Top 10 Worst Stories I've Ever Reviewed. · 8:29pm Dec 12th, 2016
Well, this was a long time coming. In the nearly two years it’s been since I officially started reviewing stories on here, I’ve seen a sizeable number of bad stories, ranging from the meh to the OH MY GOD, THIS STORY NEEDS TO F**K OFF! With a range like that, I guess it’s no surprise that, after a while, some people wanted to know what the worst things I’ve reviewed were. For a while, I’d kept them in the dark, because I was never sure if the next thing I looked at would top the previous worst. No more. Now that I’ve made a fair amount of reviews in various styles, and have gotten a lot more reviewing experience under my belt from various sources, I’ve decided that it’s time I dropped the suspense, and revealed my worst.
Before I do, however, here are some ground rules. First off, I should point out that all a story needs to be in the running is to have been reviewed by me either for a blog post or for one of the groups I review in. Random Reviews, Lackluster Literatures, Goodfic Bin reviews, and Rage Reviews will all be considered for the list. Second, I should point out that this is all my opinion. If you like any of the stories on this list, then great! Awesome! More power to you! I just don’t, and I will do my best to explain why I feel the way I do about each story, but you are by no means obliged to agree with me. Also, a fair warning: a lot of these stories have royally pissed me off, and there may be points where that comes out in my writing. So, just be aware that there may be some swearing. If you don’t like that, then stop reading. And finally, there will be some spoilers in this list, so if you don’t want these things spoiled, then leave now and read them yourself. So with that being said, let’s see which stories I hated the most!
NUMBER 10
When it came to making this list, this spot was probably the hardest one to fill. I mean, the top nine spots were all pretty self-explanatory, but when it came to the 10th spot, everything sort of blended together in terms of awfulness, and I could’ve filled this spot with almost anything. However, the thing that gave the advantage to our 10th contender was the fact that, with most of the other candidates, I knew they would suck right off the bat. A grimdark story that’s trying to be Cupcakes? Been there, done that badly. A story about AJ abandoning Applebloom because of a cutie mark? Of course it was gonna flop. A FNAF crossover involving Rainbow as a cowardly night guard? Yeah, that idea got old back when Their True Desires was new. And so on and so forth.
With Number 10, however, not only was the idea for it not dead on arrival, but it was a freaking amazing idea that got me incredibly excited. I mean, a story about an evil Main 6 invading Equestria? That idea sounds freaking amazing! Too bad the story sucked as badly as it did!
NUMBER 10: The Elements vs. Their Fiercest Enemies. (Lackluster Literature #12)
The Elements vs. Their Fiercest Enemies is a key example of a story that has a great idea that could go in any number of directions, and then goes absolutely nowhere with it. As I’ve said in the past, I’ve loved evil double plots ever since I was a kid. The idea of evil doubles who can match you in abilities and intelligence is a pretty cool idea, and if Power Rangers has taught me anything, it’s that there are quite a few different ways you could go about this. I mean, you could go the mystery route by having the evil main 6 framing the real heroines for various crimes, trying to put the heroes behind bars before they even reveal themselves, or if you wanted to go the straight on action route, you could have the evil Main 6 show up and wipe out an opponent that put the real Main 6 on ice with ease, before challenging the real ones to a brawl. Both of those would be a far better introduction for the story’s main villains, rather than how the story went the Final Fantasy 9 route of having them show up with zero prompting after the Main 6 bowl over the Changelings. Give us some build up, show us their intelligence, their power, just something to show that these guys are a threat, story!
As if that’s not enough, the story failed to make the Pain 6 seem threatening in the slightest. Not only did most of the Main 6 defeat their evil copies with little trouble, but ultimately, every single member of the Pain 6 got wrecked by Fluttershy. Seriously, Fluttershy’s Stare ultimately sent their entire team packing. The Changelings in this story were a bigger threat, and they were absolutely destroyed in battle! If the story showed the Main 6 getting overpowered at first, and then showed them having to be more creative with their tactics to get results, that would’ve made the Pain 6 seem threatening, and would’ve made our heroes look better! Instead, the Pain 6 can pretty much be eliminated from the story, and very little would’ve changed. Yes, the evil doubles can be written out of this evil double story, and next to nothing would’ve changed!
Even ignoring the missed opportunities, the story is written horribly. The pacing is far too fast (not a single chapter exceeds 600 words), the grammar is just bad, and the characters all act like stereotypes of themselves beyond the point of it making sense. What do I mean by that? Well, here’s an example:
"Let's just follow the tracks."
"Good Idea Applejack." said Twilight.
"And get my hoof's dirty?! I don't think so!" Rarity complained.
Rarity, you’re a freaking pony! You’re usually barefoot (or barehoof, I suppose), which means that you’re getting your hooves dirty every time you step outside! Yes, Rarity can be prissy, but she’s not that prissy! Every character acts just as ridiculously one dimensionally as Rarity here, meaning that our heroes have no depth, and by extension, are not interesting in the slightest.
And finally, the last thing I’d like to point out is the action in this, or rather, the lack thereof. This story is trying to be a big epic impressive action/adventure, what with all of its fight scenes. The problem is that the fight scenes are all complete and utter garbage! Just take a look at this fight scene from the story!
Twilight tried every magic spell to stop Dark Sparkle or get rid of her but none of them work, so Twilight hoofed her, then bucked her. Dark Sparkle was knocked out.
Yes, that is the entire fight between Twilight and Dark. No, I didn’t leave any part of it out. And yes, every single fight scene is like that. They’re all written horridly. They make the fight scenes in my stories look amazing! Seriously guy, give me some detail! Show some impact! Describe things better! Slow the heck down! Seriously, if you’re going to be a story with a lot of fight scenes, then please have the decency to make the fight scenes even remotely interesting!
There’s really nothing else to say about this one. It had a lot of potential, but it blew it sky high with horrible characters, awful writing, and just wasted opportunity in general. While it didn’t make me particularly angry, which prevents it from getting any higher than tenth, it’s still a huge disappointment, which earns it a spot on this list.
NUMBER 9
If there’s one thing on this site that annoys me to no end, its authors who absolutely refuse to take a hint. You know what I’m talking about: those writers who never listen, never take advice, and blow up in your face whenever you try to give them help? Basically, the people who Windlife has spent his Fimfiction life parodying. This story comes from one of those people. However, this guy goes above and beyond the call of duty by not only not listening to feedback, but by pretty much doing the exact opposite by creating a sequel to his already heavily bashed story! And it somehow managed to do everything even worse!
NUMBER 9: Cameron’s Ponyville Misadventures 2 (Lackluster Literature #24)
Cameron’s Ponyville Misadventures 2 is a story that just leaves me baffled in its existence. I mean, it’s hard to think of something that this story doesn’t completely mess up! Let’s just start with the characters: Cam is just as dull as he was in his first story (which is to say, he was just a bunch of HIE clichés that were attached to a guy with a personality blander than a Styrofoam sandwich). This time, not only has he remained just as bland as ever, but now he has to share screentime with five more dull characters who, despite all of them supposedly having differing personalities and appearences, are completely indistinguishable from one another. Seriously, I have to keep referring to the prologue every time I read a new chapter of this story just so I can remember who’s supposed to be who! Thanks in part to that, the already sub-par pacing of the first story is even worse now, because the story ends up having to try to give everyone a fair amount of screentime. I would say that’s this story’s excuse for having its pacing be so sporadic, but it really isn’t. Why? Simple: Cam is the only character in this story who gets any real attention, with the others only occasionally saying something behind him. That means that these characters he brought in are completely and utterly pointless!
Speaking of pointless, let’s talk about the filler in this story. Now, my editing teacher always tells us that if something doesn’t further your story in any way, shape, or form, you should lose it. By that logic, at least 75% of this fic would be gone. Seriously, most of the scenes here have no purpose! Let’s name a few, shall we? The scene in chapter 2 where they meet Celestia? Completely pointless. The other chapter 2 scene where Cam and Austin save kids from a burning building? Doesn’t really lead to anything. The scene in Chapter 3 where Cam talks with Luna? Nothing comes out of it. Heck, the very introduction of the story, where the characters are supposed to be introduced?? Well, considering I always forget who is who by the time I reach chapter 2, that scene really doesn’t need to be here either! If you took out every scene with no point, you’d be lucky to have enough story left to pass moderation! I’m dead serious!
That’s not even mentioning the overall storyline, although using the word here feels a bit off, considering that there really isn’t much of a main storyline in the first place. Seriously, we don’t get any sort of main conflict until we’re about halfway done, and even that conflict is resolved laughably quickly. Really, the entire thing is basically just a big random mess of characters doing stuff with no clear goal. That wouldn’t be an issue, if it weren’t for the fact that
1: Most of the stuff that happens goes absolutely nowhere,
2: Even when what’s happening is furthering the story, there’s never enough detail for me to visualize what’s going on, and
3: The stuff they’re doing is freaking boring!
And that’s not even mentioning the bad grammar, bad dialogue, and everything else! It really is a story that does absolutely everything it can do wrong.
So yeah, this story is crap. However, I might’ve been able to get over it if it weren’t for the fact that this is a sequel. If it was a first effort, then it might’ve been able to avoid making it on this list. After all, you’ve got to give first attempts a little bit of slack. However, this story is not only not a first effort, but it’s a sequel to a story that was already critically panned, and it doesn’t even pretend that it’s listening to the criticism! That ultimately is what pissed me off about this story the most. If this story improved anything from the original (aside from being shorter), or made it clear that the writer was at least trying to take the previous story’s criticism to heart, then I’d be a lot less pissed. However, this story felt like it was written just so the writer could say ‘screw your advice, I’ll write as badly as I please!’
This story’s only improvement from the original CPM is that it’s shorter than the original. However, that’s not really a point in its benefit. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but back in my day, I was taught that a sequel should build upon the strengths of the previous story while adding something new to the table, not get rid of stuff without adding anything! Especially when the original was already incredibly bare bones as it is!
So, in conclusion, this should not exist as a sequel. This story should not exist, period. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, this story doesn’t exist. In total, I’ve reviewed 68 stories and a 3.5 thousand word first draft that should’ve remained on Google Docs!
NUMBER 8
An eye for an eye, and the whole world goes blind- Mahatma Ghandi
And with that, I’ve already given away my number 8. But hey, given how close this story came to earning a Twilight’s Wrath sticker, it’s no surprise that this one earned a spot!
NUMBER 8: Revenge (Lackluster Literature #25)
What am I even supposed to say about this story that I haven’t already said? I mean, I already covered the problems with it pretty in depth.
Well, I guess I’ll start with the grammar: Grammatically, it’s one of the worst out of all the stories I’ve done! I mean, just take a look at this first paragraph!
"Hey Scoots congrats on winning," i told Scootaloo. she thanked me and said that it felt amazing to beat Diamond Tiara after what she did. i proceeded to ask "wait what did she do?" She told me about her making fun of the fact she couldnt fly. That bitch should know better! Everypony knows that her wings are a disablity and she can't do anything about it. I congratulated Applebloom and Sweetie belle and was on my way. they asked me where I was going and told them I had some business to attend to...
No, this isn’t a joke. That’s literally what the first paragraph looks like. It’s so bad, that I literally had to fight with my auto-correct option just to type it down right!
In addition, the writing is poor. I mean, I’m sure y’all can already see what’s wrong with it, but let me just restate the obvious: The pacing is far too fast! The formatting is horrible! It looks like it doesn’t know how to use the Enter key properly! These children sound nothing like children! It’s like that for the whole thing! Every single paragraph in this thing looks like someone typed it down while blindfolded after being spun around 30 times!
However, that’s all pretty par for the course for Lackluster Literature. I mean, it takes more than horrid grammar and such to make this list after all. So, what does this story do to bring it up from just a horrible looking story, to a story that is completely horrible? Well, there’s two things.
The first of those things is the fact that when it’s not boring, it’s far too cruel towards Diamond Tiara. No, I don’t like Diamond Tiara. I don’t like the fact that she’s a one dimensional bully, and I don’t like the fact that she’s a spoiled brat. However, when you get down to it, she’s still a mostly innocent filly! Her teasing was malicious sometimes, yes, but she’s still just a kid! A kid who’s nowhere near rotten enough to justify what happens to her here, which I'm just going to spoil because it needs to be seen to be believed.
At the end of this story, Diamond Tiara ends up getting her hooves nearly broken, she gets punched hard enough to collapse one of her lungs, she has a huge chunk of her flesh torn off, she gets a couple of her teeth knocked out, and she gets herself a black eye afterwards for good measure. And that’s not even counting the fact that she was abandoned by her best friend right before the torment began! Why? Because why the heck not, that’s why!
Seriously, there are methods of torture that aren’t this messed up! And all of that because she teases ponies. Because, y’know, if a kid ends up teasing you, then you have every right to practically send them to the hospital! That is beyond messed up.
The other thing that pissed me off was that our ‘hero’ gets away scot-free! Because putting a child in the hospital would have no negative repercussions, right? Wrong! I mean, if this story showed that revenge will not end well for anyone, then I would forgive this, but no, it acts like revenge is a great idea! As long as they made the first move, there’s no repercussions, no remorse, no nothing. Just commit your act, and everything will be fine and dandy! Just… no.
This story probably would’ve ranked higher if it weren’t for two things. One, I doubt anyone who would read this would take its BS morality to heart (I think we’re all old enough to know that two wrongs don’t make a right, right?), and Two, because it’s really short. It doesn’t last long, and it really doesn’t become repulsive until it reaches the last few paragraphs. Still, it screws up enough to earn it the number 8 spot on this list. But that’s enough playing around, let’s get into the real garbage.
NUMBER 7
Okay, now we’re reaching the big boys. The last three were pretty close to interchangeable on how much overall disdain they brought me, and I could’ve listed them in any order. No more. Now we’re at the stories that legitimately infuriated me. And what better place to start than with some good old fashioned sexism?
NUMBER 7: Justice for the Innocent (Lackluster Literature #14)
Even as a little kid, during the “Cootie Phase”, I thought the idea of ‘boys rule, girls drool’ or vice versa was stupid. It always bothered me. Not only does this story seem to completely embrace the idea, it also completely doesn’t get how a rapist’s mind works, and it contains some very… odd and sometimes disturbing ideas on how Equestrian society is screwed over, such as how the justice system appears to not exist in this world! What do I mean by that? Well, let’s go over the abridged version of this story:
Celestia and Luna are chasing a pedophile into the Everfree forest, because, y’know, that’s totally part of their duties. It’s not like they have a royal guard or something for keeping the country under order! Except that they do. But whatever. As they chase him, the pedo is suddenly ambushed by six hooded vigilantes who beat him near to death. Celestia and Luna, rather than intervening, decide to just hang back and watch. After a bit, the vigilantes discuss how to finish him off. They say that death is too good for him, banishment is too good for him, life in prison is too good for him, and getting his freaking stalionhood cut off while he’s awake is too good for him (yeah, this story gets pretty uncomfortable to read at some points). Eventually, they decide that the best punishment for this pedophile who’s raped children across Equestria would be: changing his gender. No really.
"Since you like assaulting mares. I WISH YOU TO BECOME ONE!!!!!!" She screamed at last words.
Commence Rant:
ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?? Okay, first off, you said yourself earlier that he primarily assaulted little kids, not grown mares! Secondly, what was that you talked about earlier? How death, prison, banishment, and being the victim in Clopcakes is all too good for him? So what you’re saying is that if you are born female, then you have suffered a fate worse than death. A fate worse than life in prison. A fate worse than being banished. A fate worse than any sort of torture mankind has created. Well then, congratulations, women everywhere: according to this story, you were screwed over with the worst fate of all at birth!
THINK THROUGH YOUR IMPLICATIONS, WRITER! IT AIN’T HARD!!
Oh, and adding to it is the fact that with all of the other punishments, the pedophile didn’t even blink. He wasn’t scared in the slightest. But when someone says that they’re going to make him a her, he suddenly starts to panic:
"NO WAIT!"
Y’know, just in case it wasn’t already clear that being a female is a fate worse than death. That’s right Main 6, CMC, Celestia and Luna, and about 75% of MLP’s characters: you’re all suffering with the worst possible fate of all time, all because you weren’t born with a Y chromosome! Sucks to be you!
And that’s not even bothering to mention the fact that this punishment wouldn’t change a damn thing! 1: You don’t need a penis in order to rape something! Not all rape involves a man forcefully penetrating a woman! 2: Rape is very rarely sexually motivated, and in this guy’s case, I’m pretty much positive that it wasn’t sexually motivated! It’s clear he was doing it because he’s messed up in the head! Changing his gender wouldn’t change that in the slightest!
Rant End.
So they pull out a magic stone thing, they change his gender (by the way, thanks for putting the image of a penis splitting into my head, story. That’s just what I wanted to see in my My Little Pony fanfiction), they tell him that they’re stealing all of his stuff (all without any authority figure from the law present, btw.), and then they leave him/her alone to die. It’s only here that Celestia and Luna finally show themselves. Celestia wants to finish the rapist off, but Luna thinks that this is actually an appropriate punishment. No it’s not, you freaking idiot, but I’m sick of talking about this, and there’s a lot of other things on the list that I still need to cover, so let’s just move on.
Luna convinces Celestia that this is a worthy punishment, Celestia says something about the magic of friendship in this pedophile’s life (no, I’m serious), Celestia warns the guy that if he/she/whatever does try to go back to raping foals, then whatever will die, and Celestia and Luna wander off, leaving this guy to his… reformation, I guess.
There’s a bit more, but honestly, it’s unimportant. The only thing that it reveals is that this guy didn’t learn a single damn thing from his little escapade, and is only acting good because he’s worried about getting killed by Celestia. And that’s the abridged version.
Do I even need to say anything else? Even ignoring the fact that the story is completely sexist, the story has no idea how the law works, seems to be completely clueless when it comes to rapists and their motivations, the writing is poor in every major aspect, and it has some very unfortunate implications throughout it that make what would ordinarily be a very poor story into an infuriating mess of words that makes me see red. It is complete and utter garbage! And this is only Number 7!
NUMBER 6
As anyone who’s read the ‘about me’ blurb on my page should know, my favorite character on the show is Rainbow Dash. There’s a lot of things I like about her, ranging from her design to the fact that I see quite a bit of myself in her. Unfortunately, there are times where I almost seem to be a minority, considering how many stories I’ve seen that like giving her the short end of the stick for no reason other than to give her the short end of the stick. Now, I’m not about to say that I can’t sort of understand why (even for me, her ego can get a bit irritating sometimes, and her habit of speaking without thinking can result in her coming off as insensitive), but it still just drives me nuts. Guess what? This story is one of those stories that gives her the short end of the stick for no reason! Mix that in with horrible writing that’s not only needlessly unpleasant, but almost impossible to read, and you’ve got a recipe for my number 6 pick: I’m not a Lesbian!
NUMBER 6: I’m Not a Lesbian (Lackluster Literature #19)
When I think of a story that’s just completely unpleasant to sit through throughout the entire thing… this isn’t the first story that comes to mind (we’ll get to that one eventually, trust me), but it’s a pretty close contender. There are a lot of things to cover with this one, so let’s just go over the story. In this story, some jerk in a cloak spreads a rumor around town that Rainbow is gay while Rainbow’s away on summer vacation. The town, of course, not only immediately believes this mystery pony without any questioning, but the second Rainbow gets back, they immediately start treating her like she’s a sub-pony. No matter how many times Rainbow tries to tell everypony in town otherwise, the town continues to treat her like she’s some kind of contagious monster, because apparently a pony who’s saved the entire nation several times is less credible than some asshole who’s identity never even gets revealed (because the author didn’t care enough to be bothered. No really, that’s basically what the author him/herself said in the comments!). Yeah, a lot of this story is just watching as everypony in town treats Rainbow Dash like garbage because some pony said she’s gay. When you combine the pointless Dash abuse with the completely homophobic attitudes that everypony displays, you get a story that is just hard to sit through from idea alone.
This is only made worse by the characters. The only good thing I can say about the characters is that both Dash and Spike are both likable and (usually) in character. However, that’s more than overshadowed by the fact that Rainbow’s friends are absolutely despicable! You’d think that, if anypony would believe Rainbow instead of this stranger, it would be her friends, right? Of course not! Instead, they’re debatably even more unlikable than whoever started this dumbass rumor in the first place! Twilight ends up coming across as a complete and utter bitch, never listening to a word Rainbow says, all while treating Rainbow very poorly every second she can for no real reason, including pretty much humiliating her in public at one point (at one point, she ends up hiring a female prostitute for Rainbow Dash. Because apparently in Twilight’s mind, all gay ponies want to do is have sex. Seriously), Rarity does pretty much the same thing, albeit without the public humiliation part, Fluttershy… admittedly doesn’t really do anything either way, AppleJack, while not attacking Rainbow like the others do, doesn’t do a thing to clear Rainbow’s name, despite being the one that Rainbow was supposedly gay for, and Pinkie Pie, while usually not doing much, manages to come off as one of the most malicious out of all of them when she does do something. A perfect example of this is in chapter 2, where Rainbow goes to talk to AppleJack. While I’m not willing to spoil what exactly Pinkie does, I will say that she goes beyond not listening, to the point where she’s willing to stalk Rainbow just to get some evidence for this rumor, all so she can make her friend’s life more miserable! Because Friendship is Abusive!
Now, this would be somewhat justified if Rainbow was acting like a complete jerk to everypony first, but no, Rainbow literally does nothing wrong in this story! She just flies into town, and all of a sudden everypony who isn’t Spike is treating her like she’s some sort of sex hungry sub-pony with a contagious disease! All because some jerk said she was gay! Because that’s how you should treat gay people, apparently!
But hey, maybe the fact that everypony is treating Rainbow like garbage for pretty much the entire thing for no real reason doesn’t make you as angry as it makes me. Maybe the town’s downright idiotic view on homosexuality doesn’t make you as angry as it makes me. Okay then, if the terrible idea, characters, and overall mean-spirited nature of the story don’t get to you, then chances are the horrible grammar will. While this grammar isn’t quite the worst I’ve ever seen, it’s still pretty high up there. Not only does the story have no idea how commas work, but the story reads like it was Google Translated several times, before finally being converted to English (and from what I can tell, the writer speaks English, so there’s really no excuse for this). That means that, in addition to having trouble reading this story due to how needlessly mean-spirited and completely idiotic it gets, I’m also physically having trouble reading it because the grammar is beyond awful! Just take a look!
There was a awkward silence for few moments before Rainbow Dash spoke.
Rainbow Danger Dash, the infamous pegasus who lived is in the words of an anonymous source as lesbian. The source, who wouldn't say its name also informed us of that Mrs. Rainbow Dash and her relationship with his so called rival and friend, Applejack.
Rainbow Dash culling and laid on a cloud looking up at the blue sky, she was enjoying the peace and quietness she was getting and she would be damned if anyone ruined it with that lesbian theory about her, she put her hoofs behind her head.
Rainbow Dash flies to the library door a knock it.
That was all in the first chapter, by the way. It’s like that for five straight chapters. To be perfectly blunt here, it constantly screws up even the most basic rules of grammar. My papers from first grade had better grammar than this! It honestly feels like this writer didn’t even try when they typed this down.
So, in conclusion, this story is a perfect combination of horrid writing, bad grammar, complete and utter contrivance, horrid characters, and insulting implications about both Ponyville and homosexuality, with a thick layer of Rainbow Dash torment poured onto the top! In other words, practically everything that makes me frown at fanfiction! The only reason this story didn’t make it into the top 5 is because, while it is unpleasant, homophobic, and just completely idiotic, it does have one or two redeeming elements within it. I like Spike here, I like Rainbow Dash here, and I actually kinda enjoyed the ending (Kinda wish it came a little sooner, but it’s still a decent ending that managed to calm down my rage for a moment.) Still, those elements don’t make up for everything else that this story does. It’s complete and utter trash, which earns it the number 6 spot.
NUMBER 5
When it came to the Number 5 spot, I had a heck of a time deciding between this story and I’m Not a Lesbian. On the one hand, I’m Not a Lesbian is a lot longer than this story, meaning it had more time to piss me off. However, I ultimately decided to go with this story for one reason: For everything that I’m Not a Lesbian did wrong, Gainbow Dash did it even worse!
NUMBER 5: Gainbow Dash (Lackluster Literature #4)
When it comes to Gainbow Dash, there seems to be two camps: people who find it to be so bad that it’s good, and people who absolutely despise it. While I can see why some people would find it to be ‘so bad that it’s good’, I just can’t get past the fact that the grammar is awful, the characters are abhorrent, the story’s just flat out disgusting, in more ways than one, and the fact that it manages to come across as an even worse version of I’m Not A Lesbian, albeit in reverse.
Where the heck do I even start? Well, let’s start off with the “story”. Now, as bad as I’m Not a Lesbian’s story was, I’ll at least give it credit that it at least made it clear what story it was trying to tell, and it managed to keep focused on what story it was telling throughout. Gainbow Dash… doesn’t do that. Seriously, this story cannot keep focused to save its life! It starts off with Rainbow trying to enter the Wonderbolts, than it goes to Rainbow being gay, and Twilight’s attempts to ‘cure it’, then something about saving a bar, and so on and so forth. There’s literally no focus here; it’s basically just a mess of characters doing stuff with no connection to anything else! If this story’s events were entertaining, then I’d let it slide, but this story is beyond unentertaining! The closest thing to entertainment we get is the grammar, which thanks to the story’s pathetic grasp on the English language, occasionally gives us a funny sentence, but even that disappears before we are even a sixth of the way in, leaving us with nothing!
Speaking of which, let’s talk about the grammar. Now, I’m Not a Lesbian’s grammar felt like it was Google Translated several times, and could be really hard to decipher sometimes. So, how does this story lower the bar even more? Well… just take a look at the description:
All learned that Dash filly and like everyone was trying to help her, but she realized that she must be the way she is and she has found a place where it did not feel strange, but some do not like this behavior. Will Dash fight for their happiness and love?
Yeah, that paints a pretty accurate picture of how this story lowers the bar. I mean, at least in I’m Not a Lesbian, I always had at least a vague idea of what the heck was going on! In this story, there are several points where I cannot for the life of me figure out what the heck is going on. Seriously, I dare any of you to tell me what the heck this sentence is supposed to mean:
She tried to make her mouth nice Macintosh, but, apparently, it is not a factory.
Or how about this line:
She held in her hooves, trying to pull, but it was useless and the plant is the only Shining.
Granted, this was written by some kid who only spoke Russian, and translated it with Google, so this story at least has an excuse for its pitiful use of the English Language, but still, the story’s hard enough to sit through without having to deal with the fact that it doesn’t know how words work!
Another thing worth mentioning is the characters. While INaL at least had a couple of characters that were likable, this story fails to give us even one likable character. In this story, Rainbow Dash comes off as a spineless, brainless slut that is nothing like her show counterpart. She’s more submissive than Fluttershy, basically doing whatever somepony else tells her to do with no argument, and she completely spits in the face of her element, considering how many freaking marefriends she goes through in this thing, ranging from Twilight to Scootaloo to Spitfire! Loyalty? HA! Add to that the fact that she gets raped more than once in the story, yet brushes most of them off like they don’t matter, and that she’s a potential pedophile (there’s more than one point where it talks about her liking fillies in a romantic way), and you have the worst Rainbow Dash portrayal of all time!
Likewise, this story’s version of Twilight is also one of the worst portrayals of all time. I mean, at least in INaL, she didn’t frequently make Rainbow suck somepony else’s dick just to ‘cure the gay’! Seriously, in this story, Twilight acts like being homosexual is some sort of contagious disease that needs to be cured, and she acts like curing it is the most important thing in the world. I mean, she’s willing to risk destroying her older brother’s happy relationship with Cadence just to try to get Rainbow straight, for crying out loud! And that’s not even mentioning the fact that she comes off as a hypocrite later by having full on oral sex with Rainbow after her attempts to straighten her fail! This Twilight is easily the most unlikable interpretation I’ve ever seen! And the less I say about the pedophilic Wonderbolts, the better.
All of this isn’t even bothering to mention how disgusting the story can get. I mean it, there were points during reading which made me feel legitimately sick. Whether it’s visualizing Rainbow Dash sucking Big Mac’s honey covered dick, watching Pinkie Pie stick a lollipop where it doesn’t belong, or seeing Rainbow and Scootaloo being imprisoned in a dungeon until they fuck one another, this story is just filled with absolutely disgusting moments, both visually and morally. It’s rare that a story makes me feel physically ill, but Gainbow Dash pulled it off.
What the heck else do I even need to say? This story is just disgusting, in every meaning of the word. With despicable characters, no sense of progression, disgusting imagery, horrible implications, and pathetic grammar, Gainbow Dash is a complete and utter train wreck that takes the number 5 spot.
NUMBER 4
If you’ve been on this site for a while, then I’m sure you’ve come across ‘that’ story. You know the one: that one special story that gets everything wrong, misses every point going in, pisses you off to no end, and yet still manages to receive a positive reception despite being written like absolute garbage? Yeah, that kind of fic. Well, it took me a while, but after becoming a reviewer on Rage Reviews, I found my own ‘that’ story. Ladies and Gentlemen, buckle yourselves in for quite possibly the single worst romance I’ve ever read in my entire life: 800 Popularity Points Received!
NUMBER 4: 800 Popularity Points Received (Rage Review #3)
This story is a miracle. I’m serious, it’s honestly miraculous how this story completely fails at even the most basic of things! According to the description, it’s supposed to be a 2nd person self-insert fic that ships the reader with Sunset Shimmer, which isn’t a good start as is, but if you’re going to make a story like that, the least you can do is try to make the 2nd person vague enough to allow it to work as a self-insert! This story doesn’t even bother doing that, as the story immediately drowns the 2nd person with so many personality traits, interests, and descriptions of looks that it immediately makes the illusion crash and burn, meaning there was no reason why the story couldn’t just go all the way and make the 2nd person a character in their own right, which would’ve only improved the story.
It also doesn’t help that the 2nd person characters actions are fucking reprehensible. Not only does he exhibit the brain power of a canned sardine and acts in ways that no rational minded human being would, but he’s also written inconsistently, switching between extreme emotions on the fly and often for no reason. Combine that with the fact that he’s a thief, a heart breaker, and inexplicably able to outfight grown adults with guns with his bare fucking fists, and it makes this character impossible to like, even though the rest of the world is jumping through hoops just to get this guy to like them.
It’s not just 2nd guy, though; everybody in this story is a complete and utter retard, acting in ways that make no logical sense, from Sunset choosing the most complicated and likely to backfire plan she can come up with to confess to 2nd literally one day after meeting him, to Celestia giving 2nd a medal for essentially trespassing on school property, to the villains for every single thing they do. Watching everyone act like utter buffoons with no grasp of rational behavior is nothing short of painful to sit through, and that’s all this story has!
However, it’s in the romance department that this story really shows how badly it fails. I speak no exaggeration when I say that Sunset and 2nd are a couple in less than a week, after sharing a mere eight sentences, none of which actually reveal anything about themselves to the other. Even the worst stories of this type like In Love With Twilight at least try to make the romance make some iota of sense! Hell, even I'm Not a Lesbian and Gainbow Dash at least made some effort to have the romance make sense (not always for Gainbow Dash, but sometimes is better than never). This story, however, goes out of its way to make no fucking sense! There’s no reason for Sunset to like 2nd or vice versa, they barely interact, and yet they’re a couple in five days?? Fuck off!
And just to top it all off, this story is literally the most patronizing story on Fimfiction. I’ve never in all of my life seen a story that treats its audience with as much contempt as this story does. From the intro where the story immediately accuses the reader of being too stupid to understand how tags work, to the ending where it patronizingly implies that anyone who expected any form of quality shouldn’t have been expecting anything, the story treats the audience like utter idiots from the start to the finish, which is one of the most appalling things a story can do. But hey, judging by its positive rating, maybe it has a point.
In the remedial genre that is 2nd person, this one takes the crown as the worst of them all. If you really want a 2nd person story that ships you with Sunset that’s actually okay, then go read Waiting for Sunset instead. While it’s nothing incredible, it’s much more tightly written, makes a lot more sense, does a decent job at building up emotion, and has a far more satisfying ending. Just stay as far away from 800 as possible, because it’s not worth anyone’s time. The characters are idiots, the narrator's an idiot at points, and the story assumes that you are an idiot too. Don't prove its point.
NUMBER 3
Okay, this is where things get really tricky. I absolutely despise all three of these fanfics, and I honestly couldn’t tell you which one I hated the most or the least. All of them royally pissed me off, they all felt like they would never end, and they were all pains in the rear to sit through. Honestly, the stories in the top three are so close that you could put them in any order and it would’ve been just as accurate. So, yeah, you can consider the top three a tie. But, for the sake of the list, I’ve decided on an order. So, starting off this list, we have… the textbook example of bad pony fanfiction! The one, the only, My Little Unicorn, Magic is Believing!
NUMBER 3: My Little Unicorn, Magic is Believing (Lackluster Literature #15)
Is there really anything that anyone can say about this story anymore that hasn’t already been stated a million and one times? Not really. We’ve all heard about its legacy by now. We know that the characters are embarrassingly bare bones and at some points annoying as fuck. We know that the grammar is pitiful. We know that our favorite ponies are given the shaft and treated like little more than burdens for no reason other than the writer’s stated hatred of the show. We know that, despite it being a hate fic written for no other reason than to say fuck you to the show and its fans, it has plenty of points where it copy pastes elements from the show bit by bit, all while taking out the decent humor, characters, pacing, and everything else that the show provided and replacing it with horribly written action scenes and frankly insufferable attempts at comedy. We know that it switches all too often between too much happening too quickly, and nothing of interest happening for entire chapters. We know that the Grand Ruler Celesto is the biggest hypocrite of all time, and the main character Lightning is about as much of a Mary Sue as you can get. We know that the story goes on for an eternity. We know that there’s not one thing that the story does well. We know it’s one of the worst fanfics ever. We all already know this.
So really, what else can I say about it? All I can say is what I said back then: this story appeals to the promising demographic of absolutely no one. It doesn’t appeal to anti-bronies, because it still takes place in a world filled with pastel colored ponies. It doesn’t appeal to people who like good stories, because it’s filled with horrid characters, a cliché plot that takes everything bad about the pilot and pushes it past eleven while neglecting everything good about the pilot and the show, horrid morals, horrid grammar, and the tone from the author’s notes reads like a slap in the face, among other things. And finally, it can’t appeal to bronies either, considering how many times the story takes brakes to say ‘fuck you’ to both the show and the fandom. It’s a terrible, long-winded, boring, unenjoyable trainwreck of tedium no matter who you are, and the fact that the author ever thought this was an acceptable substitute for FIM is frankly appalling. But hey, none of this is anything new. I know it sucks. You know it sucks. We all know it sucks, and frankly, it’s not worth going into. Don’t waste your time on it, and go read almost anything else instead. Well, aside from the next two entrees, anyway, who somehow to be even more atrocious in far fewer words.
NUMBER 2
I have no idea how to introduce our next entry, if I’m honest. To be perfectly frank, it’s one of the most incompetent things I’ve ever seen, and considering what we’ve already been through, that’s saying a lot. But hey, we’ve made it this far, and we’ve seen some utter shite already, so how insufferable could it be? Well, when the story you’re talking about is A True Hater of Equestria, then the answer is incredibly insufferable!
NUMBER 2: A True Hater of Equestria (Lackluster Literature #22)
Okay, I’m going to be honest: I’m not 100 percent sure whether this is a troll fic or not. On the one hand, who in their right mind would ever think that a story with a premise this… unpleasant could work out alright? Then again, almost 27,000 words is a lot of investment for a fic that’s not supposed to be taken seriously. Honestly, I could see it both ways.
Either way though, a True Hater is so unbelievably terrible that I honestly don’t give a crap if it’s a troll fic; it still deserves a spot on this list. It honest to God feels like a Frankenstein’s monster of all the horrible things from other stories I reviewed both before and since, which makes for an awful experience that is nothing short of painful to sit through.
Let’s start off with the main plot: There isn't one. No, I’m serious. Say what you will about 800 Popularity Points Received and MLU, but for as bad as they are, at least they actually told a story! Similarly to Cameron’s Ponyville Misadventures 2, a lot of the story feels like it serves no purpose. A lot of scenes don’t go anywhere, there’s no character development to be found, and it all just feels like the writer was writing whatever he wanted, plot be damned. There’s a bit about him wanting to get back, but that’s quickly forgotten about. There’s a bit where he’s learning thaumatergy, but that doesn’t lead to anything. I’d love to go more in depth about it, but I can’t do that when the story itself has no depth. It’s just a bunch of moments. A bunch of horrible, poorly spelled out, legitimately unpleasant moments. It’s like Slice of Life if it were written by a spastic gibbon who despised the show.
Speaking of spastic gibbons, I speak no exaggeration when I say that the protagonist is the single worst protagonist on Fimfiction. Cameron, Lightning, 2nd person guy, the rapist from Justice for the Innocent… none of them even begin to compare! The entire story is centered around a prick called Jet Black, and the dude is a combination of all the worst traits of a protagonist. Inexplicably powerful (completely immune to magic, stronger than Rainbow Dash, capable of ice powers and time travel at various points, and that’s just scratching the surface)? Check. Inexplicably liked despite being an absolute cunt to everyone all the time? Check. Literally a psychopath who attempts to murder several characters who are trying to help him? Check. Painfully unfunny? Check. Has even less characterization than the guy from Hatred somehow? Don’t ask me how, but check. We’re supposed to be rooting for this guy, but how is that possible when he’s completely free of likeability? He’s the kind of character who should be the villain, considering I want to strangle him every time he’s in the story (and he’s never not in the story), but the story treats him like a savior despite all the shit he does! Even if everything else was perfect, the fact that this is the character we’re supposed to be rooting for would absolutely crush this fic. I’d say that the other characters are better, but they receive so little attention that it’s not worth the time it takes to mention them! It’s just Jet the Twat all day, every day!
But it’s not just unlikeable characters and complete lack of any form of narrative that earns it a spot this high ladies and gentlemen; it’s technically completely inept too! It has some of the worst grammar and formatting that I’ve ever seen! When Gainbow Dash, a story that was written by some guy who doesn’t speak English, has better formatting and grammar than your story does, than you should really consider another line of work. Nothing anyone says makes a hint of sense, and unlike Gainbow Dash, who’s legendarily poor translations ocassionally get a laugh, this story was clearly written by someone who speaks English, but just didn’t give a shit, meaning that the dialogue, in addition to being worse at punctuation than Gainbow, isn’t even enjoyable bad to hear! And worst of all, the fucking thing never ends. It’s 22 chapters long, and each chapter manages to be more intolerable than the last. There’s no talent on display here, nothing good to recommend, and every second I spent reading this garbage was a slog.
If this was a troll fic, then congratulations, you wasted the time it takes to type nearly 27 thousand words just to write utter shit that no one could like, which is frankly a pitiful use of time. If this was meant to be serious, than it is one of the worst attempts you could possibly provide. Either way, the author shows no talent, and managed to produce a story so bad that it couldn’t possibly be topped...
...Except for when it can.
But before we get to the number 1 spot, though, let’s have some honorable mentions:
Honorable Mentions:
The BRD Chronicles: Adventures in Equestria (Lackluster Literature #21)
When you can’t even get your chapters in the right order, you might want to consider a different hobby. Aside from the frankly impressive badness of that, though, it’s a story that’s horribly written, makes no sense, and doesn’t really go anywhere, but aside from that it’s mostly harmless. Compared to the nonsense we’ve already gone through, BRD does get a couple laughs due to its incompetence, which is more than can be said for the stories that made it.
SHOWDOWN! Mazinger Trixie Vs. Getter Dash (Goodfic Bin #14)
This is the worst story I’ve reviewed for the Goodfic Bin, hands down. This story feels like it’s the literary equivalent of a sugar rush, as its paced far too quickly, has poor grammar, has narration that just comes across as unfocused and disjointed, and is completely incapable of holding still and telling us a story for five seconds. The author says that there are plenty of references to some other thing in this, and even though I have no idea what the reference is, I believe it, because 90% of this story is referencing characters and situations that are never brought up in either canon or the story itself. To be fair, I’m pretty sure that this is just for the fans of whatever it’s referencing, but even so, a good crossover should be able to tell a good story even if the reader is unfamiliar with the referenced work. This doesn’t do that at all. Still, it wasn’t quite bad enough to make the list.
120 Days of Blueblood (Lackluster Literature #6)
While I really, really wanted to add this, because I found the story repulsive, filled with the most disgusting imagery this side of Gainbow Dash, possessing no moral compass, and it was hard for me to stomach throughout its run time, I can’t deny that the story is written really well. It’s clear that a lot of research went into making sure it did things that were appropriate for the time period it takes place in, the story makes it abundantly clear that you aren’t supposed to be rooting for Blueblood, unlike Jet Black, and to be honest, I wasn’t a part of the target audience for this thing anyway. I may hate this story, but I don't think it really deserves to be on a worst list, and I do admire the clear amount of effort that the author put into it, for better or for worse.
Stuffed at Freddys (Lackluster Literature #17)
Consider this my number 11, because nothing here works. Aside from getting every character completely wrong, having no idea how to build tension through the storytelling, being paced faster than a rocket, and desperately needing an editor armed with pruning shears, this story is a painfully unoriginal idea that has been done to death even before this story was written and oftentimes done better. The only thing that caused it to fall short was the fact that I have to go off of most of this by memory, because the story was deleted before I could make this list. Still, I remember enough to feel confident in stating that it deserves to be an honorable mention.
Bundle Without Joy (Lackluster Literature #33)
Not only does this story take on a subject as sensitive as abortion with no tact, all while delivering a hamfisted message that the writer feels needs to be spelled out for the reader in the note, but the story follows no logic, uses a strawman to represent Pro-Choice that acts more like No-Choice, has no character we can relate with, and throws Scootaloo and Derpy/Muffin/whatever in the bin in a graceless attempt to elicit an emotion. However, while it’s technically more than worthy to earn a spot on the list, the story just couldn’t produce a strong enough reaction in me for me to call it one of my top 10 worst.
But that’s enough delays, let’s just get to the number 1 already!
NUMBER 1
When it comes to fanfics, I can usually keep my cool after I’ve finished reading them. I mean, Gainbow Dash, 800 Popularity Points Received, MLU and A True Hater of Equestria may have made me want to punch a hole in the wall while I was reading them, but I was able to get over the anger I felt towards them relatively quickly, and in the case of Gainbow Dash even managed to leave a formal review in the comments section of it where I calmly stated my issues only a moment after I finished reading (not that I’m bragging). The point is, it takes a special kind of bad to make me feel unbridled anger towards a story long after I’ve finished reading. It has to be something so half-assed, so morally destructive, and so horribly mean spirited, that just saying its name out loud puts me in a bad mood. The last few stories certainly fit this criteria, but only one managed to do it within the first thousand words, all while providing the most single most insulting message I’ve ever seen in anything ever. I, of course, am referring to the absolute travesty that is…
<sigh>, They Can’t Take What’s Ours.
NUMBER 1: They Can’t Take What’s Ours (Lackluster Literature #20)
Oh yeah, you all knew this was gonna be somewhere near the top. The only question was where it would go. Never in my life have I seen a story that left me this angry this quickly. In a mere 1000 words, it manages to come off as the most insulting thing I’ve read in my entire life! This is mostly due to the message it sends, but even if you ignore the message, there’s still a ton to hate here. Where do I even begin?
Well, I guess we’ll start off with the characters. The characters in this thing are portrayed as either complete idiots, or complete assholes. Twilight and AppleJack, despite being the most intelligent and most level headed members of the main 6 respectively, are portrayed as complete and utter retards, literally killing themselves because their friends didn’t like the idea of them being gay (which, now that I think about it, seems to have been something of a trend for this list). Instead of, oh I don’t know, telling them ‘We don’t care what you think, and if you don’t like it, then don’t be our friends’ or going to Shining Armor or Celestia for help, or literally anything, they instead to decide to kill themselves. Smartest main 6 member, everybody! Not only does it literally come right the heck out of nowhere, but the fact that there were so many other options available to them, and yet they chose death, is frankly infuriating to me.
The other members of the Main 6 aren’t any better. Not only are they about as idiotic as Twi and AJ, but they come off as complete and utter pricks who care more about their own stupid self-image than the happiness of their friends. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at the beginning of the story:
On a twinkly night, the friends find out about the relationship of Twilight and Applejack. They weren't exactly that happy. "Applejack, you should break up with Twilight." Rainbow said.
"I agree with Rainbow this time. Being marefriends seems unbecoming." Rarity said.
In other words: “AJ, I know you love Twilight, and she loves you, but you have to break up. It’s making us look bad!”
That’s what I’m getting out of the first two paragraphs. I don’t see the main 6 here. Instead, I see a group of selfish pricks who would be fine with seeing their best friends’ miserable, as long as it means they don’t look bad. Now, if it was clearly revealed that Twi and AJ’d be in some kind of danger if they hooked up, then I’d let it slide, but the way it’s given to us makes me convinced that the only reason they don’t approve is because it’ll make them look bad! Because Friendship is Self-Centered!
In addition to that, the writing is just awful. Everything goes at a lightning fast pace, everything that needs detail is more often than not deprived of it, none of the characters actions come across as logical and the story is completely and utterly contrived. Admittedly, the grammar is tolerable, but that hardly makes up for the fact that it’s just written badly throughout.
However, all of that stuff isn’t the reason why this story ranks so highly. In fact, if the only problems in it were the ones I’ve currently mentioned, than this story probably wouldn’t have made the top 10. No, the reason that I f**king despise this story with a burning passion is because of its horrible implications about suicide.
Now, as anyone who knows me well knows, suicide is very touchy territory for me. I’ve contemplated suicide several times in the past, and even to this day, I still struggle with it. As such, I take the issue pretty freaking seriously. I’ve seen quite a few fanfics that portrayed it poorly (A Rainbow’s End, But you promised you wouldn’t…, The Lazy Eyed Klutz, etc.), but never in all of my life have I seen one that gave this many disgusting implications about suicide. Let’s count them up:
1: That if anything at all goes wrong in your life, killing yourself is an ideal solution, as represented by how Twi/AJ killed themselves over an argument with their friends:
"Nope, we are serious this time." Twilight said using her magic one last time to lift the knife.
Twilight and Applejack stabbed the knife on their bodies. With one last breath they shouted "Aaaaah!"
2: Even if you commit suicide, you can still make it to heaven, where you will be happy, as represented by this line:
The friends left the town hall and went back to their homes. They thought about how they would be in heaven, happy and fearless.
3: If you cause someone to commit suicide, there’s no reason to worry about it, because nopony will show any sort of anger, as shown by this scene where Shining Armor and Cadence don’t even raise their voices at the mares who indirectly killed their younger sister/ favorite filly to foalsit:
"We think we're the cause of Twilight and Applejack's death." Rarity said.
The older ponies were not surprised. "Well, why would they want to die?" Shining Armor asked.
4: It’s perfectly acceptable to be the reason that your best friends committed suicide, because if they’re good friends, they’ll forgive you in the end, as shown in this scene where Twi and AJ respawn:
Then they saw Twilight and Applejack, except they were glowing in purple or orange. "I see you talked to Cadance and Shining Armor."Applejack said.
"We just wanted you to know that you don't need to be guilty. We're friends, we'll always be intact." Twilight said.
5: There are no long term repercussions to pushing others to suicide, as shown by this:
The next day, they saw that all the houses were not the same. Ever since the death of the two mares, they weren't welcome. It wasn't a pretty sight. Though, something changed in the next few days. They were welcomed again by many, there was a spark that they thought was given by the dead mares.
Putting it all together, these implications create the following message in my mind: if you’re depressed, miserable, or even just mildly inconvenienced, it’s best to just kill yourself. You’ll be happier in heaven, and nobody else would be negatively affected by your disappearance, meaning there’s no reason not to kill yourself.
And if you happen to push someone into committing suicide, you shouldn’t worry about it. After all, they’re now in heaven, happy and carefree. Heck, if anything, you’re making the world a better place. They’re happy, everybody who knows them won’t be affected for long, you won’t receive any sort of punishment for it, and there’s now one less person running around on this overly populated sphere we all share, meaning there’s more room for the rest of us. Everybody wins, and you should keep doing what you’re doing.
That’s what this story feels like to me: It feels like its glorifying suicide. The story acts like Twi and AJ killing themselves was the right choice, showing them as both happy and tranquil, to the point where they don’t even hold the tiniest of grudges towards the ponies who caused them to kill themselves. It treats suicide as something good, which completely spits in the face of everyone who’s ever been miserable enough to actively consider it. And in my mind, there’s nothing more repulsive than that.
Yes, this story may not be the most difficult to endure, as most of the other entrees are far longer and more tedious, but none of them leave me so appalled as this story does. With abysmal writing, despicable characters, and hands down the worst implied message I’ve ever seen in any fanfic to date, They Can’t Take What’s Ours manages to take the prize for worst thing I’ve ever reviewed, and the day that I find a story that I hate more than this one is the day that I quit Fimfiction.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, that was my list. Will anyone read it? Probably not. But hey, if you did make it this far, thanks for reading. So, what do you think? Was there a story I should’ve added but didn’t? What are your worst stories ever? Please let me know in the comments, all comments and feedback is very much appreciated, and until next time, I’m out. Cheers 
Wow... That was a lot of reading i had to do but it was worth it i say your list is good not the stories in them. But from all the points you made of the stories i completley agree
This was pretty fun to read! Had me laughing in parts. You should do this as a yearly thing or something, it's a nice summary of the worst this site has to offer.
If I'm being honest, I only came here to see if any of my stories were on here.
I can now wipe the sweat from my brow and say "Whew!" in peace. 
4337558 Trust me, Lightning; Even your worst story wouldn't make my top 30, let alone top 10.
4337566 Heh . . . that makes me feel good. Thanks.
BAD STORIES!!!!
4337900 It's been a while, hasn't it?
4337571 quite welcome. But honest question: we're you expecting one of your stories to make the list?
4337951 Yes it has... Haven't been on fimfiction in awhile. I moved recently, been looking for a job, doing yard work, looking into applying to the air force and turning my written works into comics... I've been a busy-body.
How have you been my friend? hows life been?
4338168 Okay. Hectic, but okay.
4338321 Hope all goes well. That's life, its can be great and it can be hectic.
4338113 Honest answer: half-expecting, I guess. I often look around people's blog post reviews for my work. Call it an ego thing.