It hurts. · 10:47pm Apr 25th, 2016
I've been part of this fandom for 4 years now, and a lot has changed in that time, I've had ups, and a lot of downs, I essentially failed school, getting D's as my highest grades, fired from my first job after only 9 weeks, spent nearly three years at college which in my opinion I don't know why I did now since i'm coming to the end of my third year of it and I can't stand being in college anymore.
I was a messed up person before I joined the mlp fandom, I came along for the ride and it helped me with a lot of things, even writing, but even after a while that got old, i've had my heart and mind broken by so many people that most days I feel at the end of my tether.
and it doesn't help that after 19 years its taken that long for me to go with my mother to see what may be wrong with me, and apparently I might have asperger syndrome, I don't understand what it is entirely, but the fact that i may have something wrong with me absolutely terrifies me. they could of spotted this stuff early when I was 8 for fucks sake.
I don't know what to do with my life anymore and im coming to the end of my education and my family is moving home again after only being here in this one for two years after moving from the previous one of 13 odd years, and the things I do that usually calm my nerves and anxiety aren't working as normal, which means writing on here is almost impossible for me to do, it doesn't help that my desktop broke and I don't have the money to fix it which leaves me with less thing to do and it get bored and lonely very quickly.
I want to continue, but I just don't have the will or the energy to do it. I still read on the site but writing my own things has just lost its appeal to me on here, i used to be happy when I did it, now i don't.
I feel so alone these days, I have very few friends I keep in contact with and that number will drop even more when i leave college, hell im not exactly that well known on here so me dispersing wouldn't matter.
So essentially I'm not going to be doing anything more to my stories, not for a long time at least, I may come back some time later but not now, I have other things that are keeping me entertained but I just cant write pony anymore for the time being, so they will stay on indefinite Hiatus.
I still write stuff, just not here, I'll post a link to my new story I'm writing about a certain new animal Disney movie that came out in march if you guys wanna see me there, cause thats where i'll be, it keeps me happy somewhats since it's all fresh stuff and not something I haven't touched in 1-2-3 years.
I'll still be around reading on here but writing no. If you guys wanna talk I'm all ears but for now I guess this is goodbye for now after 4 years of love and tolerance. thank you. all of you
This has been DwayneHicks97, signing of for a long voyage into madness filled anxiety and depression.
I'll be back someday. just not today.
Hey, it's been a while.
It must feel awful in your situation, but don't quit now. You just need to find what you love to do, and find a way to revitalize yourself through that.
Stay strong.
-ShadowFall
Yeah we're here to support ya.