Lizardman Reviews #10: Into the Double Digits

Today's RNG Picks: 3, 6

Live to Be Reformed Another Day by Fire Gazer the Alchemist

Chrysalis kidnapped a dozen ponies, threatened Equestria, was betrayed by her own kind, and has now vowed vengeance on Starlight Glimmer before leaping from the ruins of her castle and flying off. She is definitely going to get away.

Absolutely.

Yep.

General summary: This fic honestly baffles me. I can't tell if it's a joke or if it's meant to be a fixfic or if the author just had the idea pop into their mind and they said "Fuck it, I haven't put anything out in awhile." It's exactly what the description leads you to believe it'll be, and not much more than that.

I imagine this fic was written in, like, ten minutes, with how basic the narrative is. Chrysalis escapes from everypony, except she's immediately hauled back because hey, if every single powerful magic being in Equestria is gathered in one place surely one of them would have the intuition to stop her from leaving. Banter ensues. The end.

Technically, the fic is pretty sound, though I did spot an error or two in there. It's labelled as a Comedy, but the fic itself isn't really joke heavy. You'll find it every bit as funny as you found the description to be, which I didn't find especially so, but maybe you would. Stories like these are good for anyone who's looking for a quick read before work or some such reason, but I wouldn't recommend this one to you unless you have fairly low standards of Comedy.

Mature fics from this point forward!

Scary Butt Fun by Fuzzyfurvert

It's Friday evening, and that means one thing for Sunset Shimmer: another night alone in the lab studying how the unpredictable force of magic works in the human world with little more to go on than observation and her own experiences.

But this time, she finds both a friend and another example of just how powerful uncontrolled magic can be, and how different things between CHS and Equestria really are, waiting for her.

Before reading: Haha That title.

Contains sex, some of which is butt related, between two consenting young adults of legal age. This is clop with copious amounts of actual story.

Yeah, but will it be good is what I want to know. Let's see.

While reading: Decent pace. Flowing narrative. Good spelling & grammar. If nothing else, I won't struggle to muster the willpower to actually read instead of just skim this. Not to say that clopfics are known for being technically shitty, but hey, this one's actually being presented like a story instead of wank material. props to you, author.

We start off with some banter between Sunset and Twilight before Twi asks Sunset if she can keep a secret. Set ups like these typically entail something futa-related. I have nothing against futa, but I'd like to see something off the beaten path, please author.

Well, I think it goes off the beaten path? I'm not a clopfic connoisseur, so meh.

Twilight wants to know how royalty in Equestria works, as well as what her clothing turned into when she transformed back at the Friendship Games. I share your confusion, Sunset.

Aaaand apparently said magical transformation made Twilight ten times sexier. Maybe. Probably. Sunset's getting turned on, at least.

What follows is talking, followed by blush-laden stripping, followed by more talking, followed by sensual fetishistic sexing. And of course Twilight is a hermaphrodite, because how else were they gonna do the sexing? Thankfully, it's presented here with some tact and not just 'Oh my gosh you have a penis that turns me on let's fuck senselessly!'

It isn't quite as simple as I'm making it sound, though, but hell if I'm gonna read the nitty gritty in extrinsic detail just for it to lead up to sex. I thought I wasn't going to get bored, but it seems I was wrong. Story in a clopfic is all well and good, truly (other authors take note of this), but balance is a key element, and this fic has some serious balancing issues.

Also:

She coughed awkwardly and looked up into Sunset’s eyes. “I mean...if you’re okay with the whole penis thing.”

“I think I can deal with that.” Sunset laughed softly. “Speaking of which, is that what’s poking me in the thigh at the moment?”

“...” Twilight swallowed again. “It’s a science boner. For science.”

Everyone make this a meme.

After reading: With these types of fics, you don't want to drag the setup out so long that people get impatient, but you also want to make the setup believable and engaging from the characters' perspective/s. This fic leaned a little too heavily on both sides, and as a result, my patience reached its breaking point.

Also, the character interaction between Sunset and Twilight, while sound, was quite bloated and filler-heavy. Particularly in the sheer amount of dialogue between them. Note to clopfic writers: if you're going for a more romantic angle, minimize the talking as much as possible and instead focus on the sensations the characters are experiencing.

But with all that said, I can still recommend this fic to lovers of nerdy smut. Just be prepared for a whole lotta talking along with the sex stuff. Since I'm not a smut lover, that might be why my patience wore out prematurely, so maybe you'll be able to read it through to the end.

Tune in next week, where I'll hopefully have my computer back and can return to doing three reviews instead of two. Have a very happy Halloween!