"Will my stream ever be good?" A text flowchart for people who want to be Twitch famous.

1. Do you plan on ranting about social justice warriors and feminazis?
A. Yes. (Go to 2)
B. No. (Go to 3)

2. Is your moderation team composed of easily offended cum dumpsters?
A. Yes (Go to 5)
B. N-no? (Yeah right. Go to 5)

3. How active is your moderation team?
A. They'll stop all evil trolls and flamers! (GO TO 5 AND NEVER TALK TO ME OR MY SON AGAIN.)
B. Moderation...team? I don't even have one mod! (Go to 4)

4. You sound good. Sorry that your stream will never make it, you have to eat shit to get popular. At least you aren't a jobless, insecure moderator of a Twitch stream though!

5. Congratulations, you're Twitch material! Take your "I am insecure and call myself mature due to my lack of social skills" certificate, and line up to kiss the CEO's ass. What, you think you're unique? There's millions of useless fucks like you trying to get famous, get smooching.

NOTE TO MODS: In forum-based environments like FiMFic, moderation goes smoothly most of the time, and so far this place seems just. In instant messaging environments like Twitch, the very fact that there's a ban system is proof that the developers have no idea how chats work. This isn't against you guys. I'll wear the blue lipstick this time please spare me.

If you're wondering when I'll write something: Soon.

Comments

[Flutterpriest]

Eyes clearly has a crippling Twitch Addiction

[Eyes Over Heaven]

3869277 Video games in general.

My Twitch addiction is just irritating right now, ya heroin junkie.