It's Been a While.... · 5:51pm Feb 21st, 2016
Hey Fimfiction!
Been a while since you've heard from me, and I figured it was only fair to you all to understand why I've been so slow with updates.
In two days, it'll be a year anniversary since my heart surgery. The year since then has been... well, wild.
If ya want a summary of what you're about to read, just imagine that Rainbow Dash Presents scene where RD just goes up to Fluttershy and just, "Hey Fluttershy, wanna talk about our traaaaaaaumas???"
So this year, I've had a lot of shit happen. For one thing, I've realized that I'm agender. The process of realizing that was pretty mentally taxing, and took up a lot of my time. The identity issues I was having also helped affect my mental health. I haven't disclosed this on Fimfic yet, because I've been nervous to, but I was diagnosed with depression, general and social anxiety, and ADD with autistic traits around sixth grade. (I also have many symptoms that don't apply to any of my current diagnoses', and I've been trying to go through the process of being reevaluated for a few other mental illnesses, which my therapist is less than willing to do. She feels that diagnosing isn't important, that it isn't important to know why I'm having certain symptoms if I'm able to describe the symptoms themselves, but as someone with identity issues... diagnosing stuff is important to me. I've been trying for the better part of a year to convince her to at least do an evealuation, sio I can know for sure if I have other mental illnesses, but there's been no such luck ther.) This year, my mental health professionals realized that I also had PTSD from all of my physical health bullshit, and, with the fun new traumatic experience of heart surgery, I've been a bit of a mess. I've kind of been in and out of school dealing with mental health stuff, so work on Visiting Chaos has been... slow, to say the least.
I've also been having chronic kidney stones, and might be having another surgery to correct that issue... that's kind of up in the air right now, but the possibility has still been scary.
I also have a new hyperfixation now, which is Bob's Burgers, meaning that that's... sort of all I wasnt to talk about. While I'm still passionate about MLP, my brain is kinda making it hard to write about anything but Jimmy fuckin' Pesto. (For anyone not in the know, hyperfixations are similar to special interests. They are very nearly the same thing, but people with ADD tend to just use the word hyperfixation, since there is some debate whether it's appropriate fr anyone who isn't autistic to use the term "special interest.") Long story short? my brain is currently not highly invested in anything that doesn't have anything to do with Bob's Burgers, especially, for whatever fucking reason, the Pesto family.
However! I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. I'm tentatively hoping for a release date of June for the next chapter! It will be weird, since the chapter is... y'know, based around winter, but eh, I just wanna get it done.
This isn't an excuse, just an explanation. It's been a doozy of a year, (esp. when you combine this with aplpying for college and senior year in general,) and I just wanted to explain why the story has taken so long... I feel I owe it to you guys.
Again, I'm really sorry, and I really hope to get to the next chapter soon. I still have a lot planned for Pinkie, Dis and Screwy!
Dang, you're cute.
Glad you're getting a handle on mental health stuff! D:
3768647
Aw, thanks! To both actually!
And yeah, I'm definitely trying to... I've been having trouble with meds and stuff but I think I'm getting a bit better. My teachers have this weird habit of showing medical stuff in class though, which is... not great, but other than that, I'm working on getting more stable!
3768976 Well you are! I'd say pretty, but I'm not sure if that's the right word with the agender thing.
And yeah, the conflict between your doctor not wanting to focus on specific diagnoses and you wanting to because of identity issues does make sense. Your doctor probably has good reasons for it, because fishing for classifications and mental health diagnoses is a thing and focusing on exact diagnoses instead of general problems that can blend across labels can be counterproductive, but it makes sense that you'd want to nail them down for personal reasons. It sounds like an awkward situation.
3769278 Yeah, cute is fine, thank you!
And yeah... a diagnoses to me would prove in my mind that I'm not faking or purposefully being difficult (and would also prove it to my mom) but she doesn't see it that way... I'm seeing my therapist today though, so maybe I'll make some progress!