On being a teenage author · 11:35pm Aug 9th, 2016
Now that my ragegasm/tantrum has passed, I'd like to consider the notion that being a teenager is somehow worse than being a fully grown adult.
I don't think it's always true, although I am only half informed on that front, being fifteen and all.
But, as far as content creation goes, I sort of wish I had the resolve possessed by most of the adults on this site. Putting your creations out into the world isn't always a rewarding feat, and it's always hard —this is especially true of the internet.
Putting on display for the world the sum of your labor, of blood, sweat, and tears, is never going to be easy. No matter how much time you sink into a project, no matter how many mountains you moved to make your creation as good as you can, it will always receive some negative attention.
And it hurts. It really, truly bites. Every square millimeter of the rating bar consumed by red generates within your mind a whole world of questions, doubts, and fears. You'll wonder if it was your use of one particular word, or the names of your characters, or the word choice used in the authors' notes.
You will likely request some feedback, and, in my experience, none will come. That downvote will just sit there, a permanent scar on your self worth, a constant reminder that your work isn't perfect.
And you'll agree with it, because nothing's perfect.
You will feel helpless. You will feel disempowered. You will feel every red pixel gnawing away at your mind. You will be hurt, and you will hate every second of it. You'll despise the silent hater, and you'll wonder why you care so much.
You'll worry how many potential upvotes you're missing out on because of that downvote, because people will make split second judgements of whether or not not read your story based on it.
You'll imagine the great unfairness of it all, that you poured your life and soul into the story, and that someone has actively chosen to bring such torment upon you for expressing yourself in a creative way.
Now, that's all what I go through, every single time someone fails to explain their problem with my work. Your experience may vary.
And yes, I called it my work, because I don't have a job yet. I don't make any money. I don't live in my own house. I've never been turned away from a job, and I've never been rejected from the college of my dreams.
I'm fifteen years old, and, after my first story received more flak than a kite over Area 51, I still kept my head held high, and said to myself, "You know what. I'm willing to try. I've got a great story, and it deserves to be out there in the world."
I bit my lip, and I clicked the submit button, and I bit my nails for the entirety of the following three hours. I thanked the admin who had approved my story, and stalked the site until someone rated it, and blew a heavy sigh of relief to find the rating bar filled with nothing but green.
I can't not invest some of my self worth into them. These characters, whom I have poured my soul into, are as valuable to me as if they were my children.
I don't have the resolve of an adult, and I'm not yet ready for the world's many challenges.
But, over a phone call with my mother, I remembered why I'd actually continued publishing chapters in that story.
I had convinced myself that this was practice for when I actually send a real book to a real publisher, and I will be turned down, and I will need the ability to take no for an answer without drinking my sorrows out.
I can keep going, so dang it, I will.
I'll have to leave behind a few of the lesser projects, but I will keep going. I made a promise in one of my blogs, which I actually broke with my most recent blog. I promised that I'd at least finish my current stories before I stopped putting my stuff online.
So, I'll at least finish The Roses of Success, because I would be remiss if I didn't. The most recent comment on it ends with this:
Keep going! ;)
Maybe in twenty years, I'll look at this blog, and say, "Glad I kept my head in the game." Or, maybe I'll say, "Was I actually this insecure?" Either way, I'll definitely say, "I definitely used too many commas."
100% on this, and I'm an adult *cough* 28 *cough* ESPECIALLY when nopony comments on the story. Then all I can do is wonder, 'what did I do wrong? what didn't you like?' I mean if somepony is going to give it a downvote, I'd like to know why so I can try to improve! (Or if it is something as small as a character's name, or some other plot point that can't be changed by the time they say something, at least I can know for next time what not to do.
Pretty much this whole post I am 100% on. I know they say a writer must be 'thick-skinned' to put their work out there and accept criticism, and though down voting is a kind of crit, it is not constructive crit which can help us do better! But yes, the potential upvotes missing because somepony won't read a story if it has more then x% of down votes, just that utter sickness of wondering why? Wanting to improve but not being able to because the down votes make you feel your story is worthless. (I can understand on clop fics, as well the fetishes/kinks used in them might not be to everyone's liking, and just a downvote on that doesn't phase me 'as' much, but for a story I really care about? No, no break out the waterworks.)
Oh no, I hear you there. I might have a job, but this at the moment is what I consider my 'important' work. My 'real work' is just a way for me to make money and have food so I don't die. THIS is the kind of thing I want to do with my life. I want to write stories people can enjoy, that can touch them, make them feel powerful emotion. Not be stuck behind a counter scanning millions and millions of groceries. or some other brain dead job.
Oh I totally think of my characters in that way too. So much so that people might think I am crazy as I 'act like they are real' even got a plushie of my main pony OC. Cuddle with him every night as well, he's important to me. *cough* not as a 'child' though more like I see myself as his love interest from my story *cough* but still!
Yep it is the same for me. Might not be able to publish what I write on here (without some major revision to make the characters my own and not MLP esque.) but I want to be a published author someday, and taking the crit from users on here is good practice.
*cough* is probably in that same 'too many comma's' boat. *cough* But yes keep going! Don't give up because of the lack of votes or comments. I tell myself 'hundreds if not thousands of stories are uploaded each month, just because yours doesn't make it as big as 'Cupcakes' or 'Fallout: Equestria' doesn't make it bad. There are plenty of other WONDERFUL authors out there who get not much more than you, so be proud that at least some are willing to read it, even more happy when someone decides to comment/give crit, and keep moving forward!'
(heh and sorry about the novel of a comment. I've just been feeling a lot of the same so have a lot to say?
)
4141503 This made my day.
4141519
Good, I'm glad to hear so!
And thanks for following me! Hope your day continues to go better. ^.^
4141503 I don't think I could've said it better myself.
4141602
Good to see I'm not the only one going crazy on this front hehe.
heh thanks!
4141503 offers some great insight. I stumbled upon this blog post and I'd like to offer my two cents while I'm here.
Writing is hard. Not only in the technical sense, grammar and style and all that, but in the emotional sense (if that makes sense). It's hard to write something and not take criticism, downvotes, or lack of attention personally.
Every time I write something and post it for others to read and judge, I feel like I'm posting pieces of myself--and subsequently, like I'm being judged. I live off of upvotes, and every downvote kills me a little inside. I know I shouldn't be taking it so personally, but it's easy to feel that way because stories are feelings, and my stories are my feelings. Especially as a teenager, I know how stressful it is, because I was where you are not long ago.
It sounds like after finishing your current stories, you'll be done with posting here? If that's the case, that's totally up to you, whether you'd like to pursue writing here or elsewhere or another craft or hobby. But if you want to continue writing, whether here or not, I'd like to read one of your stories and offer criticism, just so you might at least get one useful (?) piece of writing advice on this site before you're off. Just lemme know which story you'd like some feedback on (something under 10k words, preferably). If you don't want it, that's fine.
But either way, take care. Find enjoyment in what you do and all that, whether it's writing or not. ^^ And if you want to keep writing, keep at it! You can only get better with practice :>
4141788 I may continue writing here, if all goes well, but one does not simply cease to write fanfiction.
I could use some feedback on this one. It's a bit unconventional, written in the style of a confessional story, like The Catcher in the Rye.
4141791 Sure thing! Bookmarked. I'll get to it as soon as I can, likely within a week.
Please forgive me in advance--I may come across as critical, but I mean well, and I will do my best to keep my feedback constructive and useful. ^^
4141797 As long as it's well intentioned, I can't fault you for helping. And while you're at it, I'll see if I can find anything wrong with Hope and Changeling. I probably won't, from what I know of its reputation.
4141788
I agree, and I think to a degree fanfiction might be harder than original fiction, depending on the audience of course. With a lot of those on here, if the characterization of canon characters is totally off, and without a good reason to be off, it can totally demolish a story. And yes, not taking what others say on here(or don't say) personally is very easy. Kind of the reason I stopped my main story for awhile, but then I just moved to another story, wrote it all out in a month, and can now see where I was going wrong with my other.
I couldn't agree more (heh probably going to be saying this alot) I mean like has been said, we put our time, sweat, blood and tears into these stories. We are Making them the best we can, losing sleep, not eating as much as we should, putting other things that we 'should' do to the side to produce more pony words, all in the hopes we will be recognized as having a little talent. Then when no one comments, they downvote, or we get few views, it just kills a little part of me inside. We all put so much heart into our stories, and seeing nopony else seem to notice that, it is hard on the feels man!
4141791
And I'd be willing to read some too. Already read some of my friends works to try to help them out. Even if it is just a commenting on this or that part, or what I liked about the chapter. Pretty much? I feel any positive comment, or any constructive criticism comment, is good fuel for love for me. Even an upvote is a sweet, sweet thing to receive.
And for ponies or 'lings like all of us? I agree, we never stop with our fanfictions. We might have a time were we pause to focus on real life issues, but we always return to talk about our favorite characters in crazy stories, be it MLP or some other show/book/movie.
But whatever we do. As long as we keep at it, we can only get better!
My blog's comment section has become a copy of what The Helpful Comment Trade is supposed to be.
Persistence and patience.
Have a lot of that when writing and you will do fine.
Persistence because there will be a lot of obstacles.
Patience because sometimes things will not go as fast as you want.
Also have patience with yourself because moving from bad to good or even decent sometimes isn't a straight line.
It will take time to learn all of the nuances in writing.
The good news is that you have a lot of time to practice.
Having a thick skin helps a lot too.
My first story was here was a train wreck.
Heck, they put it in the train wreck group.
That hurt.
Then I wrote more short stories and my next story was better.
I still keep my train wreck because there was some bits I enjoyed writing.
I even did a sequel to it.
I would suggest writing original work if you are not writing it.
To me, fanfiction has a lot of constraints that can get onerous.
Join a writing group so you can post original work and get feedback on it.
Keep on writing.
4142227
Same. My first introduction to the groups system was through my first story being crammed into The Badfic Bin.
But, hey, in the end, I realized what was wrong; I wasn't ready yet.
I was still way too new to writing. I didn't read enough at the time, so I didn't write very well. The story was dry, the paragraphs were all either one sentence bits of dialogue with a boring said tag or a novel sized mess of fifty different topics.
After I took it down, I swapped my like to a dislike, bringing the ratio of ratings down from 1:4 to 1:9.
Gotta keep trying, or you'll never improve.
Thank you so much for your input.
I stumbled across this blog from a comment posted in The Writer's Group (link here). After taking a good while to read it over, I have to say:
Wow.
That is some of the most insightful thought that I've seen in a good while.
As a teenager myself (16 and going strong, woohoo) who has found the odd love of writing stories (and fanfics, no less), I can most definitely say that I understand what you are going through. Hell, honestly, I think you get it the most (and by it, the problem you brilliantly have articulated).
This site is both my source of great joy and angst. It is a risky place to be, since we, young, foolish, and starry-eyed in some ways, endeavor to pour our hearts and souls on written work and have the world judge it for what it is. We risk, of course, there being repercussions; but, in our case, we suffer from the fact that we often have to contend with the fear of being downvoted than appreciated.
It is a very real, and reasonable fear; and people who say not to let it be a fear are wrong.
Writing is an art. And, like all art, it involves you delving deep into yourself and writing whatever you think is the truest statement or statements that you can possibly write. It is you reaching deep and pulling out your very essence. In a tragically romantic sense, it is you succumbing to the need to express, for, by not expressing, you die. The need to be out there, expressing and "living," as it were, is a strong need, one bred by the innate creative juices that reside in all of us.
So, it makes sense for us to fear that fear; for each negative downvote, each red column's increase, hurts us. It hurts, because it is an attack (admittedly, a mostly impersonal one) on our very selves. And it hurts, and it will hurt, and it will most likely always hurt.
That's the way I look at it, at least. It's a constant pain. But that's the thing.
Constant pain is a set amount. It neither goes up, nor goes down.
Which is why, I suppose, every upvote I get, or you get, or anyone gets, makes the pain seem less and less painful. Because, if you write enough, you'll end up writing something someone likes. And then someone else will like that, and someone else, and someone else.
That's a long road, though. It will take a good while before anyone gets to that level.
My advice is this: whether or not you keep posting here, or elsewhere, keep writing. It is an ability worth cherishing and nourishing. Take the upvotes with absolute joy in your heart. Use the downvotes as an incentive to do better. Write, write, write. Don't let the negatives outweigh you own positives.
Like you said, writing is hard. But it's something worth doing.
If this comment sound super rambling, I'd like to apologize. I came off of a very hot, tiring shift at work, and I am exhausted as hell. Hopefully, my words made some amount of sense.
Cheers. Keep on writing; you'll get there, one day. Trust me.
-Jarvy Jared
I have had an account here for a year, life happened I came back three days ago. Apparently I'm an adult, personally I know it's complicated. After all everypony is different, every person is different, we all mature differently and some never do. I think the word adult is over rated.
I posted my first three stories, got them all admin approved, in less than two days of returning to Fimfiction.
All three were added to a favorite list in less than an hour, and then the one staying on the front page barely approved four hours before it was down voted. No comment as to why. It hurt a bit, because there was no comment as to why. A part of me is aware that this will affect how people see the story negatively. Another part is aware this won't be the first one, it's the old short story writing forums all over again. And yet another part is aware this work could be stolen by another person, altered slightly, and that person will get more votes. I know because it's happened before.
It isn't my best work, it's a funny scifi bit inspired by a classic comedy sketch. The hint is even in the title.
Personally I think it's a pretty good try at adapting it to FIM. Apparently somebody didn't get it, or more likely didn't even read it.
It isn't meant to be taken seriously, it reads like the script to a skit from a comedy show it's supposed to.
When I was a teenager I posted stories online rarely, I was paranoid people would steal my work. The few times I got myself together enough to do so they were mostly one shots. Chances are more work exists online from my childhood years than any other time concerning writing. I got down voted then too, but eventually I got a message from a down voter that changed my view on the whole thing. They told me that they voted me down because they were jealous, they were angry that my work was so good. And because a friend of theirs had shown them a manuscript for a book they wrote, a short story collection. Two of the stories were identical to mine, only difference was mine had been published two months earlier. This person had thought I had stolen their friends work, they had contacted me to ask if I had. I was honest, I couldn't have done that since most of my originals are in a note book and dated. The two stories in question had been written three years prior. This person was shocked and then told me their friend had just gotten a minor book deal from that short story manuscript, claiming my work as their own. Needless to say I wasn't happy, but nothing could be done.
I quit the forums the next day.
I know at least four pieces were stolen and put in a book or two and sold, it's why I stopped posting, having your work plagiarized before you even hit your thirteenth birthday will make you paranoid people will take your stuff.
Down votes hurt too, especially sans comments. But not as much as having a *ahem* 32 year old woman steal your work when you are a kid publish it as her own and literally make hundreds of thousands and get an award for your story. People may get a negative view of my work from down votes with no comments, but it's nothing like what I've already dealt with. Nothing is worse than having someone make big money off your work, nothing.
It didn't stop at stories, I tried youtube for a time and the big names stole my stuff. Current big name letsplay! series did/do too. After having a few (almost every) skits stolen word for word I quit there too.
This is practice for my livelihood posting here, one of my stories (A Timber Tale) is intentionally worded so I can rework it later to a non MLP setting. But I don't get paid to write here, I'm just starting out. By that I mean I haven't published yet, I really should or I will end up with Steven King level story backlog one of these days.
Two of my current stories on here are meant to be funny, not taken too seriously, and well one of them is a tribute to a comedy group. Interestingly one of them is the one with the down vote, maybe because it was the one that really doesn't take itself too seriously.
Every story I post says please post criticisms, not a single one yet. I welcome critiques, but a down vote without one reads like hate to me and reminds me of those people from the old forums. It may not be, but considering some of the work on here that gets high up votes well it may just be people and ponies are biased. Or so used to a certain style of writing they can't stand something different. I know I can't change how they think, but I can keep doing my work. However I do wish they had a way to track who down voted you, I think it would make people less likely to post hate based down votes.
As for needing to be thick skinned as a writer, well I've got that I went to a trades school in a communication arts field. Critiques are filled with people who praise their chosen idol and rip apart the outsider/outlander (me). And no it isn't for valid reasons most of the time. Those are the kinds of people I think of when I see a down vote and no comment on my work. I imagine their faces, their attitudes, and downright astronomical egos and levels of entitlement. And inside I get upset, then I laugh because I know that type of person and how they work and why they do it. I may not be right but the fact is I still think of that kind of person first.
I laugh because even though those down votes hurt my stories chances, all I see is those ex classmates and their faces in that frown they do smashing the down vote button. Over and over, and I see them grumbling and moaning about everything bemoaning their lot in life and projecting on my work and myself. And I laugh, because though the down votes hurt the laughter helps it hurt less.
As for your own writing, don't let the people and ponies with frozen frowns knock you down. Keep getting back up and keep writing, I'll look into your work after I get a nap in.. And I'll post a comment and possibly critique.
Glen Gorewood