McPoodle Kibble #2: The Personal Journal of the Human Twilight · 5:25am Dec 20th, 2015
Right before Friendship Games came out, I put up two blog posts (this one and this one) speculating about the human Twilight Sparkle. Of course, the movie ended up doing a better job with her than I was doing, so I discontinued the series. Here is as far as I got with the third entry before I gave up:
Part Three: Skulking Around a Schoolhouse
PT: This entry is encoded in a rotating space-and-punctuation inclusive cypher, changing every six sentences, and returning to the original cypher every seven times. It would have been rather difficult to crack, if not for the fact that, well...it’s just what I would do. The following is the decrypted version:
Someone has been reading my journal.
I know this because, when I retrieved it after accidentally leaving it at the restaurant, it was turned the wrong way, and some of the pages smelled like peanut butter. Also, there was somebody giggling from under a neighboring table.
Correction: It was the Pink Girl who was giggling. Her laugh is quite distinctive.
The Pink Girl is a subject I have refrained from mentioning in my journals because I have not yet had the chance to discover her secrets. Alas, detaining inexplicable strangers for scientific studies is still illegal in this unenlightened state in which we live.
I once thought the Pink Girl was an alien. My current hypothesis leans towards elf, or tree sprite.
Hmm...can there be such a thing as a concrete sprite? That appears to be her favorite substrate to materialize out of.
PT: Concrete? No. Wood is more what I’ve observed when it comes to Pinkie’s mysterious entrances and exits...
I do not know what the Pink Girl might do with the information she obtained from my journal. She is in fact remarkably perceptive, as evidenced from the time she left a cupcake with a birthday candle and my initials etched in frosting on my window sill after happening to get my lab supplies catalog by mistake. (This town has a very slipshod postal service.) It was quite a bit of detective work figuring out first that the cupcake was definitely from her, and then how should could have gleaned my birthday from the catalog when the fact was not mentioned anywhere on the publication other than being the same as the anniversary date of my subscription, my way of treating myself in a past era when such things meant more to me than they do now.
But that is irrelevant—I am not investigating the Pink Girl, I am investigating the magical outbreak at Equestria High. I shall introduce myself to S the principal of that school, someone I have obviously never met before. I will offer my expertise in the matter of the recent supernatural occurrences, and then report my findings here.
.o0o.
Someone has been impersonating me.
It was a very disconcerting discovery. On the one hand, there is a certain amount of flattery in knowing that you are considered important enough to impersonate. But on the other hand, to know that this chameleon was so obviously incompetent at the job is very disappointing—it implies a lack of respect.
I’ve seen the security footage of this false Twilight Sparkle, provided to me by the accommodating vice principal of the school. The physical resemblance is uncanny (down to the presence of a doppelganger Spike), but that’s as far as it goes. The choice of clothing and mannerisms are wrong, even...alien. It’s possible that the fake was a robot, imperfectly programmed. Unfortunately, she is nowhere to be found. After both occasions when the fake visited the school, she disappeared. Well, that’s not saying much—she walked out the front doors, and wasn’t seen again. There is a security camera that is pointing right out the entrance at the statue of Maximus the Horse, but it malfunctioned a day before her first appearance and again shortly before her second appearance. In both cases, the camera proved persistently inoperable until after the fake’s disappearances.
This was far more than a coincidence. I asked the vice principal to inform me the moment that camera stopped working again.
I sought out Sunset Storm, who I suppose I cannot hide the fact that she does work at Canterlot High, although I will not state for the record in what capacity. She expressed surprise that I was not the individual she met on two separate occasions, believing that the Twilight she met was merely pretending not to know her alias to avoid exposing it. She mentioned that the fake addressed her as “princess” on their first meeting.
I do not know what to make of this.
I have been very careful to avoid encountering any of the students of the school, restricting my investigation to closed rooms and only surveying the grounds of the school after hours. I have been informed that the false Twilight Sparkle was very popular with them—yet another sign that we are nothing alike—and so feared that they might react negatively to me, perhaps seeing me as her impostor, instead of vice versa.
On both occasions when “Twilight Sparkle” visited CHS, she was involved in mind control schemes. Oddly, she appeared on both occasions to be on the side that was foiling those schemes instead of instigating them. The culprits in the first case are unnamed, because principal and vice principal insisted on protecting the guilty party(ies) identities. In the other case, the plot was masterminded by three teenage delinquents that called themselves the “Dazzlings”. Perhaps the fact that these individuals used their powers on the principal and vice principal first is why they had no qualms in identifying them to me.
Magic was involved. Of that I have no doubt. My wand lit up in two locations in particular: the area in front of the school that the malfunctioning camera was pointed, and at the city amphitheater (a few blocks away from the campus), which was the site mentioned in the mind-controlled letter I quoted in a previous entry of this journal.
To the best of my recollection, Human Twilight Sparkle would have snuck into Equestria (specifically, Princess Twilight’s castle), and then had to adjust to becoming a unicorn. I really had nothing interesting planned after this—I didn’t even have a payoff for the Spike plot.
