I'm throwing in the towel · 6:58pm Aug 9th, 2016
Hi. If you're still paying attention to my apparently disappointing writing skill, thank you, and also, sorry.
I feel kind of like all that's happening lately is that my stories are collecting dislikes and negative attention.
Let me tell you a short story.
About nine months ago, I posted a terribly written story. Within a few days, it had two likes, and eight dislikes. One of those upvotes was from me, and I eventually took it down so I could rewrite it.
I haven't rewritten it, and I don't feel like doing it.
Then I published another story, which is now my most prized achievement. I'm not going to put up any links, because it seems like any time I draw attention to my stuff, it's not the attention I want.
In short, I'm closing down my stories, unless, like, they get twice as many upvotes as they have, which isn't gonna happen.
I can't keep scrounging by like this.
I got into this site with the drive to create a runaway hit, like this beauty. But it's become clear to me that, with real world tensions rising around the polical mess known as —for lack a better word— an election, and the Republican elite basically dragging themselves along as they watch a litigious demagogue steal their party out from under them, the internet as a whole is becoming a less and less accepting place —not that it was very nice to begin with.
I'm signing off, not completely, but enough that none of my stories will be finished. I'll still write in my personal time, because one does not simply cease to write fanfiction, but none of it will see the light of day, not for a long time.
The issue is, I still invest a lot of my self worth in my stories, and I am an insecure nerd living in his parents' basement. Maybe that'll change by the time I graduate, but that's not for another three years.
You can call me a baby, but I've basically already done that. And you know what babies do with their time?
They have fun, cry a lot, and vomit on anyone who makes them upset.
I'm just considerate enough not to puke all over the haters.
"Don't wrestle with the pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it." George Bernard Shaw
I'm not asking for likes, and I'm not trying to get attention. I'm just letting my followers know why I'm not publishing.
Edit: I will first finish my most popular story. I made a follow up blog.
I think this was your problem. Don't write trying to make the next best thing, just try to write a good story.
What does this have to do with anything?
4140805 The internet is influenced by the world in which it exists. I don't see as much of the cheerful attitude I joined this site for, though I can imagine that there are other reasons for this.
I'm just... unable to keep doing this without attaching my self worth to the ratings of my stories, and at the moment, the world doesn't seem to value sincerity or sensitivity. It seems to discourage them.
4140808 Believe it or not the world hasn't changed that much, only your prescription of it. A few tips for you
1, stop watching the news and election related stuff, it's depressing at the best of times.
2, see that value in the likes your stories get. On the 3 stories of yours that I can see the ratings they are more liked then disliked.
3, try to understand why you get dislikes, and if you can work on improving that.
Your either looking in the wrong groups or have the wrong mind set about that. I see many cheerful attitude on this site.
Maybe your just burnt out. Take a few weeks off and see how you feel, and you know writing is not for everyone. Remember, if you don't enjoy it then what's the point.
4140850 Let me thank you for the advice.
1. I don't watch the news, but I do watch late shows (Samantha Bee, John Oliver, Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, etc.) which I will probably change in a few seconds.
2. I know that they have value, but I can't focus on them.
3. I've asked for feedback several times, but I find that it doesn't work.
Generally, my mindset has never mixed well with the internet. I have a similar —if less extreme— empathy problem to that of Radiant Blade, from my vampire story. I can't not care, especially when I'm dealing with what people think of me.
As a teenager, who's been beaten around all his life, singled out, and laughed at, I like to hold up signs that say, "Everyone's too busy worrying about what people think of them to think about you." But I don't internalize that message as much as I need to.
I will take a break, and I wish the world had more people like you in it. Thanks.