"Will my stream ever be good?" A text flowchart for people who want to be Twitch famous. · 3:33am Apr 14th, 2016

1. Do you plan on ranting about social justice warriors and feminazis?
A. Yes. (Go to 2)
B. No. (Go to 3)

2. Is your moderation team composed of easily offended cum dumpsters?
A. Yes (Go to 5)
B. N-no? (Yeah right. Go to 5)

3. How active is your moderation team?
A. They'll stop all evil trolls and flamers! (GO TO 5 AND NEVER TALK TO ME OR MY SON AGAIN.)
B. Moderation...team? I don't even have one mod! (Go to 4)

Apparently I suck at names. · 6:14am Apr 7th, 2016

So I'm playing Rune Factory 4 and just made some fuck with mai non-horse waifu Margaret, intensifies, and I have a son. Named Noel. And I named myself Noel.

...Jesus I can picture it now, naming him.

"It's a boy. Good work, I'm gonna scream at tomato juice in fear."
"Thank you, Jonas! He's beautiful. Noel, what do we name him?"
"Well, Meg, my sexy lovely elf wife...He's Noel."
"Junior?"
"Nah."
"The second?"
"Hell no. Just Noel."

3DS games are my new life, goodbye writing goals. · 6:09pm Apr 5th, 2016

Press F to pay respects.

Report Eyes Over Heaven · 212 views ·

Apr

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Dear hotel I'm staying at: · 10:32am Apr 5th, 2016

Fuck you. 1% left on the download and you fuck me over. I'm drinking bleach tonight. Bye everyone, see you in like five minutes because there's no bleach here.