Anxiety - what it feels like · 8:27pm Jul 24th, 2015
I take one breath, slowl but shallow, than an other, and an other, my breathing becoming quicker and quicker as I still don't feel any air passing down into my lungs, my desparation growing bigger as the feeling that I can't breath spread through my body.
Finally I stop. After a few moments, I try again. I take a deep, slow breath that is in reality shallow, but it feel deep as I finally feel the air filling my lungs again.
It's still not over.
A thousand thoughts and questions fly around in my head, togheter becoming a big swarm that stop me from thinking, concentrating or doing anything . I try without success to separate the thoughts and take them one by one, but it's Impossible. In my head they're just one big goo that is stopping my brain from functioning.
Somehow, I still realise I need to focus. Think of something else. Something that is better, safer, calmer and happier.
I follow my own instonct and tro to produce happy memories, but by the time I do its no idea because the goo in my head have robbed me of the happiness the me mories usually gave me.
There's nothing left to do, and no idea to fight. Yet I can't show what I'm feeling to everyone else. I don't want their questions and worries, don't want the teachers to know. Instead I just lock myself on the toilet, put my headphones on and blast music into my ears, drowning some of the thoughts and if I'm lucky managing to function enough to fool everyone that I'm okay.
Everyday
I make people believe
That I'm calm
Collected
Happy
Concentrated
Okay
But in reality
Anxiety is eating me up on the inside.
Some of you might think it's ridiculous, what I'm telling you. But it's true. There is so many, that feel this way. But you'd probably never know. Because we always try to concel it, try not to feel it.
So never take anyone for granted. Ever.
*snuggles close* I'mbhere for you. (I'm all ears if you need me <3)
3266191
<3
I know baby
I know exactly how you feel
3266199 <3
We all wear a mask, our masks are just different. Some, can sometimes see through the mask, and maybe turn it to a reality, if only for a moment.
3266201
It suck, doesn't it? I hate worrying about everything. I hate forcing my self to wait outside the door to the church or any place I'm meeting uo with people, just to make sure I'm not the first one to arrive. I hate feeling like people is starring at me wherever I go.
3266208 Yes it does
I always used to have anxiety attacks during exams
I too am here for you, dear, my wonderful surrogate daughter, pm me whenever you need, I will help all I can, or be the shoulder to cry on, or just hold you close as a mother would, I am here.
3266205
If you ever need me, I'm here, too. I'll muss you while I'm gone
3266210
I had during my national tests (country-wide tests performed in grade 6 and 9 during middle school, as well as later in High School, the results from the tests being used to mesure how good or bad the Swedish school system in general is doing)... especially math and Science...it was really horrible and I was literally crying when I finished my math test because I could feel it went to hell...
3266218 *hugs* yes it is horrible
3266214
Thank you. It's good to know that I got people tgat care..
3266219
*hug* but we always got eachother to talk to
3266230 Yes we do.
3266217 When I'm down, I usually just need to talk. Watch YouTube or play a game. These are the three things that get me in a better mood, and you're one of them <3
3266231
3266242 <3
I'll stand by you.
This helped ShatteredHeart with anxiety attacks. Maybe it'll help you.
When you get one, close your eyes, take deep breaths through your nose and out your mouth, and repeat this:
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
3266320
Thanks bro. I think I'm gonna try that on the first day in my new school (because I can feel the anxiety for that day eating away at me already now,so I KNOW I'll be amxious then)
3266330
(Hugs tight)
I hope it helps.
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3266334
(Hug)
3266602 <3