Lizardman Reviews #3: Still walking. Still stalking · 10:38pm Sep 7th, 2016
Today's RNG Picks: 2, 3, 5
I am Living Lava? by Shadow of Doubt
Ever wonder what it's like to fall into a volcano, no? Well, I'll tell you one thing, it was very, very hot. Then it kinda got boring, and then I felt a tad bit chilly actually. Once I realized this, I blanked out and woke up in a burning field, as a horse no less.
Before reading: So we have a human in Equestria fic, but the human is a lava horse (I guess?). Weird. Certainly unique for HiEs, so maybe this'll at the very least be an interesting read. Not that I'm getting my hopes up, because the universe takes a sadistic glee in smashing it back down at just the most opportune moment for maximum depression.
While reading: Just a casual glance at the fic, and already there's some glaring issues. Namely, the formatting is nonexistent. That Enter/Return key is your friend, authorperson. Not only that, but misused commas are a regular occurrence, as well as improper transitions between character dialogue. The mechanics of the fic overall are of very poor quality, as it just screams for a better editing job.
Past that, the story is pretty basic for an HiE, except instead of the guy getting fired from his job, getting killed, and winding up in Equestria, this fic has the guy getting hired for the job before it proceeds with the killing and the interdimensional transporting. So, at least it does something different.
The guy, Mark, becomes a female alicorn princess of lava, landing in (where else?) the Everfree Forest. So far, the story hasn't given me a single reason to care, and I'm on the verge of quitting at this point. but I will persist, because at least the fic is short, so I won't be here forever looking desperately for a good quality about the fic that might never come.
Well, this is something funny, at least:
"Sister, did you feel that?" Luna inquired to her older sister Celestia.
"Yes, I did, it appears as if a new alicorn has awakened, quite rare really, and right after Flurry Heart’s birth. So many new alicorns, coming into the word after a thousand years of peace. What is it now sister, six?"
"Yes, we believe so, if we count us, that's two, cadence and twilight as well as flurry heart and this new one that's six, Shall we get the scrying orb to find this new alicorn’s location?" Luna asked shuffling in her seat some as the door to their dining hall opened.
"Yes, that would be for the best. We must see if she or he is responsible enough to handle the power they now possess. After Dessert of course." Celestia respond, as the waiters placed a silver covered dome in front of the two sisters.
Guess this is a regular occurrence for them.
And from here on out nothing of note happens so I'm just going to stop here.
After reading: No offense to the author, but this story is bad. Like, really bad. The author hasn't written too many fics here on Fimfiction, so I can only assume they're still a newbie at writing. My advice: read more well renowned fimfics or even published literature if writing is something you're really passionate about, and learn from those to improve your own writing. As the fic stands, there's really nothing about it that makes it worth reading, as there's plenty of better HiE stories on this site: gonna plug Project Sunflower here if you want my personal recommendation of one. Lava alicorns are a cool (haha) concept in general, and one I'd love to read more about in a better written fic for sure. Just not this one in its current form.
The Big Red Button by Jay-The-Brony
One morning, all of Ponyville is shocked by the sudden appearance of a big red button, right in the middle of the town square. Nopony knows how it got there, or even what it does. But Twilight, as ever, steps forward to solve its mystery before it unleashes its possible reign of terror.
Before reading: Big red button in Equestria fics have been done before, but I'm interested in seeing what new stuff Jay can bring to the table in that regard. I've read some of his works, and enjoyed them well enough. The guy's a decent writer, for sure, and exceptionally good at writing large quantities of fics (210 and still going, geez). I'm going into this confident enough that it'll be good that I'm risking getting my hopes up, which is a nice feeling.
While reading: So the eponymous big red button is in the center of town and, as is typical of anything standing out like a big fat sore hoof, everypony's attention is drawn to it. Twilight puts a fence around it with signs saying 'Do not touch' which of course means ponies are now going to want to push it. Pinkie pushes it, and unlike many other fics with this premise, something actually happens. The universe is switched off, except Twilight and her friends are still around. And, you guessed it! Discord invented the button.
After reading: Eh, it's alright. Nothing spectacular, but it is refreshing to see a fic like this where something actually happens instead of it all being a paranoia showcase. It's kinda like Paranormal Activity vs Juon: The Grudge, wherein I much prefer the latter because it realizes that explicitly showing ghosts can be scary if executed well, which it does. That said, I am interested in seeing the new Blair Witch movie. Anyway, if you have a few minutes to kill and want to read something completely and utterly random, give this a read.
Lord of the Dragons by Titanium Dragon
Before the Gauntlet of Fire, Celestia, Luna, and Dragon Lord Torch meet to discuss the future of their kingdoms – and how to ensure that the next Dragon Lord is exactly who they want it to be.
After all, if Princess Ember is to win, something has to be done about all those adult dragons seen in the dragon migration...
So, since I already read this story before this blog, I'm gonna cut my format of Before, While, and After reading and give you a condensed summary of this fic.
Condensed summary: Basically, this fic is just one giant back and forth between Torch and the royal sisters discussing the best method by which to ensure Ember wins the Gauntlet of Fire. It's good character interaction, if a tad bit underdeveloped. Thankfully, what headcanon showcased here feels natural to the narrative and not like "Oooh, isn't this clever!? Aren't I really clever!? Huh!? Huh!?" It's pretty intriguing that the sisters would be in cahoots with other world leaders for the purposes of maintaining harmony across nations. We've all seen 'chess master Celestia' fics before, but this is the first one I've read that actually feels like it'd fit in with the show. Maybe because it shows that even she can't just tap into the flow of destiny and rearrange it to her liking; she actually needs help from the other powers-that-be. It's an idea that would be cool to see fleshed out in a much longer fic, but as it is, I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for an interesting, short read.
And that's it for this third round of Lizardman Reviews! And hey, no clop this time around! Woohoo! Tune in next week for more if you're still interested.
