Season 2: Why Mysterious Mare-Do Well Was Awesome

Well, that's not going to draw any attention is it?

For those newly arriving: I have come out of month-long site hiatus and general pony hiatus since the start of the new Season. I figured I'd rewatch the whole thing while I caught up, and write down some random thoughts. It has given me some inspiration for new stories, but nothing I've announced yet. So here's the brief announcement: it's a oneshot, dialogue-centric piece between Luna and Discord, and it may be a spiritual successor to one of my more successful stories. One of my contest-winners, let's say.

In the meantime, here are some observations on the second Season, copied from a Google Doc, so there may be some lay-out issues. Enjoy!

Also note that I re-watched all this before seeing Season 5, so you may catch some oddities here and there.

Return of Harmony, parts 1 and 2.

“It’s a draconequus.” Okay, may have misspelled it here and there. Also note: it’s a draconequus. Not the draconequus. So the image returns in other places. Would explain the Discord-shaped lamps in Trade Ya.

The Elements of Harmony do charge up enough for Twilight to get the glow in her eyes and lift the girls up.

It’s established in Equestria Girls 1 that the Element of Magic has its own powers, not requiring the others to work. So Spike not being Rainbow Dash shouldn’t matter that much. Nor should the girls being discorded. Something ought to happen. Unless...

It is Twilight that’s the problem. Discord’s gotten under her skin, and not just turned her friends against her, but her against her friends. That’s why he looks surprised when he sees them floating: that plan might have backfired if Twilight hadn’t given in and called them all jerks. He never discords her directly, either.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie, despite being discorded, are right. It is Twilight’s fault.

We never see discorded foals, unless the CMC count. It’s left somewhat ambiguous.

Rainbow Dash vs the other Elements: it takes four of them to hold down one of her. Rainbow Dash is also the only one who claims to not remember what’s happened at all.

First appearance of the Shining Armour shield magic, so it didn’t appear first in Ponyville Confidential. Apparently it’s chaos-proof, too.

Lesson Zero

Discord totally beat Twilight. Look at her eyes every time she’s happy one of her friends has a ‘problem’. She gets stars in her eyes, much like the ones that pop up around Discord and have led to fan theories about him being Star Swirl. Her pupils don’t dilate like they do when she’s high on Friendship, either.

The ‘Want it, Need it,’ spell makes any object irresistible. Why would such a spell exist? Because of evil salesponies, of course. Why would Twilight know an illegal spell? So she’d be able to develop immunity, know how to defend against it. You know, same sort of defense that might be relevant against a spirit of chaos messing with your head through magic, or a changeling using a glamour to go undetected.

Twilight used a mind control spell on three little girls. If she’d been a stallion, she’d have been locked up on severe charges.

Very minor detail, almost missed it: Rainbow Dash is addressed as RD. Applejack starts the abbreviatin’ in this Season.

Luna Eclipsed.

Ponyville Retirement Village is a place. Might be the same place that collapses in MMDW.

No horse-looking skulls around. Might be carved fruits, though. Squashes?

“Spooky voice might work better if she wasn’t dressed like that.” And Twilight chuckles. Twilight, voiced by Tara Strong, who uttered the following in a different show:

“That would have been a lot more profound without the hat.”

Coincidence? I think not!

The eye design the Night Guards wear on their neck is the same as on the balloons in Ponyville. Given that this is a celebration surrounding Nightmare Moon, that means the fan-named Night Guard willingly associate themselves with the character of Nightmare Moon, not Princess Luna or the Mare in the Moon.

Luna, does Hades know you stole his chariot? I think he might sick his dog on you if you don’t return it.

Luna wears glitter on her armour. You’d think that makes her stick out more in the night, but if she’s contrasted against the night sky, with the stars and all… I dunno. Is she wearing camouflage? It’d only work if she’s lit from the front, at best.

Also, she desires cries of delight, admiration. Shame she wasn’t around when Trixie came to town. That would have been a long and beautiful friendship. Or one very short but entertaining fight to the death.

She’s having trouble adjusting after being gone for a thousand years. Really? Might wanna keep that line in mind when Season 3 rolls around. There’s someone else that excuse can apply to, hint hint.

This entire episode is purely about the kids’ reactions, not the adults. The kids are the ones who run; all the other adults act like anyone would when they’re intimidated by a royal. Well, except Pinkie. But that’s Pinkie.

The little girl, dressed up as a princess, who wants to be a zombie next year? Parenting done right. Or, considering what sorts of spells exist in and out of legality, parenting gone horribly wrong.

Not that many details to note on this, but it bears noting even after all this time: the acting on Luna is stupendous. Movie quality. And no, I don’t just mean the voice acting, though that obviously helps. I mean all of the acting: how she walks, talks, every little motion. Wonderfully done. A lot better than Celestia, that stiff corpse.

Why would she have trouble with the volume of her voice? Well, she was locked away for a thousand years. Austin Powers was locked away for, what, a decade, two? Also, Nightmare Moon had the ability to turn into smoke, and did so all the time, implying she wasn’t completely corporeal. If you’re not used to having a solid body anymore, some things are bound to go a little haywire. Be glad the loud noises are coming out of her mouth, is all I’m sayin’.

Sisterhooves Social

Applejack calls her little sister AB.

Sweetie Belle spends an awful lot of time dwelling and whining on Rarity’s behaviour. A lot like Rarity was dwelling on Fluttershy in Green Isn’t Your Colour, or on Sweetie Belle here.

I have to wonder if we’ll ever see a conversation like the one between AJ and Sweetie/Apple Bloom regarding Scootaloo adopting Rainbow Dash as a sister. With Scoots’ actual family involved.

I gather there’s a Brotherhooves Social in Season 5, or some such nonsense, possibly to do with some trans drama that caught my ear on DA. No idea what that episode would be like, though. I mean, no real reason for Big Mac to even want to join in the first place. Ah, well, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Or burn it.

So Rarity had no qualms about running around with mud on her? Well, she does take mudbaths at the spa. That’s a thing.

Cutie Pox

Scootaloo’s got an awful strong kick for a pegasus filly. Earth pony blood, mayhaps? Also, that girl is totally handicapped. Look how she completely fails to get any airtime while weighed down with bowling balls. Not a good sign if she can’t even get off the ground with that little weight on her back.

“Maybe I could get my cutie mark in demolition.”

Fair point, actually. Rainbow Dash did demo work in Lesson Zero. And she’s already got the helmet.

“Oh, my star apples.” That’s a thing now, too, I guess. That’s a lot of potion to drink for just a chipped tooth. Conservation of mass, perhaps?

Apple Bloom takes the plant while Zecora is away for amethyst, a blue flower that’ll give the potion full power. But, err… think for a second. Blue flower, gives the potion its full magic power?

Zecora’s just chuckin’ Poison Joke into everything and assuming it’ll work, right? That’s her only real magic: talking to the Joke.

And not only that: Apple Bloom makes her own potion. What would have happened if she’d taken the potion Zecora had made?

Opening shot at the playground, zero colts. Of course.

The reappearance of Peachie Pie. Dang, I’m gonna have to account for that in my Flight Camp sequel somehow.

There are… what, seventeen kids on that yard, twenty-ish? 3 colts: Snips, Snails, and Shady.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon manage to get their hoops turning. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle do not. The rich girls are still better at it than the blank flanks. And Apple Bloom’s response to both is mostly the same: keep practising and you’ll be as good as me, or learn a new trick.

As for practical use in teaching kids how to do this, there is some merit to it, just barely. Physical education does get taught in school, and if you want to encourage children to become educators it’s not a bad idea to have them start early, if only for a little while. Child preachers are a thing, too, remember. Plus, look at what AB can do with that thing. That’s a bona fide improvised weapon, right there. Besides, when Apple Bloom moves out into town, there are one or two kids standing with adults there, implying it’s not even a school day, but rather some after-school or holiday sitting thing.

Why even assume that it’s two cutie marks in the first place, especially coming from Cheerilee, who, technically, has three cutie marks? Six, if we’re counting symmetry. One, two, three flowers each side. This isn’t that far out of left field yet. And the look on Diamond Tiara’s face: priceless.

You can already kind of tell AB’s suffering from compulsions there: she never stops spinning, and immediately picks up the hoop when she’s dropped it. It’s still easy to think of it as one talent: performance.

Spike saying “Yes, well, I do have some talents.” in an episode all about talents being branded on your flank, that’s a nice touch.

If the numbers on the chart are in order of appearance, then it’s clear Apple Bloom doesn’t have the actual disease. The way it is supposed to progress is from chin to chest to arms to saddle area (need to look up what that’s called) to tail, and then to actual cutie mark territory before moving on to the hind hooves. Apple Bloom’s start on her flanks, go down her legs, then move up.

Oh, Lance, you masked mystery. Sad to say, you were too awesome for this show.

“Cursed, hexed, enchanted!” I think we’ve found the real reason Ponyvillians didn’t trust Zecora at first.

Look at Zecora’s face while Apple Bloom is infected. She’s enjoying every second it, stripey racist bitch.

Apple Bloom doesn’t tell Spike to sign the letter. It’ll just get stuck on Celestia’s spam filter, then.

May the Best Pet Win!

Favourite overall episode of the series, so highly biased towards it. May have seen it once or twice more than any other episode, but that’s not saying much.

You can tell Rainbow wants a pet that’s as fast as her just from the dream sequence: she thinks it’s awesome Owlo can keep up with her. She’s laughing, not grumbling. About an owl who’s as fast as she is.

Gummy isn’t biting into Pinkie’s head; look at his jaws. He’s doing his best impression of the Brainsucker from Powerpuff Girls.

The term ‘pony pet playdate’ would have a very different meaning in the leather and chains crowd, or just depending on where you put the spaces. Just watch: ponypet playdate, pony petplay date, ponypetplay date. Mind, you’ve met gutter, right?

Fluttershy says “You’ll be best friends forever.”

And then she goes on to suggest monarch butterflies and a solitary wasp. Exactly how long do insects live in this world, on average?

I can’t for the life of me pause in the middle of that Disney-esque song, which is basically the marijuana to Winter Wrap-Up’s crack cocaine, but some things did pop up:

-the seal that can breach the water. That looks like a sea lion, and sounds like a sea lion. No reason not to call it a sea lion except for the rhyme, in which case they modelled it after the sound they had in stock. But this is a world where wallaroos are a thing, so I can kind of let that slide. Not a marine biologist, after all. Close, but not quite.

-the bat Fluttershy picks out for Rainbow? Was hiding in a cloud. Bats can hide in clouds. I’m guessing that would mean Nectarine can, too? And cleaning clouds has a very different connotation now, too: if bats can hide in clouds, any cloud is a potential source of guano, or vermin. Considering how the ponies reacted to a bunny stampede, bats being able to get a foothold in Ponyville could be bad for the gardens, moreso than any weather phenomenon.

Rainbow knows and uses the word ‘peers’. Not that remarkable, just thought I’d throw it out there.

“That is why you would never qualify to be my pet.” Says the rainbow-maned pony to the closet domme. Other way around? Oh, easily.

When the bat is doing his routine with the glasses? His wings are translucent. Little detail.

Tank is starting to creep Rainbow out. And he participates in an event he’s technically banned from, since he didn’t qualify. Doesn’t that make him a stalker?

Rainbow Dash picks a pet that’s basically a walking medkit. Can’t say it’s not a practical choice.

In any other show, the falcon would have growled and stormed off angrily.

Spike saluting a fellow little scaly. Aww.

Mysterious Mare Do Well

The good stuff keeps on coming. Favourite Rainbow Dash episode of the series.

So, err… let’s forget about Applejack being made Golden Ponyvillian or whatever after stopping a stampede. Or Fluttershy getting her fifteen minutes of fame. Or the fact that Rainbow Dash is right: she does things no one else had the guts to do. We know no one else had the guts because no one else did it.

The Mayor sees through this whole thing right from the first rescue. And she knows full well how fickle ponies are in their adorations, as a politician. She’s just going to try and shame the girls into realising they’re doing wrong. That’s why she makes it so public.

Don’t believe me?

Why else would she dub this ‘hero’ Mare-Do-Well, just a breath away from, oh, I don’t know, Ne'er-Do-Well?

The big thing about the ‘failed’ rescues from Rainbow Dash is: there’s never a causal relationship between her failing and her acting like a diva. The carriage already built up too much momentum for her to stop. She’s not going to get Earth pony super-strength just because she acts right away. If anything, if she rushed in without even thinking about it, she could have gotten run over. More to the point, what would have happened if AJ had failed, too? She waited longer, remember?

And besides that, teensy little detail that’ll come up around the end. Pinkie uses her Pinkie Sense to predict the debris falling. Do the girls use that same Sense to know where disasters will come up? If not, Twilight’s doing a lot of teleporting in this. The other ponies can’t fly as fast, they don’t have that response time, pure and simple. Rainbow Dash gets around to those disasters because it’s her job; she patrols, because she’s supposed to save ponies. Or at least, she thinks so. I mean, it’s not like the Wonderbolts ever tried to save anyo-oh, right, Rarity in Sonic Rainboom. Huh.

Well, it’s not like Rainbow Dash has any reason to want fame, right? She doesn’t have any dream job to aspire to-oh, wait, Wonderbolts again, her defining motivation for an entire Season. Funny how they’re not even mentioned in this episode.

So, worst-case scenario: the girls are fine with predicting a disaster will happen, and waiting ‘till the last minute to start saving anypony, which is pretty much what they dislike about Rainbow, except Rainbow doesn’t do that to spite anyone. Forget prevention, forget letting the hype die down by simply not getting ponies put in harm’s way and letting Rainbow Dash return to business as usual. Best case scenario: the girls are following Rainbow Dash around, and wait for a disaster to happen so they can save the ponies, giving Rainbow Dash a distraction she doesn’t need instead of helping overtly.

Construction site. Again: how does Rainbow Dash trying to say her catchphrase magically stop her from gaining the Pinkie Sense? For that matter, Pinkie Pie doing the saving, relying on her never-explained abilities? Assuming it does work perfectly, Pinkie’s not in any real danger then, is she? Rainbow Dash cannot predict debris falling. She is still risking her life. She’s running, with a weight on her back, whereas any avalanche dodging she’s done so far has been airborne. She does save one guy. Without using Pinkie’s, by comparison, superpowers.

At the dam. Again, if the girls knew the dam was going to break, then that means they let it break. If not, then Rainbow Dash was doing exactly what she thought she was supposed to. How would any change in her behaviour have led to a different outcome? She doesn’t have a horn, she doesn’t have the time to go get help, like, say, Twilight, who was right the f*ck there but Rainbow didn’t see because of the costume.

My favourite part of the episode, and favourite part of the series: the Humiliation Conga of Rainbow Dash.

She’s been put in the same situation as Twilight was just a few episodes ago: since she’s modelled her identity based on solving problems, once there are no problems, she is without purpose. So she overreacts, even harasses some ponies. Hey, at least she doesn’t cast a mind control spell on some underage girls, right?

Her friends mock her for being jealous. Jealous of a pony who’s appeared out of nowhere, with no background, and who is seemingly better than her at every possible thing. After all the hard work she put into getting as good as she is.

Said friends include a pony who’s gotten a whole day, a whole day, dedicated to her by the entire town for doing something that didn’t even save any lives. This same pony later gets another town celebration just for entering a contest and promising to donate the money. Where was Rainbow’s support when she was off to Cloudsdale? Her mocking friends include a pony she’s stood up for against bullies, someone she’s known since she was little. Worth noting it doesn’t include Pinkie Pie (she’s not in that scene, she doesn’t mock Rainbow or praise Mare-Do-Well), the one who was basically the pony she chose over her old friend, Gilda. But that comes up later.

Said friends include a pony who’s upstaged her at a flying competition, without being born with wings or having any experience or training in flight. A pony who owes Rainbow her life. Oh, and that pony who got a whole day dedicated to her, even got an award? That same pony tied down Rainbow’s wings in a race to stop her from ‘cheating’. ‘Cheating’ meaning ‘using things you were born with but I wasn’t’. And only applying to Rainbow; Earth pony strength doesn’t count. Let’s also ignore the Iron Pony had plenty of rodeo events, but a suspiciously low number of speedster events.

Rainbow’s friends have abandoned her.

She’s on her own, on a dark cloud, learning that fame is fleeting. The hard way. That no matter what you do, ponies will forget about you and ignore you. Even Squirt, her biggest fan, prefers a new hero now. No one remembers you.

Unless, of course, you’re a Princess or an Apple. But that’s an observation for a different episode.

Rainbow Dash is broken. Humiliated, publically. She does the dumbest things she does all series. This is her at her lowest point.

And then she learns her friends are the ones responsible. After everything they’ve gone through together, they pull this crap. And why?

Because they didn’t like how her attitude was getting after a while.

Because they didn’t want her to rub those achievements in everypony’s face.

Achievements she worked hard to get, achievements she’d like to top, and maybe start doing professionally. But never mind all that.

What do they do? Well, see the above.

Never mind Rainbow risking her life, or wanting to be a Wonderbolt.

Never mind Twilight and Trixie.

Never mind even going to talk to her when she’s feeling genuinely down, like they did with Twilight in Lesson Zero.

They did this to her. And unlike Lesson Zero, this wasn’t environmental; this was premeditated. The Princess doesn’t show up and make everything okay when Rainbow screws up. This was a conspiracy against her. Something she may never live down.

So what does she do?

She forgives them. Just like that. Because, as a certain other equine once famously put it:

“That’s what friends do: they forgive each other.”

What’s loyalty?

This episode, man. Best Rainbow Dash episode ever.

Why is this the best RD episode for me? Because I, for one, sympathise with Rainbow Dash in this one, more than I do any other pony in any other episode. I don’t condone her behaviour, I certainly don’t think she should have gone on doing what she was doing, but I do feel for the character, a lot. The suffering is real, as much as it can be for a fictional character like her. If I could pick one point in this series to reach in and pat somepony on the shoulder and just talk, it’s when she’s sulking on that dark cloud, all alone and wondering why. That’s where I’d intervene, if I could. I can’t think of any episode or any character of this show where I can honestly say the same. Not the Sonic Rainboom, not Scootaloo in any of her future episodes, not Twilight in any of hers, past or present. Even Diamond Tiara in Season 5 has ponies with her, looking out for her, in her darkest hour. Rainbow Dash, for just a little while, does not. This, right there, is where I get the feels. Hence why this situation is such an elephant in the room in most of my fanfics.

Which makes it all the more heartwarming when in Season 4, the whole town seems to join in to help her memorise the rewritten history of Equestria. And her birthiversary being such a big event helps, too.

By the way, remember when I said Discord won in Lesson Zero? That implication that the stars in Twilight’s eyes meant Discord had managed to corrupt her more subtly than anything he did to the rest?

This episode’s kinda pointing that way, too. Twilight causes quite a bit of strife and turmoil for Rainbow, no? Assuming she’s the ringleader.

I like to think Rainbow Dash forgives everyone in this episode, but as the Season goes on, I like to pretend she’s getting even, too. This episode is a lot more clever than people give it credit for, in the full context of the Season. Just watch.

Sweet and Elite

One of the ponies sipping tea at the café gives Jet Set and Upper Crust a glare. Clearly some rivalry going on.

Neither side of the conversation calls Rarity’s hat a ‘hat’. Jet Set asks where she got that ‘chapeau’ and Rarity runs with it. It’s the only thing she’s wearing, but it has to be asked: was that just a test to see if she understood French?

In Rarity’s imagine spot with Fancy Pants at the Derby, there’s a unicorn stallion with sunglasses and a spikey mane. White tie, shirt, looks like 3 stars on his flank.

I’m stealing this character. I don’t know what for, but I’m stealing it. That guy looks too awesome not to use in something. Maybe I’ll keep him around as a spare dad for Scootaloo.

The Canterlot ponies inviting Rarity to their things use the same language and mannerisms as she does. Compare them to Green Isn’t Your Colour.

And that snappy-dressed unicorn again in the song, along with a slightly different Pokey, it seems? One on the left, light blue colour, three stars. Looks like he ought to be dating Vinyl Scratch or something, no?

Rarity gets invited by the same snobs who snubbed her.

Pinkie’s the one organising Twilight’s birthday party. Seems like a habit.

That dress is about as complicated as what she was going to wear for the Gala in season 1, no?

What are those hors d’oeuvres? I see paté, stuffed olive, what does Rarity take? What’s on that cracker, I wonder, that tastes so bad with chocolate?

If you want to really see the point of this episode, compare Upper Crust to Fancy Pants. One is a snob who’s dressed like an average rich pony. Privileged? Sure. Rich? Definitely, but of noble birth? Influential? Notsomuch, not at first glance. Dressed like Carlton Banks, doesn’t get that many ponies to listen to him. The other is designed to look like a noble, an actual sacré aristo. One’s got money, the other’s got raw powa.

“I have to do the thing with the stuff.” Rarity really does talk like a Canterlot pony. “Ve haff the thing at ze place,” remember?

For the sake of argument, pretend Rainbow Dash does spend most of this Season just getting even with everypony. Rarity: check. Rainbow Dash is the one suggesting they all crash the party.

More cutie mark designs on those bags.

Secret of My Excess

I used to think the longer tongue was the first clue of his changes, but remember Lesson Zero’s tongue bath at Sugarcube Corner. Spike’s tongue is always that long.

Two episodes in a row involving a birthday. Huh. And Pinkie Pie doesn’t organise the party for Spike. Double huh. Did Rarity not know Spike’s birthday was coming up? Did nopony else?

Tim Minchin would be so proud of Twilight Sparkle: “And like most gifts you get… itwas abook.” I wonder what one book Twilight has been giving him over the years.

The Cakes look awfully sentimental when they give Spike his present. Could be a subtle hint towards the pregnancy.

Cheerilee’s exact words: “Every pony should get great gifts on their birthday.” Two things:
-Spike the pony.
-Pinkie Pie in Part of One: ‘Birthdays aren’t about getting lots of stuff.’ Something along those lines, she sings it in the opening. Think it was to Rainbow. Mentioned it in part 1.

Spike says he’ll give Cheerilee her hat back. Even though the hat was freely given. The ball is what he stole, what he 'took' because he wanted it. I see what you did there, show.

The globe only has green continents on it. No ice lands, perhaps? With magically controlled weather and sunshine, it’d be a little tricky, anyhow.

Ponies have very, very tiny brains for such big heads. But then again, we see them get out of a lot of concussions, too. Homer Simpson Syndrome, anyone?

Remember in Cutie Pox, my little ramble about those three cutie marks being just one? Look at the vet’s cutie mark, here. That’s three cutie marks, too: a dog, a cat, and a duck.

Zecora is racist towards dragons. She blames the problem on a deficient heart, and basically tells Twilight she has to suppress his instincts. Which not only she cannot do, it’s not what brings the answer in the end: it’s Spike realising he’s not happy with what he’s doing.

Stripey racist bitch.

Not even two minutes after Zecora says he’ll keep growing with the more stuff he has, she’s demonstrated wrong: Spike gets a growth spurt chasing after a broom and not getting Scootaloo’s scooter. Citation needed, ya scalist, firebreathist… well, some kind of -ism applies here, for sure.

“You tied yourselves up?” Yes, Rainbow. Let the hate flow through you. Those who mocked you, who conspired against you, let them feel your pain.

Fluttershy’s squirrel friends are practising a dance step. You’re sure those are squirrels, and not chipmunks? Oh, Alvin?

We never see Spike go from oversized teen to his full-on draconic, long-snout form. Editing is magic. Worth noting, too: Spike steals from Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. Who does he leave be?

The Wonderbolts can cut through dragon spines. Presumably, dragon scales, too. They could have killed him, if they’d really wanted to. Why cower when they’re freed? Stall for time, surprise attack once the dragon lifts the thing up. Can’t they break out? Perhaps, but why bother? Dragon’s stuck holding them down, on the mountain and not in the more defensible cave. Say what you like about the methods, but they make beating Spike a lot easier.

Rarity doesn’t know that’s Spike, because Rainbow manages to address him, what, twice, three times? Without saying his name. And Rarity is willing to fight a fully grown dragon to protect her gem.

Hearth’s Warming Eve

Who is supposed to be watching Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle and AB, I can understand, but Scoots? Unless they’re supposed to be watching each other, I guess. That always works out, doesn't it?

Most of this episode is just unreliable narration, keeping up with a mare who writes history books with a pencil in one hoof and an eraser in the other.

Example: “Long before the peaceful rule of Celestia.” Because the current rule, which is Celestia and Luna, isn’t all that peaceful anymore, huh?

I never quite got why people saw this episode as proof that unicorns were a master race and Earth ponies were slaves: all three tribes clearly have dress-ups to show common ponies and richer, or higher birth ones.

More to the point, if Earth ponies were slaves, why did they have a Chancellor in the first place?

Oh, and in case anyone was keeping track: Puddinghead admits to them hogging all the food. Again, for clarity: out of all the ponies present, she admits to starving the others.

And, unless I’m mistaken on how military ranks work, she’s the only one who’s an elected official.

“Lick their wounds.” That’s a thing now. So is “Hold on to your hooves.”

Yup, Puddinghead claims to have been elected. So ponies voted for her. For the one who honestly does not care about the fact that the other two tribes are starving.

Who’s the master race now?

Puddinghead comes in through the chimney. Smart Cookie asks if the door wouldn’t have been easier. Judging by the snow coming in when Puddinghead exits, no. No, it wouldn’t have been easier.

“Mission at hand.”

Also, Hurricane is addressed as a ‘sir.’ Nice casting.

Their planet is called ‘Earth’. You maniacs! You burned it! You burned it to the ground! Damn you all to Hell!

… wait, what am I saying? We’ve had Earth ponies all along. Though I kinda figured there’d be Water ponies and Fire ponies coming along eventually… Oh, well, I'll just wait for the Fillies to mine that creative space.

And then the Earth ponies call their country Earth? Well, saves on administrative costs, I suppose. “Race and location, please.” - ”I’m an Earth pony.”

That, or one brilliant way of social engineering. “So, you’re an Earth unicorn, huh? Earth pony, then?” - “No, unicorn.” “But you’re from Earth, so you’re an Earth pony.”

So, according to this story, Puddinghead was the one who started throwing snowballs (ie making first physical contact), and the first one to actually cross the line in the cave.

I’m startin’ to wonder how that election campaign went back in the day. It may have preceded the blizzard, but I’m sure there’d been some, err, ahem, ‘hail’-ing involved.

“Why can’t Rainbow Dash do it? She’s got wings.” Still playing that old tune, huh, AJ? Fluttershy has wings, too.

And let’s end with everyone laughing at Rainbow Dash.

Soon, Rainbow, soon you will have your revenge.

Also, the ponies discovered Harmony by talking about their leaders, whom they hated. Kinda like how the CMC united in their dislike of Diamond Tiara. No force in history has brought people together more, shoved aside more prejudice, and fostered more peace between mortal enemies, than the force of the common enemy.

And that's your moral for a Christmas episode. Stay classy, show.

Family Appreciation Day

“Your secret’s safe with me.” One has to wonder if that’s true. Do we ever see any kid in class making fun of AB for having to wear a silly costume?

Ponyville Market is close to the prank shop from Griphon the Brush-Off.

Singing about Zap Apples is a good way to announce that the jam, a prized seasonal product, is coming. Publicity, old school.

Granny thinks Diamond and Silver are AB’s friends. And why wouldn’t she? After all, Apple Bloom got invited to their cuteceñeara, right?

Family Appreciation Day is not a holiday, but rather a school activity. Weird, that never registered before now.

“How different can they be?” says the unicorn filly who hasn’t learned any magic yet. Subtle.

“Happy as a pig in a fresh mudpile.”

Diamond Tiara does look astonished when Granny’s tale is over. And Apple Bloom does go on the offensive afterwards. Points to Griffynd-d’err, I mean Telaros.

How much zap apple jam has Scootaloo tasted so far, and why should she eat so much of it, if it’s only made once a year?

Baby Cakes

Mister Cake has exceptionally good hearing. Or that is very thin glass.

Important to note: the baker washes his hooves after changing his babies’ diapers.

“Take good care of our precious ginger snaps.” Says the blue mare. Who’s married to a… sort of ginger pony? Her kids aren’t, but their dad kind of is.

“You know what happens when you mix flour and water, don’t you?” She’s asking this to month-old babies. Then again, they may have seen their parents do this already.

Seems like both babies get magic surges, no? One’s just more obviously magic.

I never noticed that around the end, when Pumpkin’s floating every toy her way, every one of her ‘noms’ is retorted with a ‘no’.

Last Roundup

So we’ve never actually seen a rodeo come to town, but Applejack has been consistently winning them all the past few years. She’s a regional champion going to a national competition. And Best Young Flyers Competition is… well, not worth getting hyped over, because it has several Ponyville contestants, maybe, when this thing has only one per town?

Except there are many blue ribbons to win.

Oh, hey, Derpy got a mention of her name. Her voice is weird, I guess. Nice, but weird. At least they made her cross-eyed consistently in this episode. I like that. Good on you, show, putting a silly character with cross-eyes in. Lots of shows would have catted out with all the political correctness going around like the flu. Yes, I said ‘catted out'. It’s a thinker.

“Our little bushel’s just lost one Apple.” One has to wonder how many apples that bushel’s lost over the years. Big Mac can’t even say his yup right.

Worth noting the rodeo is done in Canterlot. Not any of the Western towns, not Manehattan, Canterlot. Think about that for a second.

Cherry Hill Ranch. That’s a place now. Cherry Jubilee seems like a nice mare, all in all. Room and board for seasonal workers, not too much of a fuss when things go awry.

Mare Do Well didn’t chase Rainbow Dash out of town, but Applejack gets to pack up and leave? Eenope.

“It’s time to call in the big guns.”

Rainbow getting even for Mare Do Well. Rarity: see Sweet and Elite. Applejack: check. And how.

Ponies know what a tortilla is.

Is that Shady Daze with his parents?

Applejack is doing this because she doesn’t have enough money. Makes the line “I’ll pay you quadruple to leave them in the dust” sound kinda weird, no?

“No time! They knew what they were getting into!” Yes, Rainbow. Let the hate flow through you...

Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000

Oh, Pinkie, you have scorned the Dash again. Your punishment will be special.

Hmm, who’s that mysterious mare rallying the others against the Apple family? Also, did Rainbow get her money back? Because she totally paid for that drink she did not get.

There’s been some debate on why the Flim Flam Brothers should be considered villains. Is their kapitalism somehow bad? Are they, in principle, wrong in making cider through machine and magic? Or by using simple business mechanics to drive Sweet Apple Acres out of business?

No.

They are the villains because they rely on mob rule: “Do you see what the Apple family doesn’t? I see it, he sees it.” And so on. They bully the Apples into agreeing, bamboozle everyone into agreeing with them. Had they done this in private, with enough time to consider everything, no worries on that front. However, second, they are the villains because they represent a non-sustainable means of exploitation. Do they own trees? No. Do they know anything about growing apples? No. They are, as they themselves say, neigh, sing, salesponies sans pareil. Salesponies, not farmers.

They only have one step of the production process in their control, whereas the Apples have several. Economies of… I keep forgetting if it’s span or scope. I think it’s scope. Vertical economies, basically. The brothers do not have the expenses that are troubling the Apple family. But they do abuse those expenses.

The brothers are not competing with the Apple family here, is what I’m getting at. They’re not in the same league, not really. The Apple family are their victims, to be exploited, not competition to be defeated.

Their real competition? Filthy Rich. Now there’s a hooficuffs I want to see.

“Who cares how good the cider is if I don’t get to drink any?” I’m gonna add that one to the list of things I learned writing pony fics: however epic your story may be, if it never gets finished, it’s junk. Art direction requires technical direction and vice versa.

This would be a very different episode if they’d managed to contact the small army of official Apples for this one.

Twilight does nothing. Not even use magic. Just, maybe, coordinate.

It’s the consumers who got duped here. By smooth talk, appeal to emotions, and tapping into a sense of entitlement, the consumers are manipulated into bullying the ones who make the product they enjoy so much.

Why are the brothers the villains? Not because they process the apples while sitting on their lazy butts. But because they can never get new apples sitting on their lazy butts. They don’t care about customer satisfaction or product quality, not really. They’ll gladly let their product suffer if it means a bigger turnover, even destroy the trees they’re supposed to be winning in the process. Who cares if the apples run out, right?

They are, in a very real sense, anti-consumer villains.

So it’s nice to see the consumers revolt against them.

Read It and Weep

She has bones in her wings?

Whoa. That nurse does look a lot like Diamond Tiara.

Twilight is standing on the side where she can see Rainbow’s pieces. And Rainbow’s pieces haven’t even been moved. Fair play, anyone?

Sweaty as pig wrangler on a summer day. That’s a thing now.

I think this is the first time we even see Rainbow eating any normal meal. What does her diet normally consist of?

“How will I ever find out what happened to Daring Do?!” Err… priorities much? How are you going to, you know, enter your home, which is a cloud several metres off the ground, if you’re supposed to stay off that wing?

Damn unicorns. You never get this problem with pegasus doctors.

How exactly did Rainbow Dash make enough noise to be heard at Sweet Apple Acres? I ain’t buyin’ it: AJ’s seein’ someone.

Considering Rainbow doesn’t consider herself smart, one has to wonder just what happened to her in Flight School. Or in grade school, for that matter. This comes back in Season 4, I learned today.

Rainbow Dash reads the whole story aloud. Might be significant, somehow.

Hearts and Hooves Day

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again:

Discord won. He corrupted Twilight into becoming a new harbinger of chaos and disharmony. Apple Bloom literally uses the word ‘chaos’ while she’s panicking. Wake up, sheeple!

Other than that, not much to say on this episode, besides: the cringe is real in this one.

“Ya think?” Huh. Scootaloo does take after Rainbow Dash in a few aspects. That line’s straight outta Best Pet.

Strange how the girls don’t think the issue is with the ‘pegasus’ feather they used to stir. Scootaling, anyone? Oh, wait, never mind, did that one already.

Big Mac should get that rattling in his head checked. That can’t be healthy.

So Ponyville is metropolitan enough to have a bowling alley and a jewelry shop. Considering how close it is to a former mine, not that surprising. Did the Diamond Dogs know there were gems in town?

Never mind the house not being stuck to the ground by its foundations, or Big Mac being strong enough to pull a house. How strong is that rope?

Now you see what happens when you have Twilight Sparkle as a role model. Pretty much the same thing she did to them, remember? Wouldn’t be surprised if we saw Twilight get the shmoopiedoo treatment with Flash Sentry in Season 5. Or 6. I can wait, as should be obvious by now.

A Friend in Deed.

Hello, Chip Mint. Goodbye, Chip Mint.

What the… Rhinox? Well, that’s another Hasbro show I need to see, actually.

On a side note, when they were starting the Beast Hunters plotline in Transformers: Prime, and they claimed that dragon and monster imagery came from Predacons and such, am I the only one who went “Where’s the frigging unicorn Predacon, then?!” Come on, golden opportunity wasted there.

Back to the regular viewing.

Cranky looks almost sorry for snapping.

The file I had for this episode seems to have gotten corrupted somehow, the thing just stopped dead around the climax, so… technical difficulties, gonna go get a fresh copy.

Okay, and back at the library: Rainbow getting even for MDW: Pinkie Pie gets a nice little blow to her self-esteem. Good, Rainbow, good, let the hate flow through you…

Putting Your Hoof Down

Angel’s not the only one mistreating Flutters. The other animals are just as disobedient and disrespectful.

Stallion at the asparagus stand sees this all happening. And that peptalk wastes Fluttershy’s time to get her stuff. Couple more stallions in the background than usual, too.

The basic problem is the girls use the sparrow method of teaching flight: the ole’ boot out of the nest. If there’s ever been any pony who doesn’t benefit from swim or sink teaching, it’s Fluttershy. Unless flying is involved. Then she becomes god, or something.

Huh. We actually see the goat delivering the letter. Didn’t notice that before.

Consider that there are so many ponies present to stop being a doormat. Then factor in how fickle they are with hero worship, how crude they can be with each other.

Ponies are herd animals, pure and simple. No wonder the rousettes don’t mix with’em.

Fluttershy vs the goat. Basically Fluttershy vs Gilda, with her spot switched.

So, err… Fluttershy walks through trash that she threw unto the street? Dude, you eat with those hooves. And why go into Sugarcube Corner at all? She doesn’t buy anything.

Tiny little detail: in this episode, there are, as Pinkie says ‘Too many Fluttershys to keep track of.’ In the previous one, we saw two Pinkies on screen during the 'Smile!' song.

Foreshadowing to Season 3?

It’s About Time

Hoo boy, where to begin on this opener? First of all, last time I saw this episode, I was still in college, and hadn’t had the couple of counselling sessions yet. Twilight Sparkle is a procrastinator, at first glance. She excessively makes lists because if she doesn’t, she can’t get anything done. Can kind of sympathise with that. Also, Discord won.

Next: ponies know what Arbour Day is. I don’t. Euro-trash and all.

Lastly, Spike saying “I woke up from a nice cream dream for this.”

“Honey, I think you’ve lost your mind again.” - “I have not! It’s right there in the gutter.”

Huh. The place is called Tartaros, not Tartarus. Or is it? Kinda hard to tell with how Twi pronounces it. My bad. And AJ patrolled the perimeter of the Everfree. Suppose that throws a monkey wrench into the whole rousette thing, unless I just say they were already done patrolling and didn’t put much stock in the prediction in the first place.

What did I say about not returning Hades’ chariot, Luna? Ya see what happens?

How the blazin’ saddles would Twilight even know if any evil creatures escaped? Is there a card they need to punch out, mayhaps?

I know I keep playing the same tune and it’s probably getting old at this point, buuut…

Rainbow Dash getting even for Mare Do Well: oh, Twilight? Are you really not going to move?

Ponies in zentai suits. Hey, fellas, does FimFiction have a zentai group yet?

Spike’s spines are bendy enough to be pressed down by a suit.

They literally walk past the locked the gate when they shove Twilight inside.

You’d think Twilight might want to cast an invisibility spell or something when the guard approached. She probably would, if she’d finished that book yet. She mentions it around the start of the episode, while she’s fiddling with her schedule. Writers covered their donkeys with that one.

The time travel spell is what cleanses Twilight from Discord’s influence.

Dragonquest

Rainbow Dash taking a pair of hooves to the gut. Friendship!

“But hey, I’ve done lots of nutty things.” - “We know.”

Soon, Rainbow. Soon your revenge will be complete.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were part pony.” Soo… is that even possible or isn’t it? I’d wager not, but one teenager doesn’t exactly make a reliable citation.

This is probably the only boy-centered episode so far. Spike interacting with other boys in a plot-significant manner. Not bad, actually; the dragons are pretty flat, but not entirely so. They do warm up to him eventually. In a tough guy sort of way.

So dragons appreciate toughness, as a culture. Makes sense.

“We’re just gonna have to hoof it,” says the only mare in the costume who doesn’t have to walk.

Spike names the phoenix after one of the insults the dragons gave him.

Hurricane Fluttershy

I still haven’t seen it mentioned in canon yet that Rainbow Dash is a captain. Did I miss that or just make it up? I can’t recall.

“I’m going to need every pegasus to break the record.” Every pegasus, except for Scootaloo and Featherweight and a bunch of fillies who Diamond Tiara will later claim can all fly, even though we never see pegasi adults flying with their young. What? Rumble’s cool, though, he’s worth three.

Speaking of which: all hail the youngest alpha male of Ponyville! The Rider of Storms, He Who Smiles Through Hurricanes, the one and only Rumble!

*ahem* Sorry, just had to get that off my chest there. Seriously, look at that face when Rainbow makes such a strong wind. Zero f*cks given, that kid. Not sure how many gotten, but give it a few years.

I used to have doubts whether the twins were actually laughing at Fluttershy. But the headturn there does sort of imply it. I don’t think it was meant the way it was taken, though; they don’t act like jerks overall. I’m not even sure if that’s what actually happened. You can’t tell when the hallucination starts, for one thing, and for another, the twins look genuinely surprised when Fluttershy flees, and aren’t looking at her, but at each other. There’s also no crowd laughing at Flutters, even though she hears them and says they were.

I’m sticking with the misunderstanding angle. Either that or the storyboard artists derped.

And dammit, I wanna know what Rumble’s score was.

I only realised on this viewing, and I’m embarrassed I didn’t notice before.

Rumble has a Ralph Wiggum voice. Remind me to exploit that sometime.

The question of why Spitfire doesn’t intervene: it’s probably a rule. If a town that has pegasi isn’t capable of lifting the water, it doesn’t get selected for it next time. And it probably reflects badly on that town’s Weather Patrol. Remember, pegasi were described as a warrior tribe in Hearth’s Warming Eve. It stands to reason some of their military traditions remain intact. Suppose the Appleloosan Weather Patrol had to do it next year? Assuming they get one at all during that time.

Rumble is nowhere to be found during the actual tornado, even though he was clearly there for training and at the actual event. Maybe he’s just off-screen. I find it hard to imagine he didn’t participate with his appearances. If no one's written that fanfic yet, or if there aren't ten of them already, I'm gonna get around to that sometime.

Ponyville Confidential

What the… why is there a balloon Rainbow Dash in the CMC clubhouse? The posters, I can understand, but the balloon pony? That thing looks ugly as sin.

On the other hand: Kaidan is canon, I guess. Tremble in fear, everypony.

And again, it’s Scootaloo who’s the first to not want to work with Diamond Tiara. What happened between those two girls, I wonder?

“We can take a little bit of Diamond Tiara for a lifetime of cutie marks.” Why do I get the feeling that this statement is going to get a whole cargo of different meaning when Season 5 rolls around?

Edit: it did. So hard.

Scootaloo’s attempt at flying only manages to lift her rump in the air. Maybe it’s not her wings that need correcting, but her back and posture? Oh wait, did that already. Carry on.

Snips is the biggest jokester in school? Well, there was that one magic act, but that didn’t win best comedy.

It’s the news stands that keep asking for copies. So there’s that.

Rainbow is really anxious about ponies touching her hooves, huh? Maybe she’s a hoof fetishi-oh, wait, never mind, did that one already, too.

“My sister would never associate with someone as beastly as Gabby Gums.” And yet all the adults remain under the impression the CMC and Diamond and Silver are friends.

“Goody two-horseshoes.” That’s a thing now.

It’s worth noting the girls outnumber Diamond three to one. They could just resort to physical violence.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle get to be affectionate with their sisters, Scootaloo… drops a newspaper. Guessing she’s an only child, then.

I like the moral of this episode more than most: just because it’s popular, doesn’t mean you should ignore your own principles. One of the arguments against writing purely pornographic fics for the view boost.

Yeah, who’d have thunk it? A CMC episode with a moral about porn.

MMMystery on the Friendship Express

The Cakes are idiots. I’m sorry, but they are. Theirs is the only entry that can’t fit through the door. And in case y’all have never seen the Great British Bake-Off (seriously, someone ponify that. Are we ponifying that? Good), part of how a layered cake is judged is how you can cut into it. That thing is a nightmare.

What you get with the girls eating the cake is a case of Tragedy of the Commons. See, if only one of them took a bite out of one of the tiers of the cake, no problem. Remove that tier, serve the rest. No one will be the wiser for it.

So it’s okay to take a bite out of the bottom one: that’s the heaviest and the one that makes it hardest to carry.

It’s okay to take a bite out of the top one, because that’s what gives it too much height: you can get away with removing that and it’ll go through the door more easily without losing too much mass.

It’s okay to take a bite out of the middle one: just remove that, stack the pieces on top of each other and you have an irregular shape for a cake, very modern, darling.

Take a bite out of all of them and… well, yeah.

Also: well done, Rainbow Dash. You have exacted full revenge on Pinkie Pie.

Not a lot of plot to remark on, since this is more of a joke episode.

So everyone says it was Pinkie Pie’s descriptions that caused them to want to eat.

I think I’m starting to see how Puddinghead got elected.

Canterlot Wedding

Okay, writing this down before I watch:

-the way I remember it, the episode wasn’t so much about Twilight as it was about her coming to grips with the fact that her old life is moving on. That’s why it’s Shining and Cadence who do the Deus Ex, not her. The audience is supposed to be feeling her lack of agency in the matter.

-Cadence is a very beloved pony. Celestia loves her a lot, too. Changelings feed off love. Do the math.

-The forcefield isn’t held up by Shining Armour: he charges it in intervals. This means that it’ll still be up when he falls asleep. It also means he might not be able to take it down even if he wanted to.

-Tricking the ponies into thinking they’re safe beneath the dome ensures that the Royal Guard is spread more thinly across Equestria to cover all bases. Since, you know, there’s a lot of critical places to guard: what’s your first priority? The library with the time travel spells, the gates to the underworld, the weather factory?

-As much as I like this one, it does mark the point where the writing staff started sort of a bad habit. After this, they don’t write Season finales anymore. What they write is Season openers with a long break in between. We’re always left with something new now, something game-breaking that really should get its consequences explained and shown, but they never are, not in the episodes themselves. There’s big changes, but no cooldown or letting the consequences sink in. Shining Armour and Cadence are new characters with a truckload of consequences for the lore, but we don’t get a lot of background on them. Again, I can see that this is sort of functional in this particular case, with Twilight not knowing what’s happened while she was gone, but the writers have been doing this consistently since.

And I’m not a fan of that. Let Season openers be openers, and finales be closers, I say.

But hey, I remember this being good, so here goes. This, incidentally, was the first episode I ever saw on a livestream. And the last. How do you Americans keep your brains from melting with that many commercial breaks? Do your young come with some form of plugs for that?

Celestia says Twilight has the most important task: making sure everything goes as planned. Huh. Well, that’s not ominous at all, is it?

Pinkie Pie sneezes out confetti. Remember that, guys.

That’s the Pinkie Sense reacting to changeling plots.

You can sort of see Cadence exerting her influence over the bridesmaids early on, with the wedding dress and all. Could be glamour that only Twilight’s not receptive to. Or deliberately driving Twilight up the wall. Not like that’s a hard trick.

Pinkie’s dice come up snake-eyes.

So the ponies who fire up the Elements of Harmony are in town. You need to make sure they can’t make it to the vault. How do you keep track of all of them? Make’em bridesmaids, works well enough.

To be totally honest, what was Twilight expecting to happen? I mean, she’s overreacted before, and she knows what happens when she does. Never mind telling anyone in charge about it first.

Part 1 is a decent episode, but… again, this is where the bad habits start. Lots and lots of exposition that’s too clunky to fit in this format. It would have worked in a movie, here it’s a little out of place. And in song form, too. Songs are supposed to distract from imperfections, not pile up on them.

Like the ‘Perfect’ song. That is an excellent distraction, right there.

“I want it!” Huh. So that’s where Twilight got the ‘Want it, need it’ spell from. Cadence taught her.

So the argument’s been made that the girls could have kept fighting. After they were already panting with exertion, against a bigger force, in closed quarters, and when they weren’t even trying to fight, but trying to get to the Elements, without losing said Elements to the enemy in the process.

Yeah, I never bought into that, sorry.

As the music plays while they’re putting together the real wedding, for some reason I was reminded of the ending of the Disney version of Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. No idea why. Also, the Deus Ex was sort of informed/foreshadowed in Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Twilight’s actions led to the return of the real Cadence. Errr, so peeving everyone off and getting yourself sent to the same holding cell as the original is a good thing. Remember, girls: real heroes get locked up in a cave.

All in all, pretty much what I remembered: close to Disney, with a lot of the trappings that come with it, and in some places a shade of ponies trying to be something it’s not. But still enjoyable on the whole.