The way I see Myself · 4:36am Jan 26th, 2017
It's been said, that depending on who you are, you'll see yourself in different ways. Most people are really critical about the way thy look. But looks is not what I'm talking about here.
When I was about 18 months old, I was dignosed with Athma. For those of you who don't know what an attack is like, lay down on the floor, put about 10LB sack of rice on your chest, then breath through a straw.
It's a very real thing to me to know that one day, I'll have an attack and not be able to shake it. I've beaten the odds living this long.
That being said, how do I see my role in the world?
I view myself like a wind. A breeze that passes through the world touching lives here and there. A spirit, always takeing part, but never becoming part.
Like a wind blows a sail boat, but it's not the ship. Sometimes when I blow, people have good memories, other times they are bad. But eventually... I move on.
I move on... this world isnt' my home. Each day I don't live with this world on my mind, but the next life. I view myself being able to train horses all day long without growing tired. I see myself running free, without worrying about passing out at the finish line.
I see myself strong for the first time ever.
I see myself in the future sitting in the grand hall of art being tought by artists long sense dead. Learning what they know, and improving upon my skills.
I see myself being able to study, to learn, to achieve bigger, and grander things without worrying about money, or anything else.
when I see myself in my mind's eye, I'm standing, hanging onto a sturdy branch as I lean out over a cliff into the nothingness below. My hair is blowing in the wind as it tries to rip me from my hold and carry me away.
When I see myself, I see someone who defies the odds... both good, and bad.
This is what I see in my mind, when I see me.
Wow. I... don't know what to say. I'm guess I'm... happy for you. Idk. I guess the idea of moving on from this life kind of scares me a bit... a lot. As much as I love venturing into the unknown, that unknown is too... unknown for me. I really do hope you keep beating your asthma. You're an amazing person and I doubt the world will be the same without you. But I know you'll make an amazing impact on all the lives you touch.
Do you use an inhaler or a rescue breather? Those would probably be pretty healthy things to have on you in the case of an attack.
4397763 Yes Kes, I have the emergency medication for when I do get blind sided. But it's not always a matter of take the medication and it's over. I've been down with this for the past four days now. I'm trying to stay on top of it, but that's easier said than done.
Are you okay? you seem sad!
I know we were not made for this world, but I for one would be sad to see you leave, so keep beating that asthma!
Also; wind can be really powerfull! ( yes I mean you!)