Howlinq II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985) · 12:50am Jul 17th, 2016
I know what you're thinking. Where the heck have you been? I mean this is the time for vacations and cutting loose! Well fear not my intrepid readers I've been quite busy. Living it up as it were and spending money as if it were a finely crafted box of Thunderbird. Until this week, I've been seeing doctors of one variety or another.
Nothing too special on my part, you get some skin that melts off, get some burns on your hand, have to push certain parts back where they are supposed to be. You know good stuff. One of the cats, apparently feeling jealous of my visits said, "Two can play at this game," decides to pee blood and puke all over the place which leads to a series of vet visits. Suffice it to say I haven't felt like doing much.
I'm working on it though. Cellular regeneration is happening. Sleep is being had. Work, of one variety or another is being taken care of. Although I'm left to wonder if maybe I could have saved money by getting bitten by a werewolf? I mean then the cat and I could have gone to the same doctor and all. I'm not sure I'd have liked having a thermometer shoved up my butt though. Then again if Sybil Danning were the doctor I might be able to be convinced. Probably not.
Speaking of of one of the She-devils of Belzak, Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf featured the previously mentioned Danning as Stirba the werewolf queen. See what happened was a few years earlier the movie The Howling made 17.5 million dollars on a 1.5 million dollar budget. After four years the studio got full-moon fever and decided, "Hey if we make a movie for even less money but add a whole bunch of tits, Christopher Lee and Captain America we can make a ton of cash!"
In this movie Reb "Captain America" Brown is mourning the death of his sister, the reporter who got all fuzzy at the end of the first movie. While at her funeral he's approached by Christopher Lee who attempts to convince him and one of the dead reporter's former co-workers that she's a werewolf and had to be put down for good. Suffice it to say Reb doesn't believe him and goes to kill him at the cemetery... until they have to deal with a full blown werewolf attack!
Now convinced that they need to fight the forces of darkness Lee and company head to the one place where all werewolves live Transylvania. When there they know they have to drive a titanium stake through the heart of the werewolf queen Stirba who also happens to be several millennia old and is Lee's sister. She also has the hots for him and proves it in a manner of speaking at the end.
This movie is silly. On the plus side it's relatively action packed, Christopher Lee plays his role as well as he could given the script. Reb Brown does his usual action hero screaming thing. The plot is an unfortunate mess. Skipping all of the vampire traits the movie has the main reason Lee and Brown are trying to stop Stirba is because she's bent on world domination supposedly.
But is she? I mean, if world domination means flashing your boobs well there are a lot of girls who do that. Mostly, it just seems like she and her werewolf followers are all about the orgies and punk music. So in other words Lee and Brown are looking to mess up a swingers shindig because they weren't invited. Talk about a party foul.
Anyway check it out and as a bonus this movie represents the second time Reb Brown and Christopher Lee worked together (the first being Captain America II: Death Too Soon) and the first time Brown and director Philippe Mora worked together (the second time was Death of a Soldier).
Stats: 56 dead bodies, 60 breasts (most of them Dannings), shootings, stabbing, eye exploding, spearing, 1 scene of ritual plastic surgery, face melting, multiple scenes of aardvarking, electric nails, vampire confusion fu, silver fu, titanium fu, dwarf fu, werewolf orgy fu, caption fu, fire fu, tail stabbing fu, 80's sunglasses fu.
Shout outs:
Christopher Lee as Stefan for reading from Revelation and for saying, "Your sister is a werewolf," with class.
Reb Brown as Ben White for shooting his way through an army of lycanthropes with his classic scream.
Sybil Danning as Stirba for showing off her two amazing talents and for having fun with a silly role.
Marsha Hunt as Mariana for also showing off her talents and beating a fellow werewolf while shouting, "Control it!"
I only saw the first one. I'll have to check it out.
I think I've seen... all of them.
they get pretty bad after the original.
Thunderbird comes in boxes? I've only ever seen it in bottles.
4096995 Everything comes in boxes if you intend to buy enough of it sir!
4096992 I think the best way I could describe them is a series of guilty pleasures. I can sit and watch one of them and enjoy it but, not think, "This is the pinnacle of film!" I mean... I did sit through movies like ThanksKilling, Blood Car and Vampire Dentist. They aren't as bad as those.
4096831 For me, it's a fun movie. Not a masterpiece by any stretch but I have a good time!
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I'm waiting with baited breath for you to review The Beast Must Die. It is what I would consider a defining movie of the genre. The genre being 70's b-horror.
My wife has been wanting to watch more Christopher Lee movies for a while now, and it's gotten to the point where I'm Lee-curious as well, but I'm thinking this might not be the one.
With that said, the trailer is actually pretty good!
4098771 Well depending on how much Lee you want the quality will vary. I mean he has very small roles in movies like, Moulin Rouge (the 50s one), Tale of Two Cities and Captain Horatio Hornblower R. N. and while they tend to be well thought of or classics you may have to look elsewhere if you want more Lee. Therefore, if Howling 2 isn't your thing, I might suggest movies like Alias John Preston (one of Lee's first meaty roles) , Rasputin: The Mad Monk, The Man with the Golden Gun (not personally a fan of Roger Moore but it is what it is), The Gorgon, and Hands of Orlac, and The Wicker Man (though it does have some silly 70s stuff in it) come to mind.
4098019 It shall be on the list. Which list? The watch list!
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Does that mean it can't ride on planes?
4113078 Well you know what they say... Ooh baby baby it's a wild world!
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It's hard to get by, just upon a smile?
4114223 Pretty much. But, that's why such movies need buns. Though it's like the man said... can't trust a big butt and a smile.
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4098771
The wicker man, is a must watch. The original, not Nick Cage and THE BEES! It is a true... ummm something.