Confused

I'm not really sure how well Untouchable is being received. It has a lower view count than most of my one shots and that includes the cringe-worthy trash that is Pony Punting Palooza even though it is significantly longer than anything I have written so far and is several chapters in.

If anyone could please let me know what is and isn't working or have any suggestions of how I can boost the views without looking like an attention grabbing tool it would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

[The Wandering Bard]

I've found that putting the story in as many groups as you can helps, and also promoting it in the groups that will allow it. I've managed to get a good amount of views on some of my stories that way.

[Magenta Gleam]

4118810
I've added it to 9 groups so far, submitted it to EQD and advertised it in I think 3 more groups.

I'm started to get worried that the story isn't as good as I feel like it is.
(Not that I think it's amazing, just that it's at least mildly enjoyable.)

[The Wandering Bard]

4118819
Yeah, I get that. I tend to add my stories to plenty more groups since I'm in a ton, but I'll also do it over the course of a few days. And I add it to the groups with the most people first.

I wish you luck with it, and I look forward to reading it myself!

[Magenta Gleam]

4118834 Thanks Bard, I hope I don't disappoint.

EDIT: Next chapter will be posted in 4.5 hours.

[The Wandering Bard]

4118858
You're welcome! And awesome! I'll probably read it over the weekend, so I don't have to rush through it.

[Magenta Gleam]

4118887 By then there might be more to read. (time zones allowing)
I'm trying to get down an appointed upload time for my dailies which will likely be 3pm AEST.

[The Wandering Bard]

4118916
Alrighty! Looking forward to reading it all!

[Final fantasy forever]

I'll give it a read when I get the chance

[Magenta Gleam]

4118959 Thanks. :)

[Final fantasy forever]

4118975

Your welcome friend

[Kydois]

Well, I haven't read the story yet, but I can start with your long description.

During a fact finding mission Lyra Heartstrings accidentally brings a human into Equestria but this human soon finds out that he has a curse cast upon him.

Is there a cure or will he die as he lived? Untouchable.

Dark ambitions, cruel jokes and more surround Eric Hayes, can he find a cure for his curse before he gets swept up in the problems of others and pays the ultimate price?

The first sentence already has a few grammar issues. In a sentence that should have commas, there are none, and the third paragraph has a run-on sentence. The third paragraph repeats the fact that there is a curse on this guy stated in the second paragraph. I'd cut the second paragraph entirely or stick a piece of it onto the end of the third paragraph.

Try something like:

During a fact finding mission, Lyra Heartstrings accidentally brings a human into Equestria, but this human soon finds out that he might have a few extra strings attached to his relocation.

Dark ambitions, cruel jokes, and more surround Eric Hayes. Can he find a cure for his curse before he gets swept up in the problems of others?

Or will he pay the ultimate price and die as untouchable as he lived?

To be honest, while your long description does have a few grammar issues, I'd say a bigger problem is that your long description is too much of a summary. It lays its cards out too quickly, and the reader isn't actually left with any reason to be interested in the story. Word of advice: questions that the reader asks themselves are more enticing than questions you pose to the reader. Leave some mystery in your long description, and use it to draw interest. Write it the same way you'd try to write a prologue.

[Magenta Gleam]

4119189 Thank you for the advice. Would you mind if I used that description?
I can definitely see where it is better than the current one.

[Kydois]

4119203
Go ahead and use it if you want. It's not like I'm going to be using it.