My First Story.

The Paladins.... Legendary human warriors summoned to Equestria with one sol-purpose: protect Equestria at all costs. However, during the battle with Nightmare Moon, they were defeated. The Paladins had met their match and were cast into darkness like so many others that fateful day..... all except one. Now cursed with immortality and seeking vengeance for the slaughter of his fallen brethren, the last Paladin silently watches over Equestria waiting for his time to be called upon once more. Though he may not yet know it, his call to action is drawing nigh, for evil is arising in Equestria...... and it's more sinister than ever before.
Want more? Read on to uncover the rest of the tale.

Be honest, what do you guys/gals think?

Comments

[Zen-Aku]

Do it

[HopeForTheFew]

However, during the battle with Nightmare Moon, they were no match for the mighty demon's rage and prowess.

This doesn't fit very well mate.

The Paladins fought bravely, but atlas,

It should be 'alas' not "atlas"

Hopefully though mate, this story may bring about some good. Best of luck mate and if you ever need help, you know how to find me.

[Belmont]

4249028 Oh, dang. thx mate for the grammar correction and two: what do you think needs to be changed to make that part fit well?

[Belmont]

4248857 Aw Yeaahh!!

[HopeForTheFew]

4249976 Make it something that would fit... How about:

However, during the battle with Nightmare Moon, they were defeated. The Paladins had met their match and were cast into the dark as so many others that fateful day...

[Belmont]

4250373 Hmmm, I like it! Thx mate!

[JackieFingWeeks]

I like it seems like it would come out great comrade

[Belmont]

4321108 Thx Mate!

[Maromar]

I'd read the crap out of it.