Ramblings of a New Year · 2:04am Jan 3rd, 2017
I suppose it's just the fact I've not done anything today. It's nothing like doing 3 paintings in 24 hours then next day none at all to really... I don't know really.
It's a new year. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. New years day has always been... a minor holiday. But still, now I have to remember to put down 2017.... instead of 2016. It was a tough year, but still, '09 was far worse in my eyes. Mom nearly died in '08... but then Dad lost his job, Grammy died, Half my family was in a car accident that... nobody is sure how anyone walked away from... which held my baby sister who was only 6 weeks old... Yeah... it was tough.... this was also the year I got into the habit of only eating one meal a day...
This year, outside of my own health. Which I've gotten sick more this year than I have in the past five... and the fact that because of my neighbors I can't go home... Which threw me into a pretty dark state...
2016 was tough... but I have no animosity for it. I got to learn to drive. I'm just a few hours short now for taking the driving test. I still need to drive at night, and in the rain.
I graduated Highschool.... I honestly don't feel even now like I earned it. I worked hard yes, I strove... but I had a few low grades... that just... Alright, I'll be honest. I don't feel like I deserve it, because it doesn't feel real. I never expected to live to see graduation, so I didn't plan for a life afterward...
I managed to do 14 paintings in a month. Ya'know. I'm pretty proud of the effort, and sheer amount of work I put into my art over December. I actually did it over 6 weeks. But still that is a whopper of an amount of work.... I'm now down to just the four shirts from my Mom that are officially ordered... what am I going to do with myself?
Probably get back to those things I put on back burner... or probably I'll have a few lazy days like I did today and play the two games I got... actually, probably no. I'd drive myself insane if I sat and played a game non-stop like that. But I'll probably spend a lot of time trying to figure those out.
So, my New Year Resolution... Stive. I'm not going to push myself too hard with how I'm feeling, but I'm going to try each day to push myself to accomplish something on my want to do list... We can see where we go. I've had number of bad experiences over my teen years overachieving. I want to get back to the point where I'm not afraid to push myself, but on the flip side, let's try not to land in the hospital with something broken... it'd be just my luck.
Anyways, another year has dawned, and it's time to take the bull by it's horns and ride it.
(PS: Who let my half birthday sneak up on me like this? I'm not ready to be 19 1/2!... it means I'M TURNING 20 IN SIX MONTHS!) AHHHHH!
Cowgirl waves goodbye as she walks off with a bag of chocolate so she can re-think her life.
Hey if it makes you feel any better, I'm turning 20 in three months. Lol. Too quick.
4366962 Scary thought
I'm turning 60 in February.
Try wrapping your head around THAT.
(If you can't, don't feel bad; I'M still having a bit if trouble doing that, myself.)
4367048 My sister is turning 22 in February... Nope, can't wrap my mind around that.
4366967 yeah.
Not sure if I even have a resolution. Not like I've completed any or the last 5 years... okay, more. I lost count, okay.
But I'm turning 21 in... six... months... wait... YOU'RE A JUNE BABY?!
4367269 July baby. June baby it's December is the half birthday.
My birthday, however is VERY early in July.... So January fifth is the actual half way mark. Then one month, February 5th, two=March, three=April, four=May, five=June, then six= July.
4367491 Ah.. derp. I forgot how to number.
Got a little excited there.
I'm turning 28 this year, i think you'll be fine.
4367664 I know. It just kinda dawned on me.
I'm turning 22, sis. In one month. And you're closer to driving than I am. *frustrated sigh*
4368566 yep
4367101 Cool!
My youngest niece, Ashley, will be turning 20 the day after I hit 60.
(My birthday is February 9, 1957, hers is February 10, 1997.)
Heh, like I said, don't feel bad. I really can't, either.
And sorry if it took me awhile to answer you, Cowgirl. Had stuff going on around here.
4374241 So have I. Life has... been nothing short of crazy.
4374931 Yeah, I hear that.
4375083 I'm living out of a suitcase, while insanity just is going around me.
4375089 Ouch. *huggles*
4375670 It's... tough. But it's life.
4375755 Yeah, that's how it goes sometimes, unfortunately.
Stay safe, okay?
4375868 I sure am trying. But when you being attacked by a former best friend and you did nothing... my dog's been poisoned twice in the last three months, and there is more crazy stuff than we can count... it's only by God's grace we can be considered 'safe' at all. Because I swear Satan is out to get me.
4375962 Oh, dear Lord! Hun, stuff like that shouldn't happen to your worst enemy, let alone a sweet gal like you!
And what kind of coward poisons a dog (or ANY animal, for that matter!) twice?!
I swear, this world's going to hell in a hand-basket these days!
And indeed. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers, Cowgirl.
*hugs tightly again*
4376011 Thanks. The world has gone nuts... it's tough. And I can't say I've gone through this without scars. The stress has without a doubt gotten to me. But I continue to strive. *hugs back* Just keep praying. Whatever is going on... something IS happening. I just want to know why they decided I was at fault. I suspect it's because they know... which I've done for forever, just kept an eye on their fence, and at times slipped through because I'd see trash or something I didn't want an animal getting to. Also, when branches would fall, I'd get them out of the road... now how they took that and decided I was vandalizing their property and whatever else is going on... I have no idea. And if it's them, or the people who are actually doing the damage going after my dog... I don't know. For all I know, it wasn't my neighbor at all. But my dog's been poisoned twice. I've been moved to my grandparents. It's that, or the next time the call the cops, I go to jail. So... *Groans* yeah... But I'm getting art and stuff done. So that's at least a bit of blessing.