Rumble, it'd be over for him. The fans wouldn't touch him with a twelve-foot pole. But, luckily, Randy Orton won. I really didn't see that coming, and, given our options for victors, he was the best we had (other than Bray Wyatt, who really needs some PPV wins). I am remiss that Jericho didn't win it. He was playing smart, weasling in and out of the ring, and I genuinely thought that, with KO still champ, that they'd push KO v Jericho for the Universal title, to break up their tag team, turn Jericho face, and give him one of the last accolades in WWE that he doesn't already have. But, you know, Randy's cool, too.

Well, that's all. Just wanted to share my thoughts. If you wanna share your thoughts on Royal Rumble, drop a comment.

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Comments ( 8 )

So in other words it was a decent PPV event but still not as good as Mankind's hell-in-a-cell vs Undertaker?

4402872 In fairness, it's hard to compare to that match. It's one of the most iconic matches in WWE history

...My personal thoughts on it, the Undertaker is "beyond mortal morality" in a way that he needs not be apologetic about anything. I love watching him, every time that man even appears for one second on-screen; hell, I've got a Taker symbol hanging on my keyring. He is, and has always been, my Favourite Superstar, now and forever.
Roman Reigns is someone I am also wanting to cheer for. There seem to be others "in story" gunning to fill the void soon to be left by Mr. Calaway's eventual retirement, such as Brock Lesnar, and Bray Wyatt. Lesnar seemed to have already subsumed the supposed unstoppability factor, until Goldberg (and Taker Himself before that) showed him up, and Wyatt wants that connection to "the higher power," though I'm hoping he doesn't succeed. Reigns has the unapologetic attitude, and, as much as I should hate him for what happened in the Rumble, I just can't bring myself to do so. If one of these men were to assume Taker's Mantle, I'd personally pick Reigns well before the other two, and am somewhat happy (though also quite exited to see the fallout develop between Taker and Reigns) because of this.

Believe it or not, the popular opinion is actually that everything about the Cena vs Styles fight was glorious, outcome included. Even smarks thinks that it was the right choice and a grand match. The crowd, even haters, were cheering for Cena when he won that title. It felt like a REALLY important match, unlike Owens vs Reigns(I'll get into why in a moment), and Cena's done so much for the company, he DOES deserve that record. The main people that were upset with it seem to just be the ones that don't know WHY they hate John Cena but hate John Cena anyway because tons of people hate John Cena. I've yet to see anyone that can provide a logical explanation for it really, since as the match with Styles showed, he's got a good arsenal and can put on amazing matches with no damn problem. So, I think anybody that isn't hating him BLINDLY enjoyed that finish.

As for what I meant about Owens and Reigns' match feeling like it didn't mean anything... It's feeling like we see the same matches on Raw all the damn time these days. It's a good reason why Smackdown is viewed as better recently. So many times lately have we seen Cesaro and Sheamus vs The Club, Owens with Jericho in his corner in some way vs Roman Reigns, rarely does anything change hands. It was a good match, don't get me wrong but the matches for Raw as a brand these days feel like they're almost always just repeats of things that have been happening for months on end.

For the Rumble Match, I was taking notes of entrants and I remember being a bit vexed at how a lot of it was handled. I'm going to agree with CM Punk. When Vince McMahon takes his leave, we'll start to see positive change for the WWE. So much wasted Goddamn potential. Enzo's use was particularly dreadful. So was Cass. And a lot more. I can't stand how they handled that, much less the big one. Roman for Number 30. After was Strowman and Owens did to him earlier in the night, he shouldn't have been able to MOVE much less come into the Royal Rumble Match and eliminate the Under-goddamn-taker. I would normally never cheer for a Randy Orton win in the Rumble in this age. However, just because Roman didn't win, I cheered loud and proud. This logic is about the same as what Vince did with the Daniel Bryan elimination(Show Daniel Bryan, eliminate him early, have Goldust come out and "Shattered Dreams" be the first words the audience sees to mock them). The people most wanted and most EXPECTED to see Samoa Joe at that spot after everyone else was in the ring... so naturally, Vince did the Vince McMahon assholish thing to do(They want Samoa Joe? Okay, here's a Samoan whose real name is "Joe". Enjoy.) but I want to say he would've had Roman win AGAIN if Steph, Triple H, and Shane probably didn't talk him out of it. Which is horrible. Still, kudos to Randy. About the whole Elimination Chamber thing, though. I've got a question about that.

I get everything up to the end of Elimination Chamber. Shouldn't Cena win the belt BACK from Styles at SOME point during that time before 'Mania? Since the Royal Rumble Winner goes up against the champ at Wrestlemania? I'd have thought they were trying to set up another Orton vs Cena to end their rivalry since I don't think that's ever been on the 'Mania stage. Still, I like your idea better than whatever they could possibly do. Still, good overview of the entire event and I do agree with you on pretty much everything here.

4402956 Alright, wanna hear something embarrassing? In my fantasy booking, I COMPLETELY fucking forgot that Orton actually won the Rumble. So you can basically ignore that entire thing.

As for Cena... I like Cena, I'm just tired of him. He's been the same dude for like a decade and a half. That's not to say he's been bad. Just boring.

4402989 I do agree that, at the least, Thuganomics Cena was goddamn glorious compared to the Super Cena we have these days. It was a corny gimmick but he made it work damn well. Which is why I was so excited for the lead up to the Rumble Match. He was getting more aggressive and more assertive, beat the tar out of Baron Corbin for getting in his way. It was showing that he hasn't FORGOTTEN how badass he used to be. We all remember how vicious he can get(Choking JBL out with a steel chain in a first blood match was absolutely WONDERFUL). He plays any role he's given damn well. So a heel Cena will be one of the best Heels we've had in ages... Just hopefully they let him keep wearing the jeans and not make him wear the trunks.

Okay. I'm going to amend ONE of my statements since I just saw the Monday Night Raw.... I'm glad that a certain somebody was NOT used in the Royal Rumble, because I goddamn love how they used him here instead!

Comment posted by Brony4Ever1992 deleted Feb 1st, 2017
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