• Member Since 5th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen July 7th

Hail King Sombra

We are all just stories in the end. Official scribe to his Royal Highness King Sombra of the Crystal Empire. His tales are as varied as they are poignant, sad and bittersweet. Remember them well.

More Blog Posts200


Sombra of the Sith? · 11:45pm Dec 31st, 2015

“Nyx! Come out of there this instant!”

“NO!” I was in the bathroom and I wasn't coming out. It was usually suicide to say that to the all-powerful King of the Crystal Empire, but I wasn't exactly in my right mind at the time (I was furious He'd rather see a movie than let me entertain Him AND my hooves were KILLING ME). I guess I was banking on the fact I had sewed His favorite stuffed toy bugbear back together after He'd thrown a fit over my last blog post and impaled it with black crystal spikes.

He loves that toy!

*sigh* I sigh A LOT in this job. Sometimes – not often – I really HATE my job, especially when He wants to sneak out of the castle in disguise to go see a new movie. You can disguise a lot of His features, but the blood-red, curved horn is NOT one of them.

I should have seen it coming when last week I caught Him with a copy of the Appaloosa Daily Watering Hole, looking at the new movie review section.


“Yes, my beloved King?”

“What are the 'Sith'?”

“Dead idiots who couldn't help their Master keep the Galactic Empire's slaves under control,” I replied distractedly, trying to keep my concentration on which harp string was the last I'd tuned.

“Hrumph,” He grunted, going back to reading. “Amateurs.”

The next day I answered the castle door to a very strange courier carrying a long, narrow package that looked like another torture device for the dungeons. Since when did Sombra resort to the internet to mail order his toys? He always makes them Himself, arguing no one crafted them in the quality crystals He desired.

I peered at the sender. Twilight's Happy Fun Intergalactic Dungeon Toys?!? What the buck?!? I thought they brown packaged these damn things for discretion!

“Never heard of 'em!” I slammed the castle door in the courier's face.

“They changed the name,” I heard the postal pony call out from behind the door. “They used to be Twilight's Dirty Toys for Despots Shack.”

“Still never heard of 'em.” I was unimpressed he was so familiar with the company he'd know this. “Try the Yak's Castle down the road!”

A MINUTE LATER - “Nyx? Was that the courier from Twilight's Toys with my package?”


ANOTHER MINUTE LATER - “Nyx, why is your hoof bleeding?”

“I ran after the courier in my bare hooves,” I explained, giving Him the package. “The landscape slaves haven't cleaned off the walkways from when you impaled the last assassin with crystal shards.”

“WHAT?” he yelled. “THAT WAS A WEEK AGO!!!”

“Tell me about it,” I sighed again, this time in pain.

What a night. I leaned over to pick evil, black splinters out of my toe. I caught Sombra looking at the blood dripping from my hoof with interest. He ran His tongue over His lips. I put on a sly smile, shifting my hips under His favorite nightgown in a way He instantly noticed. “Does Somby want a midnight snack?” I whispered.

Turns out Somby, er Sombra, did.

There are days I HATE my job. The evenings make up for them.

(Oh, and you find out what the package was that came from Twilight's Dirty Toys for Despots Shack.)

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 4 )

No words can describe my reaction to this post.

3654779 Uh, thanks? I guess. Or did I traumatize you for life?

3654900 you did not traumatize me. I just can't explain how I feel about this except for it being random and humorous.

Lol, I'm glad I didn't scare you away. This is actually pretty far into Nyx's and Sombra's relationship. It's a far cry from her origin story where he threatened to wipe out the entire Marazon race to obtain her powers of prophecy. It's definitely more serious and grim. I'm writing that piece right now. The first part is ready for my brand, shiny new proofreader to tackle, just haven't thrown it his way yet.

So, thanks for the comment, grekoy! If ever there is a side to King Sombra you'd like to see in story form, drop me a line and I'll try to come up with something for you. BTW, I tried to upload an image with this post, but FIMFiction is being a butt tonight and it keeps not showing up. Hopefully I can get it to show soon. Have a Happy New Year!!!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!